Child Protection is a coming...

[PurpleOne]

and I really don't know what to expect. My house is a total tip.

Does anyone know what an assesment entails?

Mamazon, No really? The one thing I am dreading is having him involved.
His wife slags me off to the kids as it is...for them to hear about this. I won't see any extra support from him and I'm sure his wife will have a bloody good lol about it.

Custy, I just buy what I need to make a meal. Once stuff goes into the fridge or freezer, it tends to just stay there!. The kids will alaways eat. I'll have a main meal, and then just eat toast or cereal if we get hungry.

Lisa - yes exh does have PR. If I tell him any of my business, he uses it against me. Like last Friday when I told him I was going on a date. He dumped the kids at the pub where I was at.
The gas ran out last weekend, and the kids had a strip wash. He and wife said they were dirty!. Then his wife said in front of dd2 that 'I needed a good slapping round the face because I don't care'. [evil]
dd2 came home and burst into tears.

That's why I keep things from him.

please tell me to bog off if you dont want to answer but why have teh children missed school? i am assuming this has been gouing on for a very long time if you have lready recieved a court summons.

and yes sadly if your x has parental responsibility for teh children he has a right to know what is happening. because he is a frequent figure in the childrens lives they may want to talk to him with regard to the childrens welfarw too.

You can speak to your SW about not informing him. it will very much depend on the outcome of the meeting i would assume. if they feel there is no further action required then i doubt they will even speak to him but obviously if it is felt you need some support then they will probably invite him into the mix.

try not to think about his new partner. its very easy to laugh when others are on hard times. but karma has a way of kicking you up the arse! she will get what is due to her.

oh bugger i might get a visit too then it sounds like a strict school!
Honestly, they are there to help. I always made sure my families were getting everything they needed money wise and as long as i could see enough food for the next 2-3 days i wasnt too concerns. Alot of families buy the mimunim for the week, its called budgetting in my book

maybe your DH should offer more help instead of moaning about the care you give. Please tell me to bugger off, but the only thing that would concern me would be, if you cant afford to fill the cupboards (not full but you know what i mean) but can afford a drink?

im not being judgey (honest) but i have 3dc and you really do need to have bits in your cupboards even a couple of tims of beans tins of soup etc will make all the difference- you clearly arent stupid and i dont want to come across wrong but no matter how hard it is keeping on top of the gas meter you HAVE to do it-your children are at an age where hygeine is super important.

good luck i hope you get on ok.

hopefully when they come they can talk yo through the benefits you are getting to ensure you are recieving all your entitled to.
they can also help you budget, i agree with Lisa about the alcohol. but as youhave already said you have a drink problem i am assuming this is something you are aware of and are trying to deal with.

It does sound as though you could do with some support. you are doing the best you can within your means but sometimes our own best needs a little top up from someone else.

Chappy, the gas meter has a debt of £500 on it and is set to collect at 70% credit. So, therefore, a fiver is put on and £4 goes straight away. I don't have a shower here either, landlord says I have to pay for one. Costs me 60p for a bath, which we share 3 times.

Mama and Lisa, I do know what your getting at. The kids have missed school and I don't have enough food, as I said in my OP, I have a drink PROB.

Whoops! mama, you just said that.
X posts.

purps thats a dreadful tarif im sure you must be able to get support from somewhere to pay that bill off lower or reduced-PLEASE ask the sw for advice on this as i think this would help you greatly -i am shocked at that and appreciate it must be hugeeeeeee struggle to manage that-maybe this s.w will be able to support you to work towards a better future for you and your daughters its very hard being alone - this may be too many steps forward but have you tried the AA? my good friend attends a lot of their meetings nd has resolved her drink issues nd found a huge support structure there too.

well its great you know what is wrong, and im a firm believe that a lot of parents can come to a solution themselves but with support (kinda cant see wood though the trees thing).
please ask for help, it seems alot of the difficulties your having are from the drinking, eg no money for food and gas, but money is spent on food, kids arent getting to school (im assuming but please tell me if im wrong) as your still in bed?
I dont want to sound harsh, please dont think im judging. you sound liek you love your kids very much and hopefully to SW can get you get the support you need.

purpleone - have you been to CAB? They may be able to help you reduce your gas debt. I think EDF has a fund to help people pay off bills. I applied for it on CAB's recommendation to pay off water arrears (left by ex). I didn't get it, but your need sounds greater than mine was at the time.

Its ok Purple. it must seem as though every comment is a bit of a dig. i assure it's not.

your gas tarrif is terrible. i would suggest contacting your supplier and explaining that you simply cannot afford that amount of repayment and is there anything you can do. if that fails thre is the British gas charity that is able to help resolve past debts to fuel companies. i dont have the link but if you are any good at archiving im sure you will be able to find it on here somewhere.

Ask the Sw about local charity organisations too. it may be possible to get some hamper's of food. you could use them to stock your cupboards with some filler bits and that way you can use your money to put an extra amount on the gas every couple of weeks.

different area's have various different schemes to help those in your situation. the SW will be able to get details of these.

the most important thing is thatyou can see there are area's that need support and you are willing to accept it.

Purpleone, you sound as if you are struggling a lot. No money, no food, lack of basics like hot water, kids missing school and funds being diverted to pay for alcohol.

You must be absolutely truthful and honest with social services when they come.Whitewashing over the mess will not help you or the kids.

Safe detox is the most important thing right now and I hope that you will be able to stay dry. Things like antabuse and acamprosate can help with that. Ask for as much help and support as you can. Your local drug and alcohol team should be able to put you in touch with lots of different services like tenant's support, counselling,etc

I think the best you can hope to achieve is continued support for the drink problem - there is no point pushing for SEction 17 money because that is like them paying for the drink so they won't go for that (obv.!)and possibly some support for your children in dealing with you when you can't give 100 percent.

They have support sessions for children where the children are taught coping strategies for when the parent isn't functioning at 100% - would have thought your dc would qualify for soemthing like this.

By the way I would like to state a reality here to anyone who wonders how things can be so difficult: "yes there MUST surely be a way, but often there isn't...Governmental resources are as overstretched as our own personal and very individual ones"

I always keep that in mind before baring my soul to SS.
Sorry to post a downer but I reckon think big but aim small in terms of SS support- less frustration and bitter disappointment that way.Sorry.

lisa-yeah your right. dd1 gets herself up and off, it's just dd2 who doesn't get up when the alarm goes off and wakes me.

Harpo, I don't know about EDF as I'm with BG. I spoke to the OfGas person a few weeks ago who said they would look into it. Then got a shit letter from BG who said basically, cause they had to apply for a warrant. (I had a letter about that, but I'd asked them for PP meter 4 times and no one showed up) and they refuse to lower the collection rate as the debt is so high. (live above a shop, don't always get my post due to lazy postman)

I've not been to CAB as yet...and I really don't think anyone is judging me.

Just don't set me on fire lol

Objectivity -whats a section 17?? [dim look]

go to CAB, PurpleOne! Not saying they can solve all the problems but they can minimize the financial ones. I had horrendous debts run up because of ex (drug addict) and I really couldn't have got back on my feet without their help.

this is the EDF fund - doesn't look as though you have to be with EDF to qualify.

I would get CAB to help you do an application rather than try to do it yourself.

blows out her match ;)
Im off to bed but hope your feeling calmer and hope you get the support and help you need, especially for your little girls

TL. I have a keyworker at my local DAAT. I haven't been able to see her lately due to the holidays. I got a secret stash of acamprosate, but I'm too scared to try it, because I'm not supervised and not sure of the side effects.

the terms of section 17 of the Act, every child under the age of 18 is entitled to a full assessment of his/her needs and, if approached, social services have a legal duty to carry out this assessment and can be challenged if they fail to respond to any request for a section 17 child-in-need assessment. here

It is use of (limited) money which SS can access in order to help meet needs of children in need.

why have you got the internet if you are broke, can't afford gas and only that days meals?

Didn't we have the whole internet for the poor debate just the other day?

acamprosate helps reduce cravings. Can't remember what the side effects are off the top of my head, but whatever they are , they cannnot be worse than the liver, brain and cardiovascular damage etc that the alcohol is giving you.

There would have been a leaflet with the tablets. That will explain more.

Sorry for asking this - I am not trying to be judgemental, but how much do you want to give up drinking. I only ask because you were prescribed something helpful but didn't take it. Was not knowing the side effects the only reason? Or is the thought of giving up too overwhelming?

was the consesus that if you can't aford your gas you shouldn't really be paying for internet?