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Child Protection is a coming...

97 replies

PurpleOne · 12/08/2008 22:36

and I really don't know what to expect. My house is a total tip.

Does anyone know what an assesment entails?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
FioFio · 15/08/2008 07:48

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popsycal · 15/08/2008 08:26

hope it went ok

90% attendance would be half a day off every week

ConnorTraceptive · 15/08/2008 08:50

90% isn't particularly good but ime the EWO usually only starts proceedings when it's consistently below 80%. mind you different areas may have different policies

Dropdeadfred · 15/08/2008 12:56

I think it's wrong for you to 'hide' your drinking from your ex. He has the right to know how his children are being brought up and he may be able to have them more often or offer other help...

SpandexIsMyEnemy · 15/08/2008 12:58

bit worried. x

PurpleOne · 15/08/2008 15:36

My modem is broken so posting from the library at mo.

It went ok, but lots of talk about abuse and neglect and such forth. Feeling a bit right now though.

Waiting for another modem to come through the post so will be offline until then.

Am being allocated a social worker in a few weeks and will see what they suggest.

Thanks all. Got to go, time is running out.

OP posts:
citronella · 15/08/2008 16:40

Sorry things are so tough for you now. Really hope you get all the help you need though I don't really have any better ideas than what has been said already.

ivenamechangedforthis · 16/08/2008 10:03

I've been watching this thread anxiously for some while but afraid to post because I know I will get flamed so am afraid I have name changed
Purple one I sincerely hope you are ok and you get the help you need but I am seriously worried for your children.
IME social services will only get involved if they are worried seriously about the children ...and more than a 90% absence (which in itself is bad enough what chance will your kids have to better themselves if you don't make sure they take school seriously)...
I think you have had plenty of support on here which is great as you clearly need it but I am afraid that I think some straight talking is needed to
If someone had posted this on AIBU with a different slant (single mother drinks every day, kids don't go to school, don't always get a hot meal)...then that mother would have been slated and the OP told to get social services involved)
I don't think Purpleone should be slated at all I think she needs help and support....but so do her children...they deserve it
This thread is surprisingly lacking in concern or queries about the children (who see their mother on regular benders, find there is often no food in the house, has a guinea pig in a bedroom (and trust me I know the mess and smell they make ours is in the garage and is bad enough), and some days either have to get themselves up and out for school or don't even make it if their mum stay in bed till midday )...

I agree the father should be around more and have no idea of the history - but doesn't appear he has been told how bad things are
He is slated for going on holiday ...but there is money for drink (and ??fags) but not for food or gas

I am so sorry for this family - but I have seen the result of children who have lived through it - and the best thing is that social services are involved - don't hide from them or play down what is happening - accept their help with open arms - but you have to want to change you have to want help (and I know that this is very hard for an alcoholic)...please please get help, change, make a better life for you kids ...

Otherwise this could be your family...is that really what you want
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/2724/516656

lisad123 · 16/08/2008 11:27

ivechangedmynameforthis. Your right, straight talking is needed, and I think some of the post have been.
The children are atleast going to school, are being feed (although not always hot meals) and are made to wash, if they cant have a bath. Yes things are bad but purpleone is trying, the girls are old enough to take a fair amount of their self care themselves, and they have a dad whom they see and Im guessing he does feed, dress and carwe for them too.

Its horrible, yes i have seen these things in RL in my previous job, but it could be so much worse. Im sure if purpleone could stop drinking she would, but its not so easy.

Purpleone, Im glad SS were able to offer some help, and hope your ok.

Mamazon · 16/08/2008 11:37

INCFT - yes i agree with all that youhave said. but as i stated in an earlier post there is a time and place for straight talking and i really didn't think that jumping on PO would have helped her at the moment.
SS are involved now and they will do all they can to encourage and assist Po in getting the help she needs.

of course we are concerned for teh children's welfar. but sometimes by being a little more gentle in your approach you are able to maintain a healthy relationship and therefore continue to moniter the situation...if you jump in all guns blazing you run the risk of offending the OP and therefore never hearing what is going on again.,....which would help no one.

PurpleOne - im glad that the visit went ok. You don't sound too chuffed about it but i am guessing they only really pointed out to you what you already knew deep down....thatyoru drinking is affecting your children.

Sometimes knowing you have a social worker that will visit and keep tabs on what your up to is enough of a motivation to make sure you attend clinic's, keep the house tidy, getthe kids off to school etc.

Please try and look at this as a good thing. you have wanted to change for a long time andnow you have that extra bit of support and motivation to push you along.

Do keep us updated and good luck

Tinkerbel6 · 16/08/2008 13:45

PO can you email me please

fitbabe98 @ hotmail.com

FioFio · 18/08/2008 07:53

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gillybean2 · 19/08/2008 23:31

PurpleOne I have emailed you. Please get in touch with Tinkerbel6 or myself

LackaDAISYcal · 20/08/2008 22:47

god PO, I've not seen any of your recent posts and we have missed you on the FB thread. hope you are OK and reading this, even if you are not posting. I've missed all of this as I've been on holiday
you know where i am if you need to talk.

I hope everything is OK.

PO has been seeking help with her alcohol addiction and has been making very good progress and trying to get things together but I guess the stuff with the EWO and SS has knocked her back. (I hope you don't mind me sharing that PO)

PurpleOne · 25/08/2008 15:41

Have emailed you Tinker and Gilly. Still got no net at home.

Maybe I took it in the wrong context but my mate said yesterday, on the phone that I was useless.
Am doing relatively ok, glad the dc's go back to school next week. Trying to get my head together and still feeling a bit about everything.

I dont mind you sharing that Daisy, hope to catch up with you on FB very soon. Miss you all x

OP posts:
Tinkerbel6 · 26/08/2008 11:48

Hiya PO glad you are ok, I really wouldn't take it to heart regarding the useless remark, some people use it as a throwaway comment but often don't realise it can be hurt, I hope that your friend is there for you and taking your situation serious, I have emailed you back x

PurpleOne · 05/09/2008 00:03

The CPT are coming back again first thing in the morning, with minimal notice on their end. Said they had a 'few more questions' to ask me and they will be grilling meeting my dc's at school too.

On a good note, I got my LFT results back yesterday. Slightly elevated Bilirubin levels but within normal range....heavily deficient in B12, Folic acid and Iron though.

Just thought I'd update you all, my modem arrived yesterday. x

OP posts:
Tinkerbel6 · 05/09/2008 10:14

Nice to hear from you again, has the doctor prescribed any vitamins for you ? bet you are spendind the day doing a Kim and Aggie aye , lol, glad you have a new modem, you definately need contact with us sane people

Dropdeadfred · 05/09/2008 10:16

What will they ask you dcs?

dilemma456 · 06/09/2008 08:03

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PurpleOne · 06/09/2008 12:33

They had already been to see the children at school before they even came to see me at home, which I am totally about.
She just launched into some stuff that DD2 had said, and now we have 2 conflicting stories. DD2 also told them about the babysitting that DD1 does for her, and used the words 'home alone', which makes it sound like it's all day every day. When in essence, it's only a couple of hours a week. And she told them that mummy smacks her? WTF
DD2 is a notorious thumbsucker and I tap her hand to make her get her fingers out of her mouth, FGS, it's just a bloody tap.

Then came all the usual spiel about marking them and leaving bruises, which I certainly have never done.

The SW then rang exh at my home and I could hear him down the phone 'what''s it got to do with me? Why am I being involved in this?'. The SW asked him about the maintenance he was paying us and he told a completely different story to what I told the SW, as he'd lied about access and contact to save himself some shekels.
It just makes me look like such a damn mug with the lies exh told and the conflicting stories.

Exh was hammering on my front door last night, telling me I'd ballsed up big time. Saying that he cannot afford it. £17 a week for 2 kids whom he sees for 3 hrs a week. He has 2 cars and a taxi and is off to Sri Lanka next month.
I overheard him telling DD1 to lie about the amount of contact he has with them both, to get him off the hook.

It's all such a damn mess now and I wish that I'd never bloody said anything at all. They'll never leave me alone now will they?

OP posts:
Tinkerbel6 · 06/09/2008 13:08

POI I think you need to write everything down on paper giving your side to all of this, spare no compassion for your ex whatever, tell that what he does pay and exactly what hours he see's the girls, also explain when the eldest babysit (as I was aware there is no guideline detailing what age a child can be left alone), and also state about the tapping of the hand, I doubt that SS would take it as gospel what children say as everyone knows how childrens versions of things are not 100%

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