i fancy someone, anyone else got thier sights on someone? indulge me in this bit of fantasy!

[piratecat]

I do like having a fancy, yet as nice as it is it really makes you realise you are on yuor own iyswim.

Like being single is my normal, and its ok, but you realise it would in fact be nice to have someone to cuddle. (and the rest)

[piratecat]

hi, things are changing. i like change, i used to be so scared of it.

Lou, was this the guy who you you spoke about sometime back.?

I replied to the text, said I too was wanting to take things steady, as he had siad he wasn't sure if he wanted to dive straight into antoher relationship, as he has oly been split for a few months after ten yrs.

I just think i have to play tis one differently, what i mean is, it's all very well thinking oh here we go headlong into another relationship, but tbh, i have been aone so long I don't want to be in another realtionship, until i am sure.

I have no idea what will happen, and thats one thing i have learnt, and i said that in my text, so i just said, let me know.

I am not going to push it, for my sake and his.
Any boyfriend i have had before my marriage, so we are tlaking 13 yrs bacl at least, was the result of a one night stand or someone at college. This actually is the first time I think i have ever done the softly softly coffee thing!!

[lou33]

thank you

pirate, it's the one i started a thread about, regarding love and marriage

i have said no to marriage for now, but i do feel sure i am doing the right thing

taking it slowly is a good thing btw, just see how it goes and have fun in the meantime

[piratecat]

is that thread on lp lou?

[lou33]

no it is here

[fawkeoff]

awwww LOU and PC i am so friggin chuffed for you both.................

so get this

i have just been on facebook, and had a message from a blast from the past....asking me how i was, if i was still with EX blah blah blah......then asked me if i remembered one particular night we seriously got it on .............i was like "cant believe you have brought that up....and of course i remember"

then askin me if i enjoyed it and do i want to meet with him.............WTF!!!!!!!

[piratecat]

phew

i can see both sides, as many have pointed out.

but here on sunday you say

^i just know that lovely as he is, i cant see us as a couple , especially not long term

whilst we get along very well, there are parts of us that are very different, which would not be good for along term partnership, and he isnt the type of man who cold have a short term fling or romance, so i feel i would be lying to him if i tried to continue this any further

sadly, despite the fact i thought i had been clear on how slowly i wanted to progress with this, and could not promise him anything (which he said he understood and agreed with), this weekend he has been talking about us more in terms of a couple

yes i know it sounds odd when this man has proposed to me, and i was mulling about it, why shouldnt he think like that

but i didnt know he felt like that about me when he proposed, hence me saying i want to take it slowly and why i was on here asking you all for thoughts

yes he is lovely, treats me v v well, gets on with my kids , would leave me financially secure and i am fond of him, but it didnt feel right when he was speaking about us as a couple^

then this week things have progressed, but what things have made the future with him seem better. Plus, i do have to say, i know sex is not everything, but you have always struck me as a sexual person Lou. Thats one thing that can be very very demoralising, when sexually you are out of synch (so to speak)

Just hope that you don't all get hurt. Sincerely.

[piratecat]

can i just say, that i hope i have not irritated you by speaking in relation to that post, which i am sure i would have done the other week!! Yet i was abroad.

Maybe it's your fear. Fear of someone actually promising you things. I know that I would have trust issues.

i do wish you luck.x

[piratecat]

something in the air i think fawke!!!

[lou33]

i know i come across as v muddled on that thread, and i was, but i am sure about this now

it would be too long and complicated to explain, but i think it basically boils down to the fact that i have been scared of getting too close to anyone and look for reasons not to get involved (sometimes actively sometimes subconsciously)

we have spent many many hours talking about our relationship and also the practical side, so neither of us are going into it blindly

i am more sure every day actually

and of course i am not going to take offence

[fawkeoff]

LOU..... you are a grown woman, it is your decision.....nithing in life is certain is it??? you could be with a man you are madly in love and super attracted to.....and it could still go tits up

if you dont try it you are never going to know are you!!!!!

love can come in time, it may not do but that is the risk you take....why not make the most of what you have together.....and hope that it grows (((((hug))))))

PC!!!!!!! I KNOW!!!!!
it is just wierd, i cant believe he even brought it up ha ha.....well he must have enjoyed it then

[lou33]

ty fawke

i appreciate that

[fawkeoff]

you're welcome lou x

I just think we all deserve happiness and to feel safe and content in life.

maybe it isn't how you planned it to be, but so what....you have the chance to be really happy, you are not leading him on, he knows how you feel

every relationship has to have the effort put in for it to work, i hope that it works out for you both x

[piratecat]

yes cos as we all know the wonderful fairy tale plans we had went awol.

I would prob feel confused even if the most desirable man ever wanted me. Mind you even then i would prob be questioning myself.

trust, it IS the key isn't it, we have all lost trust in others, and in our own judgement.

3 yrs after slit I still can't say that even if this guy i like wnated to be a boyfirned, that i would be able too.

[piratecat]

make that 'split' eh

lmfao!!!

[lou33]

you sound like i was pirate!

[piratecat]

and the reason is i have been damaged. emotionally.

Thats only cos i trusted someone very important and lovely.

How does it feel Lou, to think of sharing a home with someoone again?

[lou33]

i swore i wouldnt pirate, but i am looking forward to it!

i must be growing up/calming down!

[IllegallyBrunette]

Very happy for you both

[lou33]

it's nice to have good news for a change

[piratecat]

and here is some more from the bbc weather site

The Azores High pressure, which is often responsible for settled weather over the UK during the summer months, looks set to make a return this week. As it drifts up from the mid-Atlantic the southern half of the UK will feel its influence first and drier, sunnier weather is expected for many. However the influence of the Azores High tapers off as we move north, with Scotland looking set to stay rather wet.

The sunshine in the south will bring higher than average temperatures for this time of year.

hooray?!!!!

[piratecat]

oh this from 21st july onwards (prays)

[lou33]

the 19th would be better, i have a street bbq to attend, and it pissed down last year iirc

[piratecat]

where r you again?

[davidtennantsmistress]

WOW!!!! GOOD LUCK LOU, you really deserve some happiness, & I hope it works out well with your chap.

pirate - you to. going slow n steady is a good thing I think, leads to a longer slower burning relationship - least that's my thoughts.

things are plodding on here - have taken the plunge n agreed a second date with sat's man on fri night, so lets hope it goes well.

oh and re the reassurances thingy - no one can give either person the reassurance if being together forever - we've all been there right? no one can make promises and shouldn't tbh about the future. just take each day as it comes and enjoy it while it lasts - that's what i'm thinking now!

[lou33]

thanks dtm

pirate, i am in sw surrey