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Original poster

Just wondering - How many LP's with 3 or more kids have found a new man ??

170 replies

CrackerOfNuts · 17/05/2008 09:08

Just curious.

I know 1 person with 3 kids who found a new bloke pretty much without even trying, but thats it, don't know anymore.

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nappyaddict · 20/05/2008 14:19

it is insulting i agree but that's the way it seems to be. in the beginning, when it starts to get a bit more serious, most men seem to assume that's where you want things to end up and when you add a dc into that its just a bit much for some. most will think you are telling them otherwise just to "keep" them.

Original poster
CrackerOfNuts · 20/05/2008 17:10

Lovely to hear that it does sometimes work out VS.

However, I can't help think that it is a very rare occurance (sp?).

I have been having a good think about this over the last few days, the good and bad points of not having a man, the effect a new man would have on the kids etc, and have decided that ultimatly it isn't worth the hassle.

If I stay single, then I know pretty much how my life will pan out for the next few years. If I carry on looking for something that I will never find, then I will just end up miserable.

I have my kids, and should be grateful for that, and stop looking for something else to complicate things.

OP posts:
allgonebellyup · 20/05/2008 17:40

cracker - you think TOO much!!!!!

Why not plan some nights out on the town, get drunk, have loads of fun, and make sure you keep doing this, you need a social life any way!
then you never know what might happen, and even if nothing ever does happen, at least youre having a laugh!

Pinkchampagne · 20/05/2008 17:59

I don't think it is that rare, nutty. Agree it would be better to stop focusing so much on finding a man, but plan ways to enjoy yourself & do things for you.

When I separated from ex H, going out with my friends, or even just having friends round to the house, really lifted my spirits.
I wasn't on the look out for a man at all - infact I was adament I was staying single for a very long time, when one night I literally walked right into someone lovely. We have been together 9 months now.

Concentrate on yourself, then one day I am sure someone will come along...but it will probably be a time you are least expecting it!

Original poster
CrackerOfNuts · 20/05/2008 18:46

I don't like going out and getting drunk though, never have.

I don't mind going out for a meal with a friend/s, or to the pictures etc, but hanging out in a pub or club getting drunk, is not my idea of fun.

Perhaps I am old before my time, I don't know, but it's just not what I like doing.

At least it won't be hard to stay single anyway, that is something I am good at

OP posts:
allgonebellyup · 20/05/2008 18:48

oh nutty, you wont meet someone sitting in silence at the cinema!!

Original poster
CrackerOfNuts · 20/05/2008 18:50

Thats ok, I won't meet anyone then.

I don't tend to even like the type of blokes that frequent pubs and clubs, so i'd not meet any I liked there anyway.

OP posts:
Pinkchampagne · 20/05/2008 18:59

I met my man in a club type place. Neither of us are big clubbers, and neither of us especially like the place we were in at the time! We were both out having a night out with friends, shortly after both of us had gone through separations.
Neither of us go to this club often now, but if I hadn't been there that night, I would never have met him!

Push yourself to have a few nights out with friends. You don't have to get drunk to enjoy yourself, and are far more likely to meet someone if you start socializing & enjoying yourself. Then once you have met someone nice, they can take you to the cinema!!

lou33 · 20/05/2008 18:59

i found someone we were together 9 months til he emigrated, but you know that

i've had lots of dates, they all know i have kids

i think it is a confidence issue with you nutty

zippi, she wouldnt come out with charliecat and myself either

Original poster
CrackerOfNuts · 20/05/2008 19:09

You are probably right about the confidence thing. I don't have any, so probbaly won't ever have enough to actually go on a date even if asked.

It obviously pisses some of you off that you have offered to go out with me and I have refused, so I think perhaps I'll just stop posting about it all together now.

Thanks for the advice anyway.

OP posts:
lou33 · 20/05/2008 19:20

oh nutty stoppit

noone is pissed off, we are just trying to help!

ElizabethBeresford · 20/05/2008 19:21

The ages of the children might matter more.

2 children under 5 might be more off-putting than 3 children between 5 and 10.

But I don't know.......

zippitippitoes · 20/05/2008 19:24

im just joshing nutty

about going out

i hardly ever go out to pubs either and never to clubs

i prefer to be doing something

well i do go to pubs but not usually for long

as far as confidence goes you have to just bite the bullet i think

im not a confident person either but if i want to do something i make myself

i am thinking of going to a festival on my own this summer but it is taking some effort to psych myself up to it

Original poster
CrackerOfNuts · 20/05/2008 19:27

Stop what Lou ??

How is posting about me as if i am not here 'zippi, she wouldnt come out with charliecat and myself either', helping me ?

OP posts:
zippitippitoes · 20/05/2008 19:37

i think it is totaly random where you might meet someone so if you do want to meet new people then the more different places you go the more likely you might meet someone who is nice

i owouldnt have met anyone if i hadnt gone on dating sites

well actually it was going to egypt that boosted my confidence because i mixed with a group of new people none of whom knew each other

and going to college

all these things i did on my own

i dont have any friends here now because i lost them all through being ill and gettign divorced

so i have had to start from scratch

it is really hard

i am working on doing stuff because i dont want to be mad and lonely and i know ity is bad to be co dependent on anyone else

lou33 · 20/05/2008 20:45

well in my case it goes along with what i was saying about your lack of confidence, it was not trying to make you feel bad, just saying i had offered to come out with you for a girls night out, but you had refused

i wasnt posting as if you were not here, i was replying to another post which said you had said not to going out with them

Nighbynight · 20/05/2008 20:53

gosh c o n, I am beginning to think that you are me. I cant stand bars/club either. And I have no better ideas.
Oh, except that I am an engineer, so I meet loads of single guys, and they are not bad either but I am still single, sigh.

maltesers · 20/05/2008 21:12

I have..... the best man i have met in my life....kind, caring, conciderate, great body, not handsome but a great lover, and very sweet. Wish i had met him years ago.
I have 3 kids, but they are 20. 17. and 7 years old. SO the only one he gets involved in is my 7 yr old ds.... So its like i have only one child i suppose. !!

glitterfairy · 20/05/2008 22:14

Pinkchampagne I am so glad you are happy!

I am still taking things very slowly and having a fab time at the moment.

He is coming over to meet the kids for dinner and then buzzing off in a couple of weeks time. We will see how that goes as my fearsome three are frankly scary, intimidating and will grill him about his intentions talk about baptism by fire!

Pinkchampagne · 20/05/2008 22:53

Lol! I am pleased to hear it is going well, GF. You deserve to have a nice time.

My man hasn't had that much contact with my boys yet. They have both met him & like him, but I tend to see him when the boys are with their dad or asleep.
He was introduced as my "friend", but DS1 was watching at the top of the stairs while we had a quick goodbye hug & kiss, and he said "Ha, I knew it - I spied on you, and I was right - he is your boyfriend!"
He was smiling away, so it obviously didn't bother him too greatly!

Hope all goes well with the dinner date, GF.

singledadofthree · 21/05/2008 00:45

i guess as my 3 kids are aged between 16 and 21 any new woman would have little or no involvement with them - much the same as me - we're all so busy.

and there is of course nothing wrong with single mums - is over 20 years since i dated a woman who didnt have kids

nappyaddict · 21/05/2008 01:10

nutty - you don't have to get drunkif you go to a club or bar. i go to bars and clubs cos i like the music, i like the atmosphere and i like dancing. when i go i very rarely get drunk. i'll have a few drinks but i go out to see my friends, have a dance and a giggle and enjoy myself - not for the sole purpose of getting rat arsed. i prefer to know what i'm doing and remember my good night out and not end up with a hang over or puking down the toilet bowl

lou33 · 21/05/2008 01:25

na is right, going out to me does not equate with getting as pissed as you can and pulling some random munter out of desperation so you can say you scored

it is about having fun with your friends

nappyaddict · 21/05/2008 01:30

that's twice in 2 days i have been told i am right. could get used to this

lou33 · 21/05/2008 01:39

you are an old soul in a young body

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