Just wondering - How many LP's with 3 or more kids have found a new man ??

[CrackerOfNuts]

Just curious.

I know 1 person with 3 kids who found a new bloke pretty much without even trying, but thats it, don't know anymore.

flings are great fun!!

its not irresponsible, you dont have to tell your dc anything at all!
stop looking for something serious because you will be disappointed, in fact - stop looking FULL STOP!

Why does it have to be something serious, surely that is more stress..
just keep a couple of men on their toes and have FUN!!!

I have flings......and I don't consider myself to be desperate. Flings are good.

hmm....fun, or bad for your self-esteem? flings too risky for me. Cant afford to feel bad these days, I have chidlren to consider.

Exactly a year ago (today) my friend and I went to a Junior School reunion.

She was married with 3 kids and I am married with 2 kids.

She met a boy we last saw when we were 11, snogged him, told her DH the following week she wanted to split up, divorced him and is now engaged to the Junior School boy (who is now 37!) and is not fazed at all at her having 3 kids of 11, 9 and 5!!

I am still in about the whole thing.

Blimey Collision, i'd be too.

I agree that flings would be very bad for my self esteem, and in turn then bad for my kids as I would feel shite.

I am just not a fling person, never have been. I am not saying that I am looking for Mr Right and will not consider even dating anyone else as for starters, Mr Right doesn't exist.
I just mean that if 'fun' means being someones fuck buddy or sleeping with lots of different men then thats not me.

I think in my case, I am probably too picky and looking for something I will never find. I settled for what I could get last time and have vowed to never ever do it again , in which case I will probably be single for a very very long time yet.

i had lots of 'flings' when i split with my xh.i had 3 flings running concurrently at one point.i didnt really have any self-esteem to lose at that point though.

Well I only have flings because I just don't have the energy for a relationship atm. But it's never simple - someone always develops deeper feelings ime.

You are right to not settle for anything less than what you want CON

crackerofnuts has saved me the bother of adding anything as I agree with everything she says

mybrainaches, it's not often that someone agrees with everything I have said LOL.

How do I know if I am being too picky though ?>

I dont think there is any such thing as being to picky, no point in settling for something less then what you are looking for.........thats what I keep telling myself anyway

I also think if you meet someone who does'nt meet all the criteria you want, over time you could change your opinion and realise they are exactly what you want, who knows? I am rambling now so I will shut up

Agree that there is no point settling for less than what you are looking for. I looked around town after I split from ex H, and thought "I can see myself being single for a very long time!", as I had no interest in any of the men around.
I was happy to stay very single, and then I literally walked right into Mr Lovely, who I have now been with for 9 months!

I think if a guy likes a woman then he will date her whether she has 1 child or 6 children, a friend of mine had no problems meeting guys and she has 4 children, she actually ended up with her first love who she started dating at school.

Not all guys will pick a childless woman to date over a single parent, some guys prefer women with children as it shows maturity and responsibilty, some are put off with younger childless women as they sometimes find them clingy and demanding, I know a couple of players who played the field and finally settled down with single parents.

So, if you met someone through a dating website, would you be embarresed (sp) to tell people how you met? I have'nt btw, just curious

Well I met XP through CB radio. Always hated telling people because they always looked so gobsmacked.

my best friend was a divorced single mum of 3 when she met her DH (2nd DH that is).....they've since had 2 more children together.

Have to say when I was out on the town just over a week ago having a "look" to see what sort of talent there was in our town one of the first things I mentioned was that I had 3 kids......only 1 disappeared off to the bar and didn't return - the rest continued chatting/leering over me (including the bastard that turned round and casually mentioned that he was married with an 11yr old - and he OBVIOUSLY looking for a shag - I called him a bastard and slapped him round the face )

Have since seen someone I met on that night out 2 more times -probably just a fling but I'm not bothered right now LOL, and he's certainly doesn't seem bothered by the fact I have 3 DS's

Well I suppose there is hope, though there is no chance of me having any more children, so if I met someone he would have to feel the same way too.

i think it just depenmds who you meet to be honest so you will meet soemone and i woudlnt say you can say if it will be a fling however long on e of those is until, you have seen them for a while anyway so you just cant tell

exdp as with me 8 years and i had 3 kids he had none

bf has none and mine are grown up less aprobloem the kids than the fact that he will probably want some and we have a big age gap but who knows whether we are a fling or not..when does a fling become a relationship i have no idea never done this before me

I always hated the idea of flings, but they restore your confidence in your sexuality and boost your self esteem. I had two before I met my dp. They weren't serious but I didn't go into the relationships thinking 'one good shag and I'm out of here'. I went in with an open mind, seeing where it would lead, and in both cases it lead nowhere. But I learned from these.

Both relationships made me feel like I was still attractive. And more importantly, because I didn't throw myself in at the deep end, and I kept a very careful eye on the sort of people they were, I came out of both relationships thinking 'not only do I now know I'm attractive, I also know that I'm worth more than you are offering'.

Flings don't make you a loose woman. Honestly.

I have 5 DCs and was single from age 35-37. I found the best thing when out and about was to immediately tell any flirty men about my children. Say it loud and proud. Sometimes I would joke, keep away I've got 5 children, you know! But I think people are attracted to confidence and honesty. I had lots of fun and lots of dates and eventually met my fiance who's 10 years younger than me, no DCs, almost 6 years ago. We are getting married next year.

Agree absolutely modernart. Confidence is the sexiest trait. How do you think all these charming men score? It's because they're so confident.

Nutty. Don't mean to be critical, but you won't likely meet men at the cinema or at lunchtime. It just isn't the right time or place for people to be thinking of lurve.

Is there any way you can get a babysitter and a night out at the local with an outgoing friend? (Not the type who will sit in the corner moaning about DH and kids all night, but someone who is a sparkly flirt?)

What are you like when you go out at night? Are you a sparkly flirt? Or the shy type?

i think most men aren't bothered my the fact you have kids if they think it's just a bit of fun and nothing serious and its a go with the flow kind of relationship. some of them then back off when they sense it is starting to get a bit more serious cos they don't want the responsibility, but others don't cos they have fallen for you and they don't care. it seems a lot of men only get involved with someone with kids cos they think its a bit of fun that won't go anywhere so the having kids part doesn't really matter to them, then if things start to go further they think what the heck kids aren't as bad as i thought. if you go into a relationship acting like you definitely want something long term and serious you probably won't get very far (kids or no kids!) cos it will scare them away. there's nothing wrong with pretending like you aren't bothered with where it goes then them making them fall in love with you so they want to marry you!! anyway i'll shut up cos i'm rambling!!

ive about given up finding a woman who is prepared to take on 3 more kids. to make it worse, ive found women tell me i'll only attract single mums as women without kids wont be interested.
might have to wait for them all to leave and then start again - practice makes perfect and all that

awww singledadofthree - i dated someone with a baby before i had ds - didn't bother me one bit, but i've always loved kids and always known i've wanted a family so i guess it was a bonus for me.

I don't see why they think they have to take on the children. My dp really isn't a part of my family life. We do video nights and stuff together sometimes, and he comes to help around the house and garden, but most of the time I see him when the children are at their dad's. He has his own house and I have my house so we don't need to move in together etc.

I wouldn't want him to move in, there would be so much stress with him taking on my six children, the relationship would probably fall apart in a week.

because they think it won't stay like that. they think one day you will want something more serious and that they will become more involved - even though you say a million times you don't want that those that are a bit scared of "mature relationships" think you will.