Why are men so bitter about paying maintenance?

[bidoofisgod]

Just that really. Why do they get so resentful about paying for their kids and then expect us to be so grateful for getting their measly money whilst they complain about it?
I get £25 a month. And it's thrown in my face every time we speak, and then when I offer to help with childcare over half term as he has to work on days he has the kids (im a TA so will be off anyway) he says no because he doesn't want me using it to demand more money from him, and would rather pay someone else for childcare. How does that make any sense? All the while he's out living his life whilst I'm left with the kids and the dog which he wanted but now "can't have" and I have to shoulder the financial burden off.
All the same time whilst saying he doesn't want to divorce and wants us to work it out. Really selling yourself here and making yourself so attractive. Ffs

Sorry, rant over

None of these things are actually issues though.

He always stayed with either of his parents throughout his upbringing. Since the nursery change, he’s staying without his mum, which is going to be somewhat confusing for him.

Who knows how many nights this happens for? When would you question it?

For you yes.

I want my son to have the best change in life, so that’s school everyday and a consistent upbringing where they go home to their ‘normal’ environment?

is that too much to ask?

Have your son more overnight then.

Children do not legally need to be in any education setting til the term after they turn 5. So no, he doesn't "have" to go every single day.

Come on! Really?

Because for many ( not all by any means ) men , you are with them or you aren't - and that goes for any kids too

So you want him in nursery but begrudge your ex the 15 funded hours for him?

You can't insist your son is in his home environment every night-
if you have genuine concerns that he's sleeping on a sofa or in an unsafe environment on a regular basis you need to raise those with SS.

What?

The 15 hours was a statement to clarify that RP receives more assistance then portrayed.

It's so easy isn't, to say what a perfect parent should be doing when you aren't the one doing it day in day out.

You come along, at the weekend, do the fun shit and bash the mum for the effort she's putting in when you fail to do half.

‘Legally he doesn’t have to go to school until 5?’ What a throwaway comment.

Children need to be in nursery/school to learn the fundamentals of life especially if RP is receiving financial help for this…

We have identified that the ‘legal’ option isn’t always the best solution for a child. E.g. a man working as a ‘self employed’ contractor…

@Daddycool2024 you seem to think so little of your ex, it's hard to believe you were creating a baby with her only a few years ago... good enough to stick it in then wasn't she?

@Daddycool2024 mum won't get any "financial help" for nursery. It's paid directly to nursery.

I'm not sure if you're imply she's not sending him but keeping the money. It's not how the system works.

No, they don't "have" to. It's lovely if they are. I'm all for it. But at 2yo, missing the odd day of nursery isn't actually an issue. At all.

And genuinely, if you think your son is being neglected, as you seem to be insinuating all through this thread, you yourself are falling short by not doing anything at all to get residency.

We’ve identified that my son is with my ex 24hours longer than me in a week but suggest the burden is on her solely to raise our child?

Likewise, if she thought I was a waste, could have got a termination. Instead, here we are…

She has 5 overnights. You have 2. That's the split.

And your 24hours sum is meaningless if you then say she keeps him off nursery- it's then even more time with her isn't it.

Yeah but she's not on here bashing you is she?

She only went to CMS after we had an agreement in place. Hence why I replied to this thread…

Don’t deflect the comment. You were vocal about illness, things to buy for him etc, I’m still his parent and do ‘all of the above’

I don't understand what this point has to do with my comment.

You’ve suggested my actions are wrong for replying on here but instead my ex went to CMS after a 50/50 agreement we had for the shared custody of our child.

So your defence of it being in a public forum or not is irrelevant. I’m purely explaining how most men feel to help clarify our stance.

So she used the legal framework to seek maintenance for your shared child, and you just came online and bashed her. Seems equal.

I replied to the thread and provided clarity as to why men may feel ‘bitter’ and gave specifics on my scenario.

Never disclosed any sensitive data about my ex or my son!