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Original poster

Ex dies without paying maintenance arrears

168 replies

Bee2022 · 26/07/2022 11:20

Can anything be done if my childs father dies while still owing child maintenance arrears but has no money or assets too sell, he's been living on the streets for years and won't accept help or benefits

OP posts:
abblie · 26/07/2022 14:16

You ain't getting a penny

ClocksGoingBackwards · 26/07/2022 14:17

What makes you think that he will owe anything if he has no income?

Things like this are why your children get enough money from the government to live on if you need it for them without child maintenance being taken into account.

Bonheurdupasse · 26/07/2022 14:23

Jalisco · 26/07/2022 13:33

Are you reading the same thread that I am? You know, the one where the father is a destitute homeless person? And where a contributing factor to his mental ill health was probably his wife cheating on him, breaking up the family and then moving the other man in to the home they had shared? If the roles in that scenario were reversed, I am damned sure you'd have no sympathy with a cheating man who moved his girlfriend into the family home. And plenty for the poor homeless woman. Honestly, the hypocrisy on this site is appalling. Whatever a woman does is fine and dandy but men are always the perpetrator of all bad things, never the victims. How simple life would be if that were true.

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Completely agree with this. Literally aiming to get blood from a stone - this is the mentality that wouldn't care if a man was homeless once he paid up

Whatthefuck3456 · 26/07/2022 14:25

I can’t see a man making himself homeless just so he doesn’t pay you cm. It sounds like your money hungry, if my child’s father was living on the street and I had a home there would be no way I would even pressure him for money. Absolute vile!

NippyWoowoo · 26/07/2022 14:27

Sounds to me that he can't even pay while alive, so definitely can't do anything once dead

Bollindger · 26/07/2022 14:27

Your must have MAJOR mental health problems to be homeless.
I think you will find this will effect your children far more than the fact be is penniless.
Maybe you should speak to his parents and see if they can help him.
Honestly I think the fact your moaning about him not working to avoid paying you any money is very odd, and shows all you care about is yourself.

mam0918 · 26/07/2022 14:28

RedWingBoots · 26/07/2022 11:35

he's been living on the streets for years

You are worried about maintenance and not about having to explain to your child in the future that their dad was homeless?

You know one of those homeless men they see sleeping in shop doorways?

Don't you think it will screw up your child to know that?

OP I suggest you ask for this thread to be deleted.

you DONT see homeless people sleeping in doorways... you dont SEE homeless people at all.

I know because I was one for 3 years and our lives depend on staying OUT of sight and away from trouble and the elements. Its incredibly dangerous to sleep where you can be seen (thats why after serious cold spells etc... they find dead homeless people in the wierdest most hidden places).

You regularly see BEGGERS putting on a show in doorways in crowded areas, I have known many and NONE where homeless or even poor (on bebefits) but many where addicts of some sort (lots of alcoholics and a few on heavier drugs)... its an entirely different kettle of fish to homeless people.

TemperTrap · 26/07/2022 14:31

Bee2022 · 26/07/2022 11:20

Can anything be done if my childs father dies while still owing child maintenance arrears but has no money or assets too sell, he's been living on the streets for years and won't accept help or benefits

I'm confused about your question? If he had no assets what do you expect to happen? Are you expecting someone else to pay this?

If he had any money and didn't leave a will then his children would be the beneficiaries but it doesn't sound like that's the case here?

mam0918 · 26/07/2022 14:34

Bollindger · 26/07/2022 14:27

Your must have MAJOR mental health problems to be homeless.
I think you will find this will effect your children far more than the fact be is penniless.
Maybe you should speak to his parents and see if they can help him.
Honestly I think the fact your moaning about him not working to avoid paying you any money is very odd, and shows all you care about is yourself.

or a lack of access to help.

I was emmancipated at 16, by 16 no one cares... you are too young to claim benefits or help for adults, too young to work for a decent minimum wage, too old for them wasting their time on finding you a nice foster family and theres too many of us on charity wait list (was told at 16 to get pregnant or I wouldnt be high risk enough to get any help - I did not get pregnant and was homeless for 3 years).

I did luckily have many friends who would often take me in for a night here and there and being a young girl many strangers I met in pubs (open late and warm) would offer to let me crash at there which mean sleeping rough wasn't a daily thing but it did happen sometime - I assume its hard for grizzly older men who look more threatening.

decayingmatter · 26/07/2022 14:38

Summerslam · 26/07/2022 12:42

Pressed post too soon - I feel sorry for the child's father in all of this. It's an extreme reaction to go off grid in the way that he has. You have to accept some of it is due to your behaviour.

Don't be so ridiculous. The guy has autonomy, the same as the rest of us. Some of us have to keep going through adversity, you know, because we have kids to feed and responsibilities and all that. Lots of people get divorced and get cheated on. It doesn't absolve us of any responsibility for anything or anyone ever again. It's his fault he's homeless, there were a myriad of other options and choices he could have taken. How's he managed to make shit life choices, be a shit and neglectful dad, and you're feeling sorry for him, not the kids or the OP who is left to do absolutely all of the parenting because he can't be arsed?

My DC's dad is a useless, absent parent too and I would not extend my empathy to him under any circumstances. He's the guy who has deprived my DC of a father. I would care about my DC at least receiving nominal payments from him though, if nothing else.

Discovereads · 26/07/2022 14:39

mam0918 · 26/07/2022 14:34

or a lack of access to help.

I was emmancipated at 16, by 16 no one cares... you are too young to claim benefits or help for adults, too young to work for a decent minimum wage, too old for them wasting their time on finding you a nice foster family and theres too many of us on charity wait list (was told at 16 to get pregnant or I wouldnt be high risk enough to get any help - I did not get pregnant and was homeless for 3 years).

I did luckily have many friends who would often take me in for a night here and there and being a young girl many strangers I met in pubs (open late and warm) would offer to let me crash at there which mean sleeping rough wasn't a daily thing but it did happen sometime - I assume its hard for grizzly older men who look more threatening.

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Gosh. Really sobered at the 16yr old you thrown to the wolves and in complete admiration for how far you have come. 🌺

Johnnysgirl · 26/07/2022 14:41

It's his fault he's homeless, there were a myriad of other options and choices he could have taken
🙄

Namerchangerextraordinaire · 26/07/2022 14:45

No, when homeless penniless people die nobody will stump up some money for you because you wanted maintenance.

Get on with your own life & leave worrying you might be missing out on a fiver here & there behind.

He might be horrid, but if you'd ever spent one genuine night on the streets you'd know nobody stays there by choice without serious mental health issues.

Are you living some fantasy where he has a life insurance policy that will pay out to you?
If he ever had one, he won't be making the payments any more so it will be gone.

Why are you thinking about his death?
Is he dying?
If not, why is your mind going there?

Bigmouthshouthotair · 26/07/2022 14:48

decayingmatter · 26/07/2022 14:38

Don't be so ridiculous. The guy has autonomy, the same as the rest of us. Some of us have to keep going through adversity, you know, because we have kids to feed and responsibilities and all that. Lots of people get divorced and get cheated on. It doesn't absolve us of any responsibility for anything or anyone ever again. It's his fault he's homeless, there were a myriad of other options and choices he could have taken. How's he managed to make shit life choices, be a shit and neglectful dad, and you're feeling sorry for him, not the kids or the OP who is left to do absolutely all of the parenting because he can't be arsed?

My DC's dad is a useless, absent parent too and I would not extend my empathy to him under any circumstances. He's the guy who has deprived my DC of a father. I would care about my DC at least receiving nominal payments from him though, if nothing else.

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You obviously missed the bit where OP was screwing behind his back and then moved said main in to in her words 'replace him as a father'.

My empathy certainly isn't with OP and her fuck buddy and nor would thd majority of peoples.

AprilRae91 · 26/07/2022 14:49

Who do you want the money from? The government?

CallOnMe · 26/07/2022 14:50

It's his fault he's homeless, there were a myriad of other options and choices he could have taken

Like what exactly??

The majority of the population are one or two pay checks away from homelessness.

What do you think happens to kids in care when they turn 18?
They don’t have the bank of mum and dad to fall back on or even a sofa to sleep on for a couple of nights.

If an adult gets kicked out of their partners home where do you think they go?

If you have no home you have no address, if you have no address you can’t get any benefits or income, if you have no benefits or income you can’t find somewhere to live.

Check your privilege and realise not everyone is as fortunate as you are and that you are in the minority.

anon2334 · 26/07/2022 14:51

Bigmouthshouthotair · 26/07/2022 14:48

You obviously missed the bit where OP was screwing behind his back and then moved said main in to in her words 'replace him as a father'.

My empathy certainly isn't with OP and her fuck buddy and nor would thd majority of peoples.

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Thats is what i read. Utterly bitch. Sorry but she is.

CombatBarbie · 26/07/2022 14:52

I'm confused, if there's no assets where is the arrears going to come from?

ohdannyboy · 26/07/2022 14:56

Poor chap - what has he been driven to ! Yes he has responsibilities - but he is a rock bottom. There are a lot worse than him about

hybridoaties · 26/07/2022 14:56

My ex owes £20.000 on maintenance and I received a letter a couple of years ago saying they are writing it off because they have no way to make him pay. The kids are still 10&15 and I've never received a penny. Move on, I know it is frustrating but if the man has been living on the streets he's clearly not in a position to pay anyway. I'm sorry about your situation but when your kids are grown you can be proud you did that by yourself.

SofiaSoFar · 26/07/2022 15:06

Bigmouthshouthotair · 26/07/2022 13:41

RTFT he isn't dead!

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She just wishes he was, it seems.

MissMaple82 · 26/07/2022 15:06

What the bloody hell do you expect to be done????

uncomfortablydumb53 · 26/07/2022 15:10

Poor man.. I doubt if he purposely chose to live on the streets to avoid paying maintenance!!! Come on, how heartless are you
This must be giving you way too much headspace to post here( if it's real)
If he sadly dies on the street, he is likely to receive a pauper's funeral if no family step in
You will be entitled to nothing, if he dies with nothing

SofiaSoFar · 26/07/2022 15:10

Bee2022 · 26/07/2022 11:47

Just the way he is, I'm ashamed to say this but the situation is partially my fault I fell out of love with him but I started seeing someone else before he left me and he see me as betraying him and that I chose to take the child away from him and replace him as the father

You should have been the one left homeless.

You should have moved out and he could have stayed and looked after, and provided for, the kids.

I can't begin to imagine what losing everything you have due to someone else's cheating must be like. Poor man.

KittyCatsby · 26/07/2022 15:12

Surely you can only get nothing from a person who has nothing.