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Original poster

Ex dies without paying maintenance arrears

168 replies

Bee2022 · 26/07/2022 11:20

Can anything be done if my childs father dies while still owing child maintenance arrears but has no money or assets too sell, he's been living on the streets for years and won't accept help or benefits

OP posts:
SolasAnla · 26/07/2022 11:54

Geordielass1987 · 26/07/2022 11:28

Wow so the children have lost a father but you want to chase child maintenance arrears. I understand the frustration but really?

Its a debt the same as owing on a car/house loan or having to pay off the electrical company.

In the Ops case it is money owed to their children not her.
If there is a contractual agreement in place there is a debt to be recovered.

If the dead person has assets why should the children not be paid what they are owed before anybody (or even the children) are given a portion of their fathers estate part of which he had because he did not pay for his children upkeep.

In this instance its very unlikely thay the OP's Ex is hiding any assets so there is nothing to pay back debts with.

IncompleteSenten · 26/07/2022 11:55

What do you think could be done?

SuperCamp · 26/07/2022 11:55

Well, it’s a very sad situation overall.

But it was his choice as a father to deal with the relationship break up by slipping into poverty and homelessness and not seeking help for his emotional reaction.

If he does claim benefits he won’t get extra for paying maintenance to you, so not sure how that will help. If he doesn’t have income or substantial savings he can’t pay maintenance, if he has no assets he can’t leave the kids anything.

Tough, but not sure what other answer there would be?

ohdannyboy · 26/07/2022 12:07

It's a no win situation - so sad a human being chooses to be homeless over paying for his children - but you cannot get blood out of a stone.

notanothertakeaway · 26/07/2022 12:08

Soonberaining · 26/07/2022 11:28

Nothing can be done. If he has any assets and he has died intestate, then his child/children will inherit. There's no mechanism for claiming unpaid maintenance.

@Soonberaining I would think outstanding child maintenance would be a debt, payable from his estate. Any estate left over after debts have been paid would go to beneficiaries (most likely children, or perhaps OP if still married)

But if he dies without any assets, then this is all academic anyway

Cantstandbullshit · 26/07/2022 12:13

Bee2022 · 26/07/2022 11:20

Can anything be done if my childs father dies while still owing child maintenance arrears but has no money or assets too sell, he's been living on the streets for years and won't accept help or benefits

If as you say he has been living on the streets for years, why are you still hoping or planning to get payments from him? It’s been a write off for a years hasn’t it?

Soonberaining · 26/07/2022 12:20

@notanothertakeaway I didn’t get any maintenance owing when my ex died. It was £5.20 a week, but he claimed he couldn’t afford it, so built up over the years. Quite honestly, it wasn’t worth the bother.

notanothertakeaway · 26/07/2022 12:23

Soonberaining · 26/07/2022 12:20

@notanothertakeaway I didn’t get any maintenance owing when my ex died. It was £5.20 a week, but he claimed he couldn’t afford it, so built up over the years. Quite honestly, it wasn’t worth the bother.

@Soonberaining Yes I can understand that it may not feel like it's worth the bother. That's a real pity

I was just pointing out that "If he has any assets and he has died intestate, then his child/children will inherit" is not correct

djdkdkddkek · 26/07/2022 12:26

bloody hell you are cold as ice

left him for someone else
he’s now homeless
and you’re like, hey he might die before paying me

youce actually said very little about your kids. How do they feel having a dad they can’t stay with because he has no actual home? And you’re like… wow where’s my money?

bloody hell

CallOnMe · 26/07/2022 12:27

If he has no income then he will not have to pay maintenance.

It doesn’t matter whether or not he owes money.
You can take him to court but even if you win you’ll get nothing or next to nothing - you can’t physically take what’s not there.

If I cheated and left my partner then I would not expect maintenance payments especially if they had barely any income for themselves.

How often does he see his child?

Nimo12 · 26/07/2022 12:29

I think just forget about the money in this situation. I doubt very much that he is living on the streets just to avoid paying what he owes. If he has nothing,what is it you think could be done?

MercurialMonday · 26/07/2022 12:32

So you think he’s living on the streets and not claiming any benefit money just to avoid you getting £7 a week of his benefits money?

IL had a friend who ex got a well paid job just as she lost hers and was looking for another and everyone told her to claim she insisted he'd quit and get rid of all assets - everyone told her she was being silly of course he wouldn't for such a small amount. He did quit job and ended up doing cash in hand and sofa surfing for years to avoid paying anything. Everyone was shocked - though friend was like yep thought he'd do that.

He also did the make sure kids are ready and not turning up thing- unsurprisingly kids now want nothing to do with him and he has a she turned them against me sob story.

I don't think OP you or your kids will see a penny unless something changes.

AnneLovesGilbert · 26/07/2022 12:35

This is most peculiar.

BlanketsBanned · 26/07/2022 12:41

If he is homeless and claims no benefits then no one will be able to trace him whilst he is alive and you cannot get money from a dead person.

Summerslam · 26/07/2022 12:41

So you cheated on your husband, moved another man into the family home, and his reaction was to

AquaticSewingMachine · 26/07/2022 12:42

Frankly, there are much easier ways to pay zero maintenance than to make yourself street homeless. I would very much doubt he is voluntarily homeless and penniless purely to avoid maintenance - I'd expect he has a drug or alcohol problem.

At any rate. You know the saying about how you can't get blood out of a stone? Yeah.

Summerslam · 26/07/2022 12:42

Pressed post too soon - I feel sorry for the child's father in all of this. It's an extreme reaction to go off grid in the way that he has. You have to accept some of it is due to your behaviour.

butterpuffed · 26/07/2022 12:42

Hotenoughtoburnasausage · 26/07/2022 11:48

Tbh I would be too busy celebrating (quietly) to give a jot....

😮

SunshineAndFizz · 26/07/2022 12:46

OP you need to write this money off and move on.

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 26/07/2022 12:49

This reply has been deleted

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corlan · 26/07/2022 12:49

he's still alive at the moment but is doing everything he can to avoid paying arrears including not claiming benefits and living on the streets and giving everything he owned away long ago

See that just doesn't make sense. My XP and an awful lot of men get away with paying peanuts by lying about their income. CMS do bugger all about it.
Lots of men lead very comfortable lives and don't support their children.

CallOnMe · 26/07/2022 12:50

I feel sympathy for him in this situation.
None for you. You sound like a bitch tbh.

If this is real then I agree.

Jalisco · 26/07/2022 12:53

Bee2022 · 26/07/2022 11:37

Sorry my fault I wrote this in a hurry and forgot start with if it happens, he's still alive at the moment but is doing everything he can to avoid paying arrears including not claiming benefits and living on the streets and giving everything he owned away long ago

You genuinely think that someone would actually do this just to spite you out of a pittance every week? Nobody, but nobody, takes to the streets with nothing unless they are severely ill, mentally, physically or both. Being homeless is soul destroying and pitiful; and it is dangerous in the extreme. You clearly know nothing about homelessness if you think anyone willing opts for it. I can't believe how hard-faced you must be to actually be trying to find ways to get money from someone who has none and who is clearly, by any standards, ill - and after they die!

I do hope that you don't talk to the children about their father like this. When they get older there is a real possibility they will grow up with a soul and some compassion for others, and it would be horrible for them to see you as the person that you come across as here. Bad enough to know how desperate and ill their father was.

I generally hate that so many men get away with paying noting or next to nothing for their children's support, but this is a father to be pitied, not pilloried.

maranella · 26/07/2022 12:54

Post reported. I've seen some unpleasant things in my time on MN, but this is horrendous!

dworky · 26/07/2022 13:01

Geordielass1987 · 26/07/2022 11:28

Wow so the children have lost a father but you want to chase child maintenance arrears. I understand the frustration but really?

A shit, neglectful father if he hasn't paid for the upkeep of his children.