prevent children from relocating abroad with the other parent

[reallywanttohelp]

NC for this thread.

A (male) friend of mine had a brief and unhappy marriage (now divorced for a couple of years) and two children from it. The mother of the children is originally not from the UK and had asked the family court for a permission to relocate with their children back to her own country (non EU, not English speaking, and very underdeveloped).

His children are his life (without any exaggeration, he is talking about them all the time), he sees them almost every week, and has a very close and loving relationship. They go on the day trips, to zoos, parks and museums, and are really happy together. He also plans to apply for at least a 50/50 custody once they are a little bit older and the court takes their views into account.

He will have a direct access barrister representing him during the process (which will cost him all his savings), but he is currently retraining for a new career and does not earn anything so cannot afford a solicitor on a day-to-day basis. The mother has a professional job (they met through work) and is reasonably well-off, it is not the case that she struggles in any way - a homeowner, has a cleaner / nanny / dog walker, able to afford nursery fees etc.

He asked me to help with all possible arguments why the children should not be relocating abroad (they spent almost their life in the UK, despite being born in that country). Not from the legal perspective, it will be the barrister's job to convert them into the statement for the court, but rather from the children's perspective. He is very distraught now and not thinking straight, this application was a complete surprise for him.

@angell84
But it’s not the same as a Grandmother v grandfather. They don’t have a direct responsibility to the children’s well-being etc.
A mother does and a father does.
My ex hasn’t bothered to see his sons in 12 years. I won permission to leave uk with my children but I didn’t go in the end. Weirdly, although my ex tried to fight my case, and despite knowing I’m still in uk, he hasn’t bothered to even send a card, a text, nothing at all. My ex does not reflect all dads obviously, however I still disagree with you.
Eg. A dad visits kids once a week for the day and takes kids swimming. According to you, as long as dad loves kids, this is all that matters. If this is the case, what happens if mum takes the same view. Can’t be arsed to bother with kids, no washing, school runs, childcare, cooking, cleaning, emotional support, shopping, bathing, medical appointments.....so mum just goes away, does her own thing and pops back on a Sunday saying ‘I really love you kids. I’ve missed you all week, let’s go to the movies. It’s neglect. The children would be removed from her care.
My point. A father should parent his children equally. If mother doesn’t allow, then father should go to court to access this for the benefit of his children. He has a responsibility.
Blimey, we don’t get dogs and just give them food and a walk once a week and can’t be bothered the rest of the time.
You want equal rights for dads? Dads can leave the country and move away without any court case needed, or with no consideration to his children and their feelings, leaving the mum to do everything alone.
Having said all this, there are plenty of dads raising the children and the mother does little in terms of parenting.

No court witholds child contact with father without very good reason. The start point is 50/50, its not something a father has to fight for, it is assumed, unless there are sufficient concerns or the father doesn't want 50/50 (oh well it just wouldn't work for him )

In other words, OP, your friend chooses his lack of interaction with his own dc to be blunt.

He doesn't add to their daily lives in any way. Its harmful for dc when a father teaches them that men are all about money and nothing else (and then moan all theynkids see them as is a money machine)

Its also not fair on all the image of all the other father's who do demonstrate their care for their dc by being properly involved.

"His kids are his life he sees them almost every week"

From Downton Abbey: "I thought you'd be the kind of mother who just saw her children for an hour a day?

"Yes, but it was an hour every day"

My dh has dc from a previous relationship . They are all adults now but years back he had to get an airport ban on their passports( not sure of the correct word) to stop his ex removing them from the country. That shared custody but the mum was an absolute witch.