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Is it normal to feel really horrible when you find out your ex is with someone else?

165 replies

Pinkchampagne · 24/06/2007 00:22

I know it shouldn't be a big deal, but it feels awful.

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glitterfairy · 01/07/2007 10:21

Glad you are feeling more positive PC.

My X has told my ds that the ring will come off when they cut it off his dead finger. My counsellor at womens aid says it is measure of his wish to retain control over me and our relationship. She says it is further evidence of his abusive nature. He is welcome to it.

Pinkchampagne · 01/07/2007 10:30

How ridiculous - what an idiot!!

I wonder why my ex still wears his, seen as mine came off long ago, but then it may actually be stuck on his finger!!

I went out last night in town & I saw the barmaid he is knocking off.
I just got on with my night as normal, but she was obviously very uncomfortable & kept her head down everytime she saw me!
I have taken the advice of Dino & am trying to rise above it all. I quite enjoyed it actually!!

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Blu · 01/07/2007 10:32

Oooh, good for you PC!

glitterfairy · 01/07/2007 10:35

Good for you. You didnt want him PC and whilst it hurts he is only attending to one thing in the selfish way we have all come to expect from him.

My X moved into his new gfs straight away and had a full on relationship and whilst it may now be great I know it was only because he wanted to be in a house somewhere near by and was really nothing to do with any feelings he had.

Whatever our Xs have done to us we are both safe in the knowledge that we were the strong ones who made the choice to live a better life and to take control right back from a place of fear. We have stood by our kids and sorted our heads out in a way that they will never be able to. We are the better people and I feel sorry for them.

Pinkchampagne · 01/07/2007 10:50

I was thinking that last night, GF. He is showing himself to be very weak in all this, and I do kind of pity him really.
He has told me he will never get into another relationship, but that he will have the odd shag here & there...pathetic!

For some reason his barmaid friend avoided serving me last night!!

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Pinkchampagne · 01/07/2007 10:55

Not sure how sorted my head is, but I know I have been stronger than him in all this!

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glitterfairy · 01/07/2007 15:37

Of course you have. I guess we tend to put our kids first and what is best for our families as a whole rather than ourselves. I was speaking to mine today about it all and saying daddy has another point of view here which wouldnt agree with mine. I bet he never ever says anything of the sort to them. AS they pointed out he has never ever thought of what would affect them or how hurt they were by his violence, temper or adulterous behaviour.

Pinkchampagne · 01/07/2007 19:09

Awful isn't it GF?

Your children are very lucky to have such a great mum though.

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glitterfairy · 02/07/2007 07:30

Yep but in the end men who behave like this lose out big time. I would rather be on my own wiht the kids and have their respect and regard than be him with his girlfriend any day of the week.

I have no idea how he lives with what he has done except for lying about it and thinking it is really all to do with me. Again I would rather live in my reality than his.

I expect that however hard you would rather be you.

Pinkchampagne · 02/07/2007 17:01

Too right, GF!

However, my boys seem to idolise daddy atm, and they only play me up, not him.

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glitterfairy · 03/07/2007 08:12

Forced myself to speak to my X tonight (first time in well over two years) as my youngest dd was so rude to him and cruel saying she did not want to see him again on the phone. My human element took over and I phoned to say I would sort it out only to get the usual threat of court and its all my fault stuff. I pointed out that I ahd made an effort to actually phone and say I would sort it instead of email as I realised how out of order it was and to say it was a blip as well but I may as wel have been talking to myself. I wont do that again then just soldier on in silence.

the kids were so awe struck that I had done it and proud of me and dd was mortified by her behaviour and cried.

Pinkchampagne · 03/07/2007 20:12

Oh GF, I am so sorry you are still getting crap from your ex. Sounds like he will turn anything round so that he can pin the blame on you, but your children can clearly see that you are a total star & a top mum!

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Pinkchampagne · 03/07/2007 20:38

I think my poor DS may be a bit depressed, and I feel so guilty.

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Pinkchampagne · 03/07/2007 21:05

I am very tearful. What have we done to those boys?

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glitterfairy · 04/07/2007 09:26

They will get over it PC hoestly as you have really workd so hard to make things as normal as possible for them.

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