Number 2 Thread When You Are Fed Up With The Solitary Burden Of Single Parentdom

[Solo]

Happy New Year and Happy New Thread to all the single parents looking for a place to rant, rave, moan, share the highs and the lows and chat with people that know! It is the second thread and probably a slow one if the first is anything to go by, but it's here when we need it.

LINK TO THE FIRST THREAD

They need to confirm either way don't they. Good call choosing Cornwall, whereabouts?

I've got a day off this week so I'm only at work for two days. It's nice to have bit of time to get my bearings. Half term is already booked off, unpaid but saves the hassle and expense of childcare.

They do meglet and I can't remember!! But not far from the coastline I think.

Enjoy your extra time off!

Talking about holidays, how do you find them as a LP? I have booked a cottage in Norfolk for a week in the summer and am now thinking it was a bit ambitious

I usually go on holiday with a group. It's a bit mad... but many hands make light work; we take it in turns to look after the kids.

I have been on holiday with just with me and DD. It was good, but I did feel quite lonely in the evenings. It's sad how many people won't befriend you when you're on your own. I gave up trying to chat to other families... made some good memories though and DD still talks about our holiday 18 months later 😀

Twirlypoo how is your trip going? I hope you're well into your second glass of wine by now 😀

I took dc away on my own without friends last year and the evenings were really boring. Plus everyone's in their own group so I took loads of books for the evenings when the kids entertainment was on.

I've booked another week away in a caravan in Devon. I probably will be bored by myself in the evening but the kids will enjoy it and I plan to only do thr entertainment once of twice. Loads of beach days and coastal walks to wear them out plus we have a NT pass so hopefully they'll be to tired to want to go to the club house!

Hello! I haven't read the whole thread yet but would love to join in the chat?
I have one dd (6yrs) and b/g twins age 4. I've been a single parent pretty much since the twins were born. He moved out when they were 1 but we were over from when they were 10weeks old. I'm having a DIY new year so far - which I've been enjoying until just now had a revelation that no wonder I'm throwing myself into DIY cos it's my world - I never get out of the house! In order to 'do something different' I have to do something different around the house as this is where I am so therefore tester pots are me!! This thread seems lovely

I have had a couple of holidays/weekends away just me and the kids. I have to admit that I really don't like it :( . Had several holidays away with my mum, uncle and his Dd and grandchildren. The first two were good, but the last one in 2013 was not good as it was mum, uncle and a different grandson (gs for the first week) and he was just horribly selfish and then my Ds wound my uncle up so he left 4 days early and has refused to go away with us since. I really don't like going away just Mum and Dc's because I find Mum's company too much and I'm stuck between a youngster of 9, a teen 17 (will be 18 for next hol) and a mid 70's mum. I'll be 52...But I know that going away with just my two will be a fortnight of fighting. Thought that taking my brother and sil would also ease my life a bit, make it a bit more exciting. I need another lp...
I could go to Norfolk and visit a friend and her family. We went to Hermanus 4 years ago which was lovely, but there were 8 of us. I just find holidays so lonely :(
We should all arrange a joint holiday where we all meet up, staying in the same place but separate iyswim and then we could all have some fun together!

Yes, Twirlypoo how's it going?

And welcome Dipsy come join in :)

Waving at you Dipsy as I have an 8 year old DS and b/g twins age 5. Your comments about never getting out of the house certainly ring true for me. I'm working from home most of this week so am feeling it more than ever.

Solo I am with you on not really enjoying holidays away when it's just me and the kids. Last year I took them abroad and stayed with a friend and her DH which was nice as it meant there were other adults there to give the kids attention (always a bonus with 3 DCs) plus adult company for me. Another lone parent friend used to go on holiday with other lps she met through an informal online group set up for just that purpose. There are a few holiday companies specialising in trips for lps but from what I can see they are pretty expensive.

I am still struggling with weekends alone with the DCs. I always have stuff planned out of the house but the times we are at home just seem to disintegrate into arguing and making a mess of the place. Last weekend I seemed to spend every minute either preparing food, clearing up after a meal or tidying up. It was a bit depressing tbh.

angelika, solo et al, I hear you on the weekends and holidays. Being a single parent is suddenly like living in Opposite World, where everything that used to exist for relaxing or fun is suddenly hard work and extra stress. I still have this reflex on Friday nights where I think "ahh, time to chill, kick back, drink wine etc" but actually, if I don't have a bazillion activities planned for the weekend then the weekend will descend into squabbles, mess and chaos. I was so relieved to get back to work after Christmas and New Year as it meant I could get help with the kids and some time away from them.

Anyway, yes, I fear it is me who uses this thread solely for ranting, so sorry about that. I just like to feel that I can complain in a space where my listeners might understand. People without kids don't understand; people who aren't single parents don't understand; and the only other single parents I know only have one kid each so I feel that they don't quite get it either. Waaaa, poor me, world's tiniest violin etc.

I take DD away on my own, to the same caravan site in Cornwall every year for a couple of weekends away, usually booked through The Sun holidays. I have also been away for a week with my parents, in a caravan in Dorset and another time in Cornwall. If my parents come with us then they pay for half of the cost. But obviously changes the whole dimension of the holiday.

I choose caravan parks so that we have a playground, swimming pool and entertainment. DD gets lonely as an only child, so loves making friends on holiday.

When XH was around we used to travel all over the country but I don't do motorway driving, so am more limited now. It is something that I miss. As DD gets older I would like to visit some places by train. But at the moment, while she is such hard work, I have to limit where I go, as I always end up in tears due to her behaviour. Sad but true.

Hello!

Sorry I am just reporting back - I had no signal at the hotel (bliss!) and was in meetings during the day.

We survived! It was actually brilliant (I know you all said it would be, but I was so worried!) Ds had a great time with my mum, and I have slept.... I had a bath with a glass of wine, I have just had the luxury of peeing alone for 2 whole days. It's been amazing! I got home a few hours ago and suspect my little cling bot will be back in my bed within an hour, but I feel so refreshed. Thank you all for being so lovely about it. It was the kick up the bum I needed!

As for holidays. I'm a member of single parent holidays on facebook and i really recommend it. They vary from full on sharing accommodation to just meeting up with others who happen to be at butlins / blackpool / Spain's eurocamp at same time as you. If you look for them on fb, it gives you instructions on how to join (you have to send a quick few sentences about how many kids you have etc, to make it harder for trolls to get in!) it's good for ideas of lone parent friendly places to go as well - I spend a lot of time scrolling through the events just to see where I might like to go next!

Anyway, thank you again for all being so lovely. How are you all getting on? What happened about the cottage solo did you get an answer over how many were coming on holiday yet?

Thanks for the holiday recommendation Twirly, I will check it out.

Could you post the link to the group please Twirly.

Sure, it is this group (hope it works!) once you have sent them a message on this page, they invite you to the closed group which has everyones holidays up (the security is quite tight on the group for obvious reasons) there are all different kinda of breaks from cruises to treks to what every else, and a full range of kids ages. I love it on there :)

Warm :) No!! Please rant away if you need or want to; I was only making a point that it's talk about anything thread. It is good to talk to like minded lone parents :) thanks so much for joining in

Not sorted a cottage yet. Get the feeling it'll just be me, mum and the Dc's...

So glad it all worked out twirlypoo.

I'm still away... DDS dad picked her up this morning... made her cry! Shouting at her about something irrelevant (so glad I kicked the cocklodger out). Made leaving much harder than it needed to be. Spoke to DD before bed. She is with friend overnight. She was fine. Delighted to hear from me (he doesn't allow phone calls when she's with him).
Miss her like mad. But must admit hotel room is fab 😊
Do let us know about lp fb site...
Good night all. Wow. I drank a lot of brandy tonight...

Warm... rant away... that's what this thread is for ☺

twirly glad your trip was ok. Was it continental or cooked breakfasts? (V.important ).

anj I do the same, start weekends optimistic and by Saturday afternoon I'm counting the hours until Monday at 9am.

Brrr! It's cold!

You are right solo, and our heating is on the blink too.

How is everyone doing?

Oh no! Poor you Isabella :( I hope you can get it sorted soon. Will it cost much to do?

Good morning! I thought I'd log in to share a single parenting win.

Am working almost full-time at the moment, which means the only day I do school pick-up is Thursday. I collect the kids from school (with roller skates and a pogo stick in the boot of the car!) and we skate / pogo to the leisure centre where the children exhaust themselves for an hour at their trampolining class. Then we head home. Thursday is the day when our recipe box arrives (decadent I know, but I am useless at menu planning and so so tired of supermarket shopping) and the kids choose which recipe to cook. Because they've helped cook the dinner they are far more engaged with the whole process of cooking the meal, laying the table and consuming what we've made. And then they're so exhausted from the trampolining / roller skating / pogo-sticking that they collapse into bed with no argument.

And then I have a . Hurrah!

Sorry to hear about your heating isabella. And solo, thanks for your sterling work in keeping the thread flowing.

Warm you are a great Mum :)

That sounds like a fantastic evening warm

The heating is temperamental and has been since we moved in just under a year ago. I hate this house and never wanted to move, luckily in 3 months I will be out of here and my Ex can have it back, crappy heating, leaking roof and all!