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Original poster

Number 2 Thread When You Are Fed Up With The Solitary Burden Of Single Parentdom

988 replies

Solo · 01/01/2016 15:12

Happy New Year and Happy New Thread to all the single parents looking for a place to rant, rave, moan, share the highs and the lows and chat with people that know! It is the second thread and probably a slow one if the first is anything to go by, but it's here when we need it.

LINK TO THE FIRST THREAD

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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Original poster
Solo · 23/02/2017 08:37

*yes

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megletthesecond · 23/02/2017 23:11

polly my bulbs are coming up 🌿.

I don't do winter. It seems to get harder as I get older. No wonder people retire to the sun.

Original poster
Solo · 23/02/2017 23:26

Oooh! I agree! I hate the cold, but strangely have found it less uncomfortable with menopause! Would still prefer the early summer type of weather though :)

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PollyPelargonium52 · 24/02/2017 10:39

Thanks Solo can't complain as they say. Or I could but fail to see the point as it won't change diddly squat ha ha. :)

Nice to see some bulbs too Meglet my God I do sound middle aged innit. Hang on a minute I AM middle aged!!

Original poster
Solo · 24/02/2017 11:12

I get things through the post for 'seniors' these days Shock! I mean OUCH!!!! That hurts!!

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PollyPelargonium52 · 24/02/2017 14:31

They are just being ageist and trying to flog things. It is all about money!

If sixties is the new forties surely our seventies should be the new fifties and we aren't over the hill as yet?? Another 17 years ago before I am 70.

We hope! :)

Original poster
Solo · 25/02/2017 01:28

Me too! Will be 53 in a matter of weeks!

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PollyPelargonium52 · 25/02/2017 05:50

I am 54 in November. Not good right. Also the market sucks so even if I did start hankering for a bloke (and luckily I have more sense than to do so lol) there is not much out there. Sorry to say it but most men are weak and cannot cope or last on their own whereas us single parents 95 per cent of whom are female stay strong no matter what.

My ex is moving back up to this part of the country luckily he is penniless so has no money to come and bother us and he is going on benefits but he is 63 in August and odds on won't get much work. He is bringing up his 6 year old by his recent ex. She has given up looking after their son years ago. Nevertheless the ex claims that it was all my fault that he hit our boy when he was 9 and it was nothing to do with him. This is not looking good and his attitude sucks. I will not let him have him on his own again. He put marks on our boy's back and face on 3 occasions and pushed him onto busy streets in London a few years ago. Social Services and school were informed. He knows this and still he harps on expecting me to let him go and visit where he lives. I made this clear 2 - 3 years ago no more of his neighbourhood. I have decided that as soon as he stops paying maintenance to wash my hands of him entirely and to not even bother texting. He is nothing but bad news and has ground me down to a pulp on many occasions as I have no family support so sometimes I used to cling on to his 'help' now I have more sense.

Sorry to bang on ladies. Luckily he will move to Jamaica permanently two years this autumn once he gets his state pension then I can resume visits to London with my boy's siblings etc. Hope you all have a good weekend. :)

Original poster
Solo · 26/02/2017 02:40

Flowers (((hugs))). Men. Pah!

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megletthesecond · 27/02/2017 21:24

Crikey polly don't usually want to wish away time but here's to those two years passing and your xp moving far away.

PollyPelargonium52 · 28/02/2017 09:51

Thanks Meglet yes indeed only 2 and half years. His other grown up children are normal and my boy likes them they all live in London so I like to keep the link going somehow. I think he will be largely skint when he moves back so won't have money to make trouble and his boy will be setttling in a new school etc. Still bit horrid for me though. :(

Original poster
Solo · 03/03/2017 00:33

It's official! My son hates me. he'd "rather die than talk to me" and I have no idea what I've done to him and he "won't explain himself to me" iyswim. I'm really upset.

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megletthesecond · 03/03/2017 14:10

Oh solo ((hugs)). Was there an argument yesterday?

Original poster
Solo · 03/03/2017 14:35

No, no argument at all. I hadn't heard from him for more than 2 weeks, sent him a text enquiring his health, work okay and no answer. Saw him on fb and asked the same and that was what I got. I genuinely have no idea why and he won't explain himself to me. It's horrible and I'm worried about him.

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PollyPelargonium52 · 05/03/2017 08:02

Sorry to hear Solo is he having a phase with his moods maybe eh.

Original poster
Solo · 05/03/2017 11:00

Thank you. I don't know what is going on with him...it worries me though.

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Foslady · 06/03/2017 16:03

Is it worth contacting his friend, see if he has any idea? Could he not be taking his meds? So sorry you're going through this Solo

Original poster
Solo · 07/03/2017 00:46

Yes, I will try to talk to his friend, but I'm not sure if his friend has told him we talked about him and that is the crux of the matter :( He isn't taking any medication Fos and never has.

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PollyPelargonium52 · 09/03/2017 06:12

www.reactoolkit.co.uk and/or mind website can help you Solo on where to go from here. Apologies if you have already looked into this.

It must be really hard to know what to do for the best as a parent but those sites give suggestions.

Original poster
Solo · 09/03/2017 10:55

Thank you Flowers I will look at that tonight. Thanks

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PollyPelargonium52 · 09/03/2017 14:08

No prob.

megletthesecond · 12/03/2017 16:15

Hi all, hope everyone is ok today. I'm budgeting. Um, yay Hmm.

School dinners, trips and food in general is going up so I've forced myself to get my act together now. May as well make a miserable Sunday productive 💷.

PollyPelargonium52 · 13/03/2017 06:17

At least you felt motivated Meglet good for you.

megletthesecond · 13/03/2017 14:41

Yes. I was dragging myself through my low mood, didn't cheer me up but it was good to get it done. Sundays are hard going.

Original poster
Solo · 15/03/2017 22:49

Spoke with Ds this evening after I talked to mum today and told her I'm depressed, can't sleep and want to know what I've done to Ds. She got him to call me and we had a long conversation, stilted at the start, but got a little easier. He said I haven't done anything to him, that he wants me to leave him alone, that he loves me but doesn't like me (the feeling is often mutual). I said that I'd like at least a text a week in contact...not sure I'll get it, but I will try. This is so hard and it has got me really down :(

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