Number 2 Thread When You Are Fed Up With The Solitary Burden Of Single Parentdom

[Solo]

Happy New Year and Happy New Thread to all the single parents looking for a place to rant, rave, moan, share the highs and the lows and chat with people that know! It is the second thread and probably a slow one if the first is anything to go by, but it's here when we need it.

LINK TO THE FIRST THREAD

ChangeyWangey try to find women in the neighbourhood/work who have children similar age wherever possible to share the behavioural issues. That is what i find helps me anyway. Luckily I know two of similar age to ds and although I doubt any social life would come out of knowing them much it is at least some requisiste shared opinion feedback and understanding. I also have two friends in the south who I regularly keep in contact with who have similar age children. It all helps for moral support chat even if it is just an email/text/phone call.

I'll try and catch up shall I
.

changey my life seems to revolve around trying to get 10yr old DS to do what he's meant to do and bribing him with his tablet. Or confiscating it for dreadful behaviour. It's exhausting and I lose track of when he's allowed it and where I've even hidden the damn thing.

I've recently realised I'm probably halfway through having kids at home. 10 yrs in and another 10yrs until dd can go to uni. Sometimes I feel like I really am wishing life away. Mainly because I'm still tied to the house while they're primary age. Maybe I'll have a social life once they start secondary school and I can pop out on my own. Hopefully!

Meglet I pop out on my own no problem but as I feel I must be home by 10 pm I doubt I will have a social life until ds is 15. So that is another 3 more years. I can then join meet up groups properly and come home by midnight twice a month.... Until then it is back home by 10 pm. So far I have only been out for an occasional spiritual meeting and back home by that time. Sorry to shatter the illusion!

Having said that ladies I think I will start going out properly when ds is 13 so only 1 more year to go. I don't think I could take it much longer than that! Ds will enjoy being allowed to stay up until midnight lol......

Hello
I'm new to the group and the lifestyle
Eeek

Welcome ididnt .

polly I didn't mean anything rock n roll like going out until 10. I just want to go to the gym, supermarket or a meal with friends. No more debauched nights out for me bummer ..

How old are your kiddywinks again Meglet? Surely you can go to the gym once they are secondary school age and also the supermarket. To be honest I have been going to Tescos for an hour or so since ds was 8.

Once he was 10 I introduced leaving him on his own for when I had my haircut. As long as they have their own iphone and know the drill for ringing 999 etc all should be well.

As for a meal out I feel the age of 12 is absolutely fine but then again I am no expert.

Hello ididnt welcome!

My Dd is 10 but I wouldn't leave her alone in the house just yet. She is sensible but I don't think I'm ready yet! Don't think I did with Ds then either.

polly 10 & 8. So another three or four years until they're both at secondary.

solo I left DS along in the house for 15 mins when I nipped to the allotment almost on the doorstep, rich people have longer gardens than the walk to my plot. He rang me after a few minutes saying he didn't like being on his own 😕. I'll have another go this spring.

Hi there everyone-I know it's only 8 am but I'm shattered! A mixture of circumstances out of my control and me not being psychic have resulted in all hell breaking lose yesterday and me being in tears at the new job.......luckily the lady I share an office with was absolutely lovely and was very kind but I'm now waiting for the second part of the crap storm to land as of course it's all my fault and after a rotten evening last night and then waking up tired this morning because of it all I can really do without it. Sorry I'' being vague but it's family related and if any of them end up on here......Christ - I don't even have here to feel safe anymore........

Oh fos . . Can you hunker down today and potter or do you have to go out?

The dc's have got a couple of things on today. I'm going to buy something for the garden. Possibly a bird feeder.

Thanks Meg - my stress levels went into overdrive and was struggling to stop the spiral. Luckily I got hold of my friend who understands me and she talked me through it all so I feel a bit calmer now. Waiting in for a delivery so not going anywhere today if I can help it. Now to start eating again.....!

Fos

Fos sorry to hear you have been feeling upset. When I am extra traumatised or stressed I like to have a 20 minute lie down on the bed. That is all I allow myself but it does seem to restore energy/sanity levels. Hope this helps. Pleased to hear your work were supportive that is important.

All radio silence-I'm leaving them all to it not that they have probably noticed as they never ring. Those who know me have been lovely. The family member is young for their age and can behave appallingly, the irony is another previous generation member behaves the same and we're NC with them. It's as if history is repeating but if I were to remotely hint at it and the enabling then I know they'd be no coming back so I just leave them to it. They may have screamed down the phone at me that they'd washed their hands of me - well after everything I've done for them the feeling is mutual.
I just feel bad that it's happened a couple of weeks before dd's birthday and with there only being the two of us and no other family to celebrate with her it'll be a bit flat (although just remembered she has a guide trip that night so hopefully that will make it good for her)

And thank you so much for your kindness - it really does help

How do you maintain relationships with joint friends? And friends who suddenly feel weird around you because you are a single mum?
How do you make new friends? Are these stupid questions?

Ididnt if people go a bit weird because you are a single parent then that is their hangup not yours. There is not much point in taking it personally.

I have got used to the occasional reaction like that and just steer clear from those types. Such is life!

As far as joint friends are concerned I guess some will go on your side and others not and will side with your ex. Funny old world eh.

How are you getting on fos?

It's been very quiet here for a week. Has everyone been watching the news in horror too?

Glad January is nearly over. Spring will be on the way soon 🌱 . So I'd better get my allotment shed tidied up pronto.

It is scary isn't it? I think Trump could start a world war and it will not be pretty. He's a despicable excuse for a human being.

Donald Trump put me off watching tv whe he got in for nearly a month pyes he may start off a war who knows. He may get assassinated if not - there is always that risk. Worrying.

Hi there - still not heard from them, and had some terrible news on Thursday (can't say much due to daily fail et al who lurk, suffice to say an awful thing happened to a lovely person who at one point I was related to. Dd was in bits over it, it was all over the press so no escape) and I just thought 'stuff them'. Date went great on Saturday, kept saying he wanted to meet up again......texted Monday morning, then nothing, texted Tuesday morning to say had been ill and slept from when got in til the morning but really wanted to meet again. Said I'd be free that night for a call......and nothing. Can't understand why he was constantly saying over 3 days wanting to meet up again then behaved like that, totally confused.....I can't deal with all that so sent him a message asking what the score was (politely) and nothing since (as expected).
So I'm done with on line dating . It was leaving me with a sour view of men who I know aren't like that and I felt all I've done is paid to feel ugly and undateable.

Here's to another 11 cats!!!

Oh Fos :( (((hugs))) & . You are very brave to even dip a toe in; I am not! And he did not deserve you anyway.

Fos I don't think men like ringing much these days give him some time and he will get better and arrange to meet again. That is my view anyway.