Number 2 Thread When You Are Fed Up With The Solitary Burden Of Single Parentdom

[Solo]

Happy New Year and Happy New Thread to all the single parents looking for a place to rant, rave, moan, share the highs and the lows and chat with people that know! It is the second thread and probably a slow one if the first is anything to go by, but it's here when we need it.

LINK TO THE FIRST THREAD

You'll make me Kondo my house won't you .

What I need to do is deal with the dc's pictures and my paperwork. I'm getting better with the dc's clothes, my sister had a baby last year so all the decent clothes and toys have gone to her.

No! We don't do Kondo although I do have the book (I'm a book hoarder too) and I know a couple of posters have used her method to some extent but on our thread we do support and idea's, nothing forceful at all.

Hi just thought i would add myself on here as i am feeling a bit meh! I have 2 little girls under 5. I was complaining the other day to my mum, how alone i felt as i dont really have any friends. I havent actually been out to socialise in months. I honestly thought that i had friends from my old work (took redundancy), you know meet up and mix once in a while but, its like i dont exist. So i tried dating ..... although i get lots of responses i just dont seem to get past the email stage ... i think i still have issues with trust and self worth but you would think after all this time i would be ready to mingle!! How do other people do it???

I am going to be 40 soon although i dont actually care about my age i just worry that if i dont try now to meet someone i never will, i am 85% content with the fact my life is my own but the other 15 percent is scared ill be alone for the rest of my life surrounded my cats .....

Welcome Sparklezz :). It's a tough thing being on your own with or without children, but having them can isolate you even more imho. I have been single for over 8 years now and sometimes I feel I'd like a special someone in my life and the other times I just don't think about it. I feel quite invisible actually and at going on 53 I do feel like I'll never be with anyone ever again, but then I think well I'm okay on my own; there's no one to answer to, no one to consider and no one to lay claim on what I've worked hard for. A little voice also tells me that it'll happen when the time is right for me.
Don't despair but do make the most of your girl's 'little time' because it does really fly by :)

Personally I think the older the children are the better for feeling in one piece. Breakthrough ages for me so far have been starting school, turning 8 and starting secondary school. I also hear that 15 is a breakthrough age and naturally 18 once they finish their school years.

Oh I prefered it when the kids were little, had no attitude and did as they were told! . Ds is 18 and a bloody nightmare and Dd at almost 10 has copied him, sadly.

The attitude. Oh yes. Mine have it in spades. I need a trained negotiater in this house.

Sent my little car off for its MOT earlier. Wished it well and crossed my fingers 🚗 .

My clever little car passed it's MOT. I can breathe now. It always puts a downer on every December knowing I've got a potential financial crisis if it fails badly.

solo I might be brave and peek at the hoarder thread. My 'problem' is possibly that I haven't moved much in my life. Rarely need to a do a massive clear out. I'd like to do my under stairs cupboard over Xmas.

Well done Carlet :) Meglet I'll send a link in a PM.

I am pleased for your Meglet ref the MOT I consider car expenses one of the most stressful experiences for a single parent!

I have gone on Kalms tablets again this side of Xmas as it brings on more anxiety in me. Sept to Jan have always been bad months for my borderline Asperger's but it will pass.... Deep breathing until!

Flowers

Solo that is so sweet bless you lol.

Struggling a bit today. Wrapping christmas presents for DD while she is on a (rare) weekend stay with her dad.

This will be my 4th year as a single mum at Christmas. The 4th year I will have no presents to open on Christmas day.

I know presents aren't what it's all about, but seeing threads with people discussing what is on their (very long) christmas lists I can't help but feel a bit sad and pathetically tearful.

Note to self... keep off Christmas threads and FB bragging posts...

ittooshallpass please do buy yourself even a very small gift for Xmas. You deserve it. This was something I just forgot to even so much as consider for myself in the early years as I had no family support to remind me that I needed to do this. It is just the past few years I have begun to wrap something up for myself.

Its been so long since I posted on this under Number 73! I forgot all about this thread.

I will read the whole thread tomorrow as far too tired now. I would like to say to ittooshallpass I know how you feel although my mum will get me a presents from DS. I've been tearful/crying for a couple of weeks over this shitness and loneliness of being a single parent at christmas time.

It seems to have hit me really hard this year too **clippity. Not sure why? Maybe because I thought I'd be in a new relationship by now?

No-one takes DD out to get a card or pressie for me... i'd love to get a card with mummy on!

Maybe I'll ask DD if she wants me to take her to get me a pressie?! Let her choose me something? Is that too much pressure on her? Or a nice thing to do together??

I bet she'd love to do that ittoo :)
I'm the same usually too, but wrapping something up for myself? I just can't do it.

Did I mention Ds has moved out again? I don't remember. Anyway, he went and met his father about a week ago. Then they were sitting in my mother's living room all cosy like. Can't tell you how flaming angry that makes me.

I still have no idea where I'm going to be with Dd on Christmas day; I just don't want to be anywhere familiar! I wish I could afford a holiday let for a few days for the two of us.

My mum is really getting me down. Today I phoned her as usual and she mentioned that Ds had been in bed until 1pm and I said I couldn't believe he'd done that after arranging to do something with my brother this morning so she replies "well he works all week, he deserves a day in bed" . He works 4 days a week and this is only in recent months! He's not some bloody special case now just because he actually got himself a job! I feel that he and his friend living there with her has spoiled my relationship with both mum and Ds; it's like he suddenly can't do any wrong, but I'm the bad guy. I wish I could disappear!

Solo it sounds like your mum mollycoddles your brother. Perhaps it is favouritism I don't know. It doesn't sound fair anyway.

I had a blinding sleep Saturday night which was sorely needed. In the winter my sleep goes belly up owing to my genetic condition (borderline Asperger's). However I am back to square one again today as I have been awake since 3 a.m.

Am thinking of having two overall body rubs a month next autumn/winter on to help with sleep. It just ain't fun. It means I am living on autopilot throughout Sept to Jan time. A mere existence at best.

By January I am on the mend sleep and nerves and anxiety wise however so it will pass. Boring! Unfortunately this isn't even something to do with single parent as I have had this since my teens grrrr. Even when living with men etc.

Hope I didn't bore any of you. Wishing you all a good week. :)

Flowers Yes, she mollycoddled my brother, but it's my Ds that is now the issue as he has moved in with her. He and his friend are living with her and they seem to be the new blue eyed boys (she's 75 btw) and I seem to just be the bad person because I can't get over that he refuses to pay anything for the months he lived here and was working ~ bearing in mind of course that I had not had any contribution in the form of tax credits (because he dropped out of school early) for 18 months! I just can't understand that he happily hands over the cash to her though!

I understand your sleep problems (I have ME) and it's not boring! It's another crap part of life that adds to the pile of crap that life throws at us! Glad you will start to feel better soon though .

I'm trying to find a really cheap holiday let so that I can take Dd away over Christmas to escape! I would've gone to mums for the day, but am increasingly reluctant to do so. Grrr!

My sleep problem really holds me back but as bad as it is as a single parent i.e. my sleep playing up - it was way worse over the years as a wife!!

Asperger's types just don't suit cohabiting ha ha. As long as we can afford it it is quite nice being independent it is just hellish when our children play up and anything can kick off at any time after all ......

I know! We have Aspies in the family too :)

Lol good luck with any holiday findings Solo.

Staying home except for Christmas day; going to mums for that.