Number 2 Thread When You Are Fed Up With The Solitary Burden Of Single Parentdom

[Solo]

Happy New Year and Happy New Thread to all the single parents looking for a place to rant, rave, moan, share the highs and the lows and chat with people that know! It is the second thread and probably a slow one if the first is anything to go by, but it's here when we need it.

LINK TO THE FIRST THREAD

Never posted yet but feel at my wits end today long story but left abusive marriage 4years ago and moved away fresh start for myself and kids . Always kept up regular contact with kids and there dad as kids need both parents . Anyway my son moved out 7 months ago due to dad causing problems I put boundaries in he says to my son ignore your mum. Anyway he comes home at weekend and says he not happy at dads and this and that's happened so say to him he's better staying with me where he's safe and well cared for so sort school ect come back from work yesterday and he wants to go back . So I agree as cannot really stop him at 15 but my hearts broken and really miss him and worry about him cannot think straight and have been in bed most of the day in tears . Really wish could do more for my son but have up respect what he wants I also need to look after his younger brother and try and pull myself together just feeling it today

charlene ((hugs)) to you. It is crappy that you are having your emotions twisted around by your son. The trouble is that they haven't a clue what they are actually doing in life yet! Mine is 18 and he too is giving me a lot of grief and not much sleep and saying he wants to move out again which has made me very sad and upset. He has said some very rude and hurtful things about and to me and now refuses to speak to me. I think we just have to hold on to the end of our tether and tie a knot in it charlene.

So Ds is not happy to pay me £200 per month for his housekeeping, but is happy to pay my mum £250 per month! I've bloody fuming! I have not had a penny piece for/from him in 13 months! Still pay his phone, run him around. I'm so angry!

It must be horrid when our children play up this badly. I hope things pick up Solo and Charlene. Not that my boy is a model of excellent behaviour either he is very stormy with his moods and hormones now he is nearly 12. One minute he is fine then the next minute he is rebelling and being mouthy and lippy.

A guy fancies me at the local supermarket so it gives food shopping a whole new meaning. It has cheered me up no end. The only problem is he is shy though bless him. I quite like him.....!

I think men get fruity in the run up to Xmas and it is a good time to potentially pull, if we are in the mood that is!

For a very long time I have felt quite put off the world of dating certainly in the most recent years since ds's father got violent towards him. I totally went off the boil in terms of seeking out dates etc. I am feeling calmer now though so who knows.

I have to say I do find long term single men quite dysfunctional so he would need a great deal of sorting out so to speak. Anyway we shall see as to when or if anything materialises. Watch this space!

Oh it's a nightmare flowers grrr!

Oooh! On the man front though :) watching with interest!

Thanks Solo he is exceedingly shy though (lacks experience and confidence even though he is 53 bless him) so I imagine he won't get around to asking me out until I am in my zimmerframe! Perhaps I should drop subtle hints slowly eh here and there ......

There is only so far I can take a conversation in an express supermarket....! Limited time and opportunity.

It's been a while since I've come on so I hope everyone's well. It's not been the easiest time recently so haven't had the will or energy to do anything outside of looking after the kids really.

Today is two weeks since my washing machine broke down, with worrying smoke filling the kitchen and everything, and it's not due to be fixed until next Monday. On top of that the kids have been ill on and off for about 3 weeks with coughs, colds and upset stomachs.

I had been looking forward to having my first night without the kids at the weekend just gone which would have given me a chance to rest after the tough weeks. However their mum first cancelled the over night last week, saying she didn't have bedding for them, and then apparently fell ill on Friday, conveniently meaning I had to cancel the appointment we had to sign the tenancy over from a joint one to single in my name, and ended up only having the kids for 4 hours on Saturday before calling me to collect them. My weekend free ended up being only 4 hours long so not much resting or relaxing was had.

Flowers if he is the one, then it'll be worth the wait and or effort

CPD welcome back :) Shame for you re the weekend and washing machine :( We rely on these things so much don't we? I dread mine conking out I really do. Are youv washing the bare essentials by hand or traipsing to the launderette? I can't stand either if I'm honest, but I guess I'd have to if I had to. Sending good vibes.

Dd had her tonsils and adenoids out today and they apparently were massive!! and tonsils badly infected which is weird as she's only every had tonsilitus about 5 times in her almost 10 years. The reason they came out was because of her sleep apnoea and snoring; she had really bad quality sleep. Anyway, she has loads of antibiotics and pain meds. She has been a star all in all today and I take my hat off to the fabulous NHS staff ; absolutely brilliant! Thank you all for you kindness, patience and care.

Solo I am pleased to hear your dd has finally had her tonsils removed. Waiting lists are a pain aren't they. It is a good job done at least for you.

Does anybody know how to do the emboldening and the emoticons etc. I have forgotten which function it is on the screen. I am quite useless at modern technology at times I really am .....

Hope everybody is getting on nicely in the run up to Xmas it can be quite a stressful time on top of the everyday strains and stresses that we all have to face.

As to whether this guy at the supermarket is the right one Solo who knows. If it is meant to be it will happen I guess. I just wish he was more confident and less shy as now ds is nearly 12 and in secondary school I feel that bit more in one piece and readier to face the dating world again ...... I will just keep flirting with him a little and encouraging him etc. We shall see!

Solo luckily my parents are doing any washing for me as they refuse to let me try and use a laundrette, with my joint problems trying to carry heavy loads of washing around isn't feasible on top of watching DS who isn't in nursery so with me all the time.

I'm glad your daughters operation went well and hopefully any pain ends soon. My DS had a cleft palate repair at a year old and everyone involved with the hospital was amazing as well, though it was still awful watching him go under the anesthetic and then the wait while they operated seemed to drag on forever.

Polly hopefully he gets the confidence to ask you on a date but speaking as a man of limited experience as well it's sometimes not as obvious to us that you are interested as you think you're making it. We can sometimes be naive when it comes to the things like this.

Also if you're on a phone press the little italic I under the comment box and then press bold when the list of options pops up

Catching up later! 🐊

That was meant to be a cute dinosaur. Not an alligator .

Thanks all :)

then word/s followed by gives word and followed by word/s and then gives you bold but no gaps between ^/ and first and last letters iyswim? But I'm on a laptop, so phones might be different. Emoticons are at the bottom of each page

ChronicPainDaddy thanks for that. I feel I deserve somebody by now as I have zero help from the ex apart from modest maintenance and absolutely zilch family support. I would like a part time friend to go out with nothing heavy i.e. no moving in as I prefer independence. I think this guy knows I am fairly interested as a mutual friend at the supermarket has passed on my interest the problem is he is shy. We will see! It is flattering anyway and I am in no rush this side of the silly season.

Does anybody else hate the Xmas festive period all this enforced joy we are supposed to be experiencing and such an expensive time too for families. I will be pleased and relieved when New Year is with us!! Ds had his PS4 early so he is well chuffed. He is just getting a chocolate stocking and socks on the day itself that is my limit. I am cleaned out!

Polly hopefully it all goes well and he becomes the person you can go out and do things with then, will just have to wait for when he gets up the courage to ask you then.

The thought of having someone to share things with is nice and I've only been a single dad since the start of the year so I imagine it'll get more appealing as time goes on, though I suppose part of it is that while I am stuck alone dealing with DD having started school this year and DS's lack of language skills due to health issues, on too of my own health issues, their mum has gone off to set up home with the man she left me for and has somehow become engaged to him before we have even really talked about divorce.

I agree with Christmas being overwhelming at times. Everyone is expected to be full of Christmas joy and bursting at the seems with love but it's never been a huge deal for me. My family always had low key Christmases, we always gave thoughtful gifts and spent time together on Christmas day but we also tended to drift off to do our own things throughout the day. My ex always goes overboard though, she had the kids help her put her Christmas tree up during her day with them on the 12th of November

chronic I had to read that last bit twice , 12th Nov is nuts .

12th November?! That's ridiculous! I hate Christmas and New Years! I haven't even bothered with a tree since 2007. The last time a tree went up was the Christmas Dd turned 1 (she was born on Boxing Day). I had a tremendous amount of loss within a year from November '08 until December '09 and I cannot sort myself out. I send very few cards and I don't put cards up. I'm very bah humbug which is really sad for the kids.

I would like to meet someone special now I think but I have been alone for 8 years and I'm not sure I could adjust (or allow myself to trust) to a man in my life now.

Bundle of joy aren't I?!

Solo don't worry about it just keep enjoying your independence if you find somebody nice who does not feel threatened by our love of our independence then go for it. I do think however that most people out there i.e. both men and women simply do not get our preference for our independence. The general view is that we must need a man urgently to rescue us and that we cannot last without a man. We must need an urgent screw too is what many men think! I find this really annoying I really do lol. Single parent and gagging for it is the common view there are so many inaccurate views on single parenting I have always found it quite bewiildering.

Independence isn't something we necessarily learn straightaway but certainly after a few years. I have noticed that the women who needily rush off and hurredly move on to another man aren't necessarily any happier than they were in their previous relationship. It is important to find our inner peace before we look into the world of dating again - if our children give us time to collect our thoughts that is!! A bit of a longshot in many contexts ha ha.

Speaking of cards Solo I haven't put them up in years not since ds was even born. I used to put the tree up until ds was 8 but once he learned the myth of Father Christmas was just bunkum I stopped as it is one less faff to see to. Conveniently I turned Buddhist so that is a further excuse to not put all the decorations around the house! Ds doesn't mind anyway so long as he has nice grub for a few days and a decent present.

You made me smile Flowers and I agree as I'm far from desperate! and am not interested in casual sex.

solo I scrape together enough Xmas atmosphere to put the tree up the day before the dc's break up from school, even then I'm a bit Scrooge about it, it gets in the way. Can't be doing with putting it up at the start of December. It comes down on new years day.

Car MOT tomorrow. I get so nervy the day before in case they find something nasty.

Last Christmas I got a small (nothingy) pink tree from freecycle and had that up, but it had nothing on it and I gave it to a charity shop soon after. The only other thread I'm on is a hoarder's thread and that is now my main reason for not having one up ~ there's no room for it. My hoarding is my drawbridge which allows no other person (read man) into my castle. I honestly thought I'd have it sorted this year hence the getting rid of the pink mini tree.

I hear you in regard to the MOT. Good luck to you and Carlet.

solo I swear being a lp triggers a siege mentality and hoarder tendencies. I shouldn't be allowed anywhere near charity shops.

You too Meglet ? Come join our thread. We are not alone. PM me if you'd like a link. I am much better than I was about charity shops; I can actually go in, look around and walk out without actually buying anything; same with freecycle, but it's what I already have here that's the problem and my inability to be organised :(