Number 2 Thread When You Are Fed Up With The Solitary Burden Of Single Parentdom

[Solo]

Happy New Year and Happy New Thread to all the single parents looking for a place to rant, rave, moan, share the highs and the lows and chat with people that know! It is the second thread and probably a slow one if the first is anything to go by, but it's here when we need it.

LINK TO THE FIRST THREAD

We are on holiday, staying with family grrrr, the dc's have decided to share a room with me . I'm going to go home more tired than when we arrived.

fos that's lovely .

I'm away from tomorrow. Camping with a friend of mine (caravan). Dd is driving me crazy and we haven't left yet! I'm leaving Ds at home as he has to work, but I am worried that he won't get up for work and worried about him generally. He started smoking when he left home . I hate it; seeing him smoke ~ knowing that smoking contributed to my Dad's death :( I have never smoked and my Mum gave up when I was 7 or 8 when her own Dad did. He was a chain smoker and stopped cold turkey when he was 57/58; I don't know how he did it. One of his lungs collapsed about a year later; it was removed. He was dead a week after he turned 60. Ds's diet is now terrible too and he never eats at home except for cereal. His teeth have suffered through drinking energy drinks and he has to have 3 fillings this month. Where did I go wrong? Was I too strict with his diet? Should I have allowed him sweets and cola? I'm concerned Dd will be the same as him once I can't 'control' her life. Feeling such a failure right now when I know I have worked so hard to raise them the right way :(

Solo , the worry is immense isn't it. I have grand plans for ds (heaven knows what dd will do ) that he really could fulfill and enjoy, but there's that potential for it to go tits up when he's a teen. I suppose even two parent families have dc's who go through dreadful patches, I don't think it's a lp thing.

Is your dd enjoying your holiday? My family actually came to the beach today so the dc's had an adult each in the rough sea and there was someone staying at the beach tent. So much easier than doing it on my own.

Hi Solo - hope the break is going well and giving you time to exhale.

And where did you go wrong? Probably the same time we all did!!! I look at dd and think 'I shouldn't have done this/that/the other'. I think back to her falling downstairs and knocking out half a tooth and the ear infections she got from it and I think what a failure I was.

You might not like the decisions he has made re smoking, but at least you know that he's not afraid to make decisions - and with him coming back home change them as circumstances change. I think that's pretty good parenting actually - even if we don't like the decision they make.

Just had an MN moment in town. We're in a mobile phone shop and a customer has just whipped the potty out for her toddler to wee in the middle of the shop after he started to piddle on the floor. Me and the girl serving me were . If that were me I'd be slightly embarrassed and clean up every drop.

Hope we are all fighting fit! Well even ok would do! Have had fun and games with the washing machine it wouldn't work earlier now it is mysteriously running again. It is eight years old so it is a miracle it is still fine. Me and ds went to Wilkos to buy some fence paint (fun for the forthcoming Bank Holiday weekend!) as my fence REALLY needs doing also my shed is pitiful. I have been putting it off for so long now .... I was amazed that not only did ds actually want to come out with me (he is 11) he actually helped carry the shopping to the car after! Wonders may never cease. I do in fact find it nigh on impossible to get him to do many jobs at home. He attempted to bring in the washing with me but he is useless with clothes pegs. It was raining by the time we got home and we had to run for it. All good fun - not! I really hope my machine mysteriously continues working now .... Fingers crossed as it would be impossible to rush out and buy a machine just at the present! All part of life's rich pattern mmmnnn ....

flower oh washing machine stresses are horrible. (See also car and boiler stress). Hope it behaves itself now.

I won't say "enjoy" the fence painting as it's not exactly a thrilling task is it, it'll be nice if you get some lovely weather for it though.

We've been in the garden today, front, back and quick dash to allotment. Managed a bit of a tidy up at each.

I must have been having a brain fade as I had forgotten to put the power button on! Can you believe it. It is one of those things you do automatically without thinking and then all of a sudden forget how to do it ....

Silly me! Though I have noticed online ao dot com look good for white goods and they do credit too..... Should the occasion arise.

Just as well you hadn't called a repairman out!

Yes meglet I would have looked a right plonker!

Hi all! Hope you are all well :)

We had our week away and my friend made me feel dreadful for a large part of it. Dd couldn't do anything right so clearly I'm a terrible parent. I have though learnt a lot about my best friend and I have to say that I am disappointed in my findings ~ but no doubt she doesn't think much of me either. She was never a single parent (kids grown up now) and she is not short of money by any means. Needless to say we won't be going away together again.

Ds is unemployed again :( but that is more to do with the type of employer than with Ds. He is gutted. I'm not too pleased myself as I had yet to see a penny and I now have to pay the extra 25% council tax for him and apparently, the tax credits people paid me too much last year, so I have to pay it back which means less help this year; this exasperates me as I told them my exact circumstances, so clearly they made the mistake not me!

Glad the washing machine is ok!
My Ds always helped me in with shopping from the car from an early age, but yesterday I had to ask him to help me as I struggled and he watched whilst having a smoke .
Sounds like 'more' is better regarding the beach trip :)

Any further plans for the week anyone? I'm off for this week. Could do a south coast meetup if anyone fancies it? Otherwise I'll just be working on the tip here at home! save me!

Solo I do feel for you my overpayment has only just been paid they took a huge chunk out which is finally over with! Phew.

I can imagine how rubbish your 'friend' was if she has always been rollling in it and always had a bloke.

I just hate it when people make comments on how to raise our children!

I prefer to do things my way and if I want advice I will ask for it!

A bit like my ex who things I should be rolling it as I am earning plus getting DWP funds well I would like to know where it all is he seems to think I should have plenty for foreign holidays well there just aint. It is either a holiday every year or things that need slowly replacing in the house. It would seem everything is slowly falling to bits!

I wish I could move to an island and live in solitude! I feel like I do most of the time anyway, but surrounded by people who don't want to understand! So glad I started these threads! You all save my sanity!!

Hacked off for you too Solo - when you work hard for a break and then someone without a clue comes along and wrecks it when you thought they were on your side - gggrrrr still has bitter memories of break years ago when as a couple took the in laws on our yearly break, mil was a cow all week and dictated what we did then as soon as we came home booked a foreign break as 'well you can't call that a proper holiday.' Well it was ours and you wrecked it

yy solo we're pretty much on our own for logistical and financial reasons. May as well go the whole hog and get an island .

Had school shoe shopping yesterday. Bye bye £90 .

Don't talk to me about school shoes! I bought 2 pairs of Kickers several years ago forward thinking when they were mega cheap on Bargain Crazy and I can't blinking find them! I think the smaller pair would fit Dd now! Clearly they are in a safe place!

So shall we club together and purchase one then? An island I mean.

Have to buy ds his school shoes in Clarks again next week innit.

Also football boots..... Will go to Sports Direct for those.

He had to get a whole new uniform bought recently too as he is starting secondary school which cost a small fortune!

I'm in if there's space on this ere island - I can bring cake and wine!

Yep! And I'll bring tea.

Could this island have calorie free cake and calorie free gin and tonic! I will be up for that!

:)

Can I join you on the island? Would love some sun, sea and sand... cocktails... yummy seafood...

A million miles away from camping in uk!

I have been lucky with the weather this year in uk. The 3 whole days I managed to get off work were glorious 😀

But so fed up of seeing others in Italy, Spain and far east on FB 😕 (Most of whom were complaining about not having any money at end of term!)

When I say I have no money I actually don't have any!

Sigh...

Well dd came back off an eventful holiday with xh.......got her back Saturday tea time and since then she has slept for 26 hours with a 9 hour awake break.

She goes back there tonight......

Ittoo this island idea is becoming more and more appealing!

Fos that's shocking! Why is she so tired? You may have told before about his crap bedtime rules etc for your Dd, but my memory...!