Can ex do this?

[TemporarilyOutOfOrder]

After being split up for 2 years my ex is now paying £85 a month for our da. He comes out of work with £250 a week so it's the least he can do. He's insisting on receipts for everything I buy with it and has said its only to be used for clothing and presents for birthdays etc. he never even got ds a birthday present as he claimed that money covered it. I'm not to use it for food, gas or electricity etc. can he do this or is it just another way of him trying to have power over me? He's told me if I don't he will stop making payments.

Tia

The deliberate omission of info alone makes you an arse then number1dad.

fair enough I shall not lose sleep over it. FYI the original comment may not have been clear however it never said what parental status I was either. It was assumed wrongly I was the nrp. I find it mildly amusing tbh. you should learn to chill out more. Being a parent isn't easy but getting in a tis about nothing is silly.

but even if n1d was on benefits, £5 can be a huge chunk out of the pittance that you get, depending on what you are entitled too. he could also have been paying for the child for a few nights a fortnight, and as some may have noticed there is a war on bloody great big recession that make finding work difficult.

I did not read it as an omission just as a comment in the flow of a thread.

(not of course that five pounds goes anywhere near providing for a child.)

The best one is probably when I received a text message with the words "I cant have ds this weekend as its the final and the final comes first, standard"
To the poster who asked do I wonder how I had a baby with him? Yep every single day. He told me the other day he wanted me to get a run down from his teachers every day on what he'd been doing. Told him if he wanted that then to phone up and see how far he got. Does he seriously think that with 30 kids in a class his teachers have time for that the knobber?

When your dealing with a man like that it's important to one by one remove all his points of control ( woman's refuge) . You are after woman , you deserve a new private life without control . Expect him up kick off and try to find new controls to use one you but the answer is no no no , the person in control is actually you but you hv to take it

After reading some of these posts it makes me see its not just my ex who is a total idiot. my ex has started paying maintenance directly to kids. The thing is they are all teenagers and im looking like the bad one saying to them that I need the money back. caused no end of arguments. If I go to CSA ive calculated he should give me an extra £150 a month. Do I do this and still give the kids what he has started giving them. I was already putting money in their bank accounts before he pulled this stunt but obviously not all of it x

My ex tried this kind of thing - said he would just pay me half of DD's costs every month. I said that would be fine, and that I'd just paid £400 for new bedroom furniture for her and so I would be expecting his £200 by the end of the week. He said I was being 'stupid'.

Definitely get the CMS involved. He sounds like a prize git. And he's underpaying. At the end of the day, it shouldn't matter what happened in the relationship or how much he wants to control you - he has a responsibility as the other parent to cough up and provide for your child together. Don't let him bully you into thinking otherwise.

And also go no contact if you have to. Easier than it sounds.

I feel your pain, but he simply cant insist on all of the things he is saying.

Go to the CMS straight away, it only costs£10 or £20 and they deal with it very efficiently. It might take a while to get the first payment through but its based on his P60 from the last tax year, so you know you'll be getting a fair amount. I used them when i split up from my ex in January and it was the best thing i ever did (splitting up with him and using the CMS that is!) good luck and stay strong. x