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Lone parents

Fed up with not having anyone to share the burdens with.

960 replies

Solo · 20/08/2014 16:46

Bit of a self pitying thread really, but it's taken me a very long time and I can now say with conviction that after being on my own for so long...

I am fed up with the burden of being alone.
I am fed up with struggling on my own.
I am sometimes lonely.
I have no single parent friends or single friends at all and my 'social life' ha! what a joke is visiting my widowed Mum or visiting my Brother.
I miss my Dad terribly.
I can't get a job.
Not one 'friend' has spoken to me so far this summer holiday (except one that lives on cloud fluffyland in her mansion and that really cheers me up because shopping is her passtime!).

I could write a very long list of problems and yes, I know we all have problems, but I just don't want to do it on my own any longer, I don't want to face the problems on my own :( I could cry right now and need a real 'man hug' and I don't care who knows it!

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meglet · 24/08/2014 19:48

misstired we've not had an exciting bank hols. Tomorrow I'm combining laundry trips to my stepmums house (dad died a few years ago) with a trip to the tip (woooooo!) and possibly the supermarket.

TBH I'm not too fussed about a couple of quiet weeks. We were in Cornwall 2 weeks ago so did loads of things and it's DD's birthday in Sept, we're probably going to Go Ape Junior for that. So a) I'm broke and b) the dc's could do with some downtime playing at home before term starts again.

I always appreciate whingy lone parent threads Smile.

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Misfitless · 24/08/2014 20:13

meglet as a child, every single bank holiday without fail included at least one trip to the tip in our house Grin. If my dad took us to B&Q it was an even bigger treat!

Not much fun for you, but if you're taking the DCs don't underestimate it...I genuinely loved it as a child Confused!

Saying that my own ungrateful little darlings DCs don't seem quite so excited by it, kids today eh...don't know they're born!

Mistired thanks - I'm taking my DCs to Chester Zoo now, too! I didn't know about the Kids Go Free offer! £20.00 for me and 4 DCs Shock!!

Rest assured though, next BH it'll be the tip followed by B&Q, if they're good! Grin

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misstiredbuthappy · 24/08/2014 20:19

Have a good night misfitles

Im in North Wales.

Go ape junior looks realy good meglet

Its a good offer isnt it misfitless The zoo never had any offers on. Its going to be packed though im sure. You can only do it online though cant you,

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SpicedGingerTea · 24/08/2014 20:29

Lady South Derbys/Notts border. Smile

"I always appreciate whingy lone parent threads."

Me too. I've been a MN regular for a few years but am often surprised at home quiet the Lone Parents board is.

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LadySybilLikesCake · 24/08/2014 20:48

I'm Bramcote/Stapleford Smile

I have to work now Have a very lovely evening Wine

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meglet · 24/08/2014 21:07

misfit I like the tip Blush. Ours always wins awards for recycling and general organised-ness. Last time I went I noticed they'd set up a huge 'cage' for large plastic items, it was full of kids paddling pools, ponds and buckets. I was itching to see what they were going to sell off. Tomorrow I need to find out about patio slabs (as well as drop a couple of things off), I want to put a few down at the allotment as a barrier between plots.

Chester Zoo is meant to be a good day out isn't it. Hope you have a nice day out.

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misstiredbuthappy · 24/08/2014 21:58

I want to go to your tip meglet you can only dump stuff at ours. Id love a rummage Grin

God im bored. Just been watching the news about the british person with ebola is back in the uk Shock

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Solo · 25/08/2014 02:16

Goodness! lots of people and lots of chatter! how fabulous is this?!! Grin also, no one is being thrown off the thread!

There seem to be a few of you in the Mids area.

Do we want to do an introduction post about ourselves? put as much or as little info as you are comfortable and happy to give.

I'll start.

Lone Mum to Ds 16yo, Dd 7.8yo.
Never had any 'live in' help from the Dc's fathers.
Single for almost 6 years, but lived alone (except for children) for 17+ years.
Unemployed but looking.
I'm in se London/Kent area.
Very disorganised, but can usually cook a meal out of very little.

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Misfitless · 25/08/2014 07:38

Married with four DCs 17yrs, 8yrs, 6yrs, 4yrs.

(The most concise way to explain it is to say that we've been together 20 yrs with a 5 1/2 year blip along the way!)

We have one beautiful old dog, who the DCs sometimes say they love more than each other Grin.

Work PT as a PA.

Very disorganised, usually find myself peering into the fridge at about 3.45pm, wondering what we can have for tea.

I'm almost 39yrs.

PS - had a really nice time last night, felt a bit under-dressed, but never mind! Me and my friend vowed to go out on a regular basis from now on!

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LadySybilLikesCake · 25/08/2014 10:00

Lone Mum to Ds 15
Never had any 'live in' help from the Dc's fathers apart for 5 days which ended on him going out on the piss with a friend and not coming back for 4 days. I packed his things in a bin bag and threw him out. Little 'live out' help from him until ds was 3. Then he decided he was bored and moved abroad. Very little contact from then.
Single for almost 15 years, and have always lived with just ds.
Work more than I should
I'm in Nottingham/Derby border
Not too badly organised, can cook, just work too much.

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misstiredbuthappy · 25/08/2014 12:14

Lone mum to dd 5.8
Dds dad has never lived with us. We were together for 4 years as soon as I got pregnant he didnt want to know. Met dd once when she was a baby. Started seeing her properly when she was 4. But his idea of bieng a parent is very different to mine, he sees her at my house once every 3ish months (when he can be botherd). Dd is fine with this she knows who he is, akthough she never mentions him, theres no bond if you see what I mean. Oh and you can probably guess he never pays a penny and has only ever sent her 1 birthday card with a fiver in !.
I work 5days a week.
Im okay at bieng organised but HATES housework

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Solo · 25/08/2014 16:56

Oh and I was 50 this year.

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SpicedGingerTea · 25/08/2014 17:18

This is great. Sybil I really am not far from you! Smile

  • 37 year old single Mum to 17 month DS
  • Was married but H fucked off with OW who was also pregnant with his child Hmm
  • Have not seen H in 2 years, though saw him in court last week. Currently going through shitty divorce, will be hugely relieved when it's over. He has expressed no interest in DS, positively denied his existence at times. Glad he is out of our lives - no father better than a shit one.
  • Work p/t at local University
  • Couldn't do this without the help of my parents who thankfully are nearby
  • I like to be organised and like a tidy house (proving very difficult with an active toddler)
  • Two cats Smile
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misstiredbuthappy · 25/08/2014 18:26

Im 25.

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LadySybilLikesCake · 25/08/2014 18:54

Oh, we really should have a Notts/Derby meet up! I think there's a few of us on here from the same place Smile I'm 37 too (don't feel it).

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Misfitless · 25/08/2014 22:03

I'm almost 40, not almost 39!

meglet your tip does sound quite something! Envy

And you have an allotment Shock double Envy !

mistired did you enjoy Chester Zoo?

We've had a lovely time, but we were all Sad about the chimpanzees, it was heart breaking to see them. And that anteater, and the big old elephant that was swaying to and fro the whole time.

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meglet · 25/08/2014 22:16

Maybe I need to start a tip lovers quiche up Grin. Ours is a recyclers and upcyclers heaven!

I'm almost glad I've got work tomorrow, the dc's have driven me loopy today. What with MN mobile being buggered up I didn't really get chance to check in until I got the laptop out.

I'm 40. Abusive XP has been totally absent for over 5yrs now. He pays maintenance but no cards or anything (which is fine with me). I work part time and the dc's are bright little things, if a tad 'spirited' Wink.

misstired the ebola thing is weird. One minute they're saying it's really not too bad and only infectious via bodily fluids, but it's almost the headline story. I'm not too bothered about the guy in the UK, he'll be ok and they'll contain it, it's poor Africa that's going to bear the brunt of it as usual.

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Solo · 26/08/2014 00:55

I went to Chester Zoo almost 30 years ago. The animals looked healthy enough...except for the brown bear; he looked so unwell, sad and dishevelled :( I have photo's somewhere. I really hate to see animals in distress...elephants are one of my favourite wild animals and they should most definitely not be swaying! SadAngry poor things.
What was wrong with the chimpanzees and the anteater? what were they doing?

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Misfitless · 26/08/2014 08:03

Well the chimps were all sat on the platform in their dark and dingey house. There was very little natural light in there, if any.

At first I thought they were not actually real ones, they were so unnaturally still. They just looked so depressed, Solo.

If you can imagine them sort of leaning forward on their tummies, with their elbows, well one was like that. He/she was in a line with 2/3 others, all sat completely motionless, but not asleep.

My DCs commented on it before I did - they just felt so bad for them. There was no greenery in there (nothing would have grown even if they'd tried, what with practically bugger all natural light!)

It was just a load of ropes and tyres in there, that they were obviously bored with.

We had to get out after about a minute and a half. My DCs were all quiet for a while. The chimps did have an outside area, but that was dire too.

My DS said "I don't suppose this bit is too bad, mum, is it? It would be a bit of fun if you were a chimp." I don't think he actually believed it himself, though tbh, I think he was just saying it to try and cheer us up !

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Misfitless · 26/08/2014 08:29

I'm desperate for mistried to come along and tell us that when she saw them, they were happily swinging from rope to rope, but I can't see that being the case.

The anteater was beautiful, but also quite upsetting. At least we think it was an anteater, it was massive, had an anteater looking nose, but we couldn't find any information about him, so not sure. He had a really long tail that was surprisingly hairy. I'm giving you all the details in case it wasn't an anteater, and someone can set me straight! Smile

Anyway, he was shuffling from side to side, over and over again up against the wire/fence thing, just very repetitive behaviour, didn't seem like he was happy at all.

I think it was just as well that we didn't spot any cheetahs or lions, tbh.

There were some happy monkeys, and adorable baby elephants with their mum who seemed to be having a fine old time, though.

They need to roam, elephants, don't they? It just seems so wrong. And chimps should be swinging through trees, not sitting on a wooden platform in the dark.

Anyway, we went about 5 years ago, and when we got to the elephants, I remembered me and DH having the conversation about how depressing it was. I'd just forgotten how bad it was, and the conversation we'd had.

I don't remember the chimps being so unhappy last time, though. I was pretty naive to expect anything, else, I suppose. Especially as I have been before Blush and it is a zoo Confused!!!

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Misfitless · 26/08/2014 08:30

Sorry for such a depressing thread, fist thing in the morning!

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LadySybilLikesCake · 26/08/2014 12:18

I took ds to Twycross once. It was depressing to see them all caged up just so people could look at them. I'd go to a safari park, at least they could roam around free.

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Solo · 26/08/2014 13:40

:( how horrible. It seems like a catch 22 situation though doesn't it? I feel that I shouldn't go to zoo's to see caged animals that should be living wild and free in their native country, but then if I/you/we don't spend the money there, they aren't going to be fed and cared for. I do like the conservation and breeding projects, but only because I don't want to see the species' die out. Sad sad sad :(

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equinox · 26/08/2014 13:42

Hope you are all well today ladies. Me and ds had a really bizarre day out at Cadbury World yesterday - the satnav got us there in one piece although we did get a little lost in the city centre as usual like any satnav does....!

On the way home I drove no less than 4 hours and 2 hours of which were in a circuitous loop unbeknown to myself until I suddenly recognised part of the journey was going back on itself. I think my satnav has had its day. I switched it off and followed my nose all the way home.

Perhaps the fact the satnav went round in circles is symbolic of my life at the moment. I too feel my life is going round in circles getting nowhere this 'summer holiday' as I am always tired always hard up and never on top of my life. This year has been the hardest I have had in ages since no access from the ex through his violence. It seems everywhere I turn are happy families although I don't always feel this way it is just the past 10 days or so I have been feeling fed up with the holidays dragging on and as I am self-employed if I don't work I don't get paid so I can't take 'annual leave'.

I was just about coasting along ok until I went to see a reiki master and reiki healing is very profound I don't know if any of you know anything about it? I am trained in it myself but don't practise it. I have seen her twice and since going have been in a meltdown mode. I am just so utterly exhausted....!

Forgive the moan ladies hope you are all having a good day.

Must go out to local shops now.

Take good care all of you.

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Solo · 26/08/2014 13:57

Moan away!! it is a release!

Bugger! that is awful when you discover you have driven around in circles! glad you got home ok in the end.

I've had Reiki healing before and loved it. It's not supposed to tire you out though is it? quite the opposite. Could you try someone else or on yourself?

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