Fed up with not having anyone to share the burdens with.

[Solo]

Bit of a self pitying thread really, but it's taken me a very long time and I can now say with conviction that after being on my own for so long...

I am fed up with the burden of being alone.
I am fed up with struggling on my own.
I am sometimes lonely.
I have no single parent friends or single friends at all and my 'social life' ha! what a joke is visiting my widowed Mum or visiting my Brother.
I miss my Dad terribly.
I can't get a job.
Not one 'friend' has spoken to me so far this summer holiday (except one that lives on cloud fluffyland in her mansion and that really cheers me up because shopping is her passtime!).

I could write a very long list of problems and yes, I know we all have problems, but I just don't want to do it on my own any longer, I don't want to face the problems on my own :( I could cry right now and need a real 'man hug' and I don't care who knows it!

Misfitless.. Hi, oh it's bloody hard!! I had 3 really good weeks.. Ate so healthily & no binging.. Felt like I'd lost weight too but the past week I've fallen back into my old habits of comforting myself with large dinners & sweet treats!! I hate myself!!

I have been in such a lazy miserable old cow mood, I lost my motivation to make a better me & take control

I think it is now it is coming to the end of the summer holiday i.e. new school term soon - some of us are getting fed up with the prolonged role of entertaining the children while they are off.

I was fine the first few weeks but the past week or two it has been getting to me.....!

I too get sick and tired of DIY tasks and bike tasks and although I have a neighbour I can ask for help he is fearfully busy and although he is willing to help I am still sick of having to ask - and sick of feeling male and female the whole time ....!

This is the first year my son has not seen his dad much in 9 years and although his behaviour is way better for it I do feel very burdened at times.

Rainbowfeet & Misfitless please come HERE to be successful at losing weight without the need to starve/calorie count/join clubs which cost money/blah blah blah. I can totally recommend it.

Big relief anti thanks for last night too :)

My Ds doesn't see his dad and hasn't since Ds was 3.6yo. Dd saw hers a few weeks ago for the first time in over 4 years and quite frankly, I wish he'd drop dead. Waste of good oxygen.

I quite like having my Dc's off school if I'm honest, but I know it can be a bind at times.

I spent 6 hours yesterday with a neighbour that I don't know well at all. As nice as she is (from what I know), she smokes a lot and I cannot, even now get the smoke out of my nose and lungs. I had to put Vaporub up my nose to help me sleep and not be distracted by the cigarette smoke and smell! how on earth do people do that to themselves? Also, even though I don't drink; I drank a whole bottle of wine last night! must admit; I did not 'feel' it at all and I can get drunk on orange juice!!

Normally I don't really like the holidays as the school run could some days be the only time I get to speak to another adult but now my eldest has finished primary & I have a gap of 2 yrs til school run starts again the loneliness of the holidays is neither here or there!!!
Weekends can be like this too.. Not speak to another adult from fri til mon.

Just really wonder sometimes how my life came to this... It never used to be so miserable.. My fault though a series of bad decisions.. Wish I could rewind time.

I've really not had a good day.

I've just asked about deferring / dropping out of my OU course, it's got too much for me. Earlier 7yo DS had an epic tantrum about doing a work book page and I got really angry with him after a while , he said he was worried about moving up to year 3 in case he couldn't do the sums so I said that doing a workbook page a day would help him remember it before school goes back - it all ended in tears. And the washing machine is going to be broken for a few more days because they had to order a new part, so more trips to a relatives house for laundry.

What I'd like to do is go for a run to calm down but there's no one to have the dc's.

grumble now

What would you like to work as Solo?

Can I join in and too

Im so bloody tired entertaining dd all the time, work and bieng stressed about bieng constantly skint, seems like ive got loads of things to pay for at once. Would be nice if dds arse of a "dad" would contribute.

And to top it of ive got a family wedding tommorow and im the only one in my family thats not in a couple Yes thats right I have a child and im single ! My mum made a joke that I should go the bar/toilet when the slow dance songs come on therefore I wont look like a loner ! How nice. I already feel like ill stick out like a sore thumb.

Imagine if some of us were near each other, but we didn't know.

I'd be happy to say where I am, if anyone wants to pm me.

It's been an eye opener so far, this thread. Tbh, when I was a lone parent, I didn't have it so bad, in fact I had a bigger circle of friends, and more of a social life that I do now .

That was down to particular circumstances though, and I know it's the exception rather than the rule.

If it happened now, my circumstances would definitely more like the ones I'm reading about here, no question.

Solo, I'm going to read about the link to the thread, thanks for that.

Are you able to defer, meglet?

My dryer's broken! It'll be at least next Thursday before it's fixed. I've got a line but unless it's baking hot, nothing ever dries on it, and it's tiny so doesn't even fit a whole load on it.

Now if you lived near me...!

Rainbow yes! to wondering how life got like this! me too...:( and also a series of bad decisions in a sense, but that really is mostly about the men I've chosen throughout my (adult) life! wish I had been encouraged into college or trained for something good career wise!

Hey Meglet come in! I've not been able to get Dd to do her reading homework either or the worksheets they handed out about the books they have brought home...will be a rush last minute job no doubt!
Dd promises every day that she'll 'do it tomorrow' but tomorrow never comes! and I get angry and shouty too.
Argh! the washing machine! I was there for 6 months a couple of years ago. Need brain bleach because I really don't want to remember it.

I just registered for Gingerbread. Sorry there isn't a local one for you though anti. Shame you can't do one yourself too. :(

Greeneggs I have no idea! I'd clean toilets if I could do it school times and term time only! but these jobs are like hens teeth!

Misstired :( I know just what you are saying about the wedding :( it's a bloody nightmare isn't it?! A spare part. Not really with the 'singles' because you have kids and not with the loved up ones because...! well, you aren't! it's hell on Earth! and our Mums can just get it entirely wrong can't they? they don't have a clue!

Misfit hope you got to read the thread link up there. It's good!
My dryer is making little draggy noises, but I doubt I'll get spares as she is almost 30! so I'm hoping she won't break!
Hope yours is sorted soon.

I'm near junction 1 of the m25.

I am 15 min from J8 on M25.

Anyone else willing to say where they are (even on a PM)? maybe we could arrange a meeting of some description. See if we can all get sitters and have an us meet up.

I PM'd you :)

I could also set up Facebook group if you guys are on FB

I don't mind anti but I'm not sure how much I'd personally use it. Could try though :) it might prove to be just what we need!

misfit I've not had an answer from the OU about deferring yet. I've told them what's going wrong and will see what they suggest.

misstired about your mum suggesting (even jokily) you should slope off to the toilets when the slow songs come on.

Would you like a run down of my weekend ...

Break up argument. Snack. Whinge. Deal with injury. Mess. Break up argument. Snack. Whinge. Deal with injury. Mess. Break up argument. Snack. Whinge. Deal with injury. Mess......

Hello, can I join/share a moan too?

Single parent to a 17 month old, H buggered off with another woman before I found out I was pregnant. Not seen him or shown any interest in him at all. This is good in that the fuckwit is out of our lives, but means I get little help/practical support. The last few days I've been permanently tired and grumpy and I feel like I'm failing my DS who only has me.

I know meglet already feel crap about going to a wedding where theres loads of happ couples in love. Wont be there at night anyway as the couple getting married don't want kids there after 6.

Hi tricky yes moan all you like it helps. Your not failing your ds. Your there for him. The tiredness gets easier.

Once a week there should be a thread on here where we can let of steam :) I always feel a bit better when ive spoke to someone in the same position.

To everyone talking about homework..it's the bane of my life. Will have to open the book bags tomorrow and see what's lurking inside! Can feel the anxiety building up already. Why, why, why do I leave it till the last minute? I'm so pissed off with myself - I'm teaching my DCs my bad habits!

Is your mum normally that insensitive, mistired or was it just that she was having a bad day? My mum is generally lovely, but sometimes she takes my breath away at some of the tactless, horrendous things she says.

How was the wedding? I was thinking about that today. I hope it turned out to be a nice day for you in spite of everything.

meglet that sounds familiar, except with some serious mumsnet time thrown in!

I'm not on fb, it's a pity we can't do groups on here, isn't it?

Solo I'll pm you in a minute.

The trouble is Tricky it sounds like there isn't anyone telling you that you're doing a brilliant job! I'm sure that you are doing the opposite of failing your DS. I vaguely remember, my DCs being that age - it's an especially exhausting phase.

My youngest is 4 now, and off to school in a couple of weeks. The relief when the nursery funding kicked in...!

i was just about to start a very self-pitying thread somewhere along the lines of how did i end up here when i found you guys...

feeling quite sad this evening as a nice guy i met for a (1st) date last week just messaged me to tell me that basically me having having a kid of my own would "complicate" things if anything developed between us and that he wants to do the fun things with his own kid - he's now thought about it and this is his conclusion . Now I'm not sad about the guy (hardly know him) but it just reinforced the idea that I don't have the life of a "normal" 30 year old...and others don't see me as "normal" but rather, complicated.

Don't know why it hit a nerve, I've been feeling ok recently, sorted a good new job out and trying to forget that DS's dad is a total waste of space and that I'm always skint...! But sometimes I just want to be without the responsibilities and have the same kind of hope for the future others do at my age.

I feel/am lucky that I have family who help out (a lot) and I can get out once a week thanks to them. But even this makes me feel guilty (and requires arranging and organising) and argh, sometimes I just want to go see that play or meet up with friends without the guilt or the calling around seeing who's available when and who did I use last time....oh and a lie-in on a sunday would be nice! or when i have holiday from work, i don't get to do what I want and actually have a holiday, not even for a day!

not drinking wine here as I'm low-carbing (LC bootcamp) which is helping me feel a lot better, i know i'd be eating all the oreos i have in the cupboard otherwise....

Thats her on a good day. She just doesnt get it, if you know what I mean if I ever say im tired lonely or anything most lone parents feel she says oh yes it was exacly the same for me. No it wasnt she had my dad supporting her. Its not the same at all.

The wedding is next week I dont know why I wrote that it was today I bought dds outfit today .

Thats harsh of him to say that questions Well if your not normal then none of us are :) I know what you mean about looking to the future im 25 and feel on the scrapheap . In a job I hate the only good thing about it is the hours as ive hot nobody to have dd.

But I just think im still young when dds older I can retrain to be what I want.

This is great! I'm so glad I got moany as it's pulled all of you out of the woodwork and we can, if you all want to, support one another :)

We could have a thread on here if you like? I know there are 'dating threads' but I for one cannot be going on there; it's not what I'm looking for or about right now. We could have a Lone Parent Support Thread in which we can drop in and post at any time and as long as we make an effort to drop by fairly regularly, there will always be someone there to answer anyone that could do with a smile or hand hold.

Any votes for? :)

Recently widowed single parent here. Four year old DD and six week old DD. DD2 having growth spurt and been up most of the night . I'm on my knees with grief and tiredness but I will not accept a sad, lonely life. I'm saying yes to the opening of a jam jar!

I'm in Surrey if anyone wants to be friends!!!

So far the bank holiday has been brutal.

Oh grobagsforever I'm so sorry to hear that. There are no words.

Have you seen the posts where people are messaging Solo? I see you're in Surrey, I'm sure if anyone of us (I'm not) is near to you we'll let you know.

I hope you have friends and family close by - even sending you pictures of flowers and wine seems inappropriate somehow.

This thread's only been going a few days, but we all seem a supportive and lovely lot, so please stick around.

Talk to us about anything you want, or nothing at all. I'm sending you as many virtual hugs as you can handle.