What's good is being promoted, how about what's absolutely shit?

[fatedtopretend]

There are loads of threads saying "it's hard being a single parent, but it's sooooo worth it" etc.
I want one that is blunt and honest and pissed off when it needs to be.

I'll start.

Tonight I want to be dressed up with my best "fuck me" outfit on. I want bottles of corona and tequila shots and mad, sweaty, horrible sex when we get in. Instead I am watching house alone. Nothing wrong with house but I just feel sad.

[Lioninthesun]

Fated just look after yourself and get a dishwasher
It's so hard when you are ill, but it won't be forever.

[Ladymoods]

I'm having a shit day too, just feel completely isolated today. I sat on my own this evening in complete silence, nothing on TV, didn't feel in the mood for music, I just wanted some company, someone different and over the age of 6 to talk to.

I think this is the first time I've actually started to feel lonely.

[Lioninthesun]

Lady it can get like that. On the flipside I had a pg friend of mine over crying her eyes out over her idiot husband. I don't think they will still be together by the time baby No 2 comes along . I know this is a thread about the shit we have to do and deal with but last night was, for me, a huge reminder of why this way is far simpler.

Hope you are feeling a little better today fated

[Minime85]

Oh a bad day today. After a really awful week it culminated in bloke I was seeing going cold and that ended and my dds at their dads all weekend so I've spent a lovely sunny day on my own when all I wanted to do is be with them at the park. It's so shit and hurts so much. Cried and cried today for having to live this life I never asked for and my dds certainly don't deserve it. Sorry really bad day :(

[Bigbird01]

Mini I felt a lot like that yesterday too. I ended up asking my ex if I could keep the DCs for the night - even though they were only going to his at bedtime. Felt like I could justify another evening sat in with my own company if I had them asleep upstairs.

The day was really topped off by me going up to bed to find the cat had been sick on the sheepskin rug next to my bed. And yes - I stood in it!

[Minime85]

Bigbird bless u it sounds like we are in very similar places. I hope you've had a better day today. Ive asked dcs dad if I can keep them Thursday as only come back tonight and then he is having them again overnight Friday. Thankfully he has agreed. Need to get out of this rut I'm in. And it's my birthday tomorrow which is the last thing I'm in the mood for :(

[warmleatherette]

Happy birthday minime85.It was mine last Tuesday so I know what it's like. Hope you're having a good day.

[Lioninthesun]

Happy Birthday Minime!
Hope you had a lovely day.
Did you get your computer sorted out btw?

[Bigbird01]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MINI

I hope you have managed to have a decent day. My birthday was a bit weird this year - I ended up deliberately arranging an evening work thing to stop myself sitting at home on my own. I'm 40 next year - really hope my life has moved on by then!

I've been brighter today. Beardy is very chatty (see Dating thread) so definitely a lot less lonely. Up days and down days...

[Meglet]

More what's shit (I'm hormonal and exhausted today), 'no I can't help with the PTA because I've got the dc's'. 'I'd love to train for the half marathon, but I don't have time to train around work and the kids'.

Being so restricted drives me insane.

[bibliomania]

Can I join in the hormonal pity party?

Disclaimer - mostly I'm doing fine, yadda yadda.

But I'm a bit sad because someone who used to be close friend when we were lps together has dropped me now that she's with a new man and pregnant. I miss her and I'm hurt that I was so dispensable now that she's playing happy families.

[Lioninthesun]

Oh no Bib. I had similar just as I became pregnant - a friend who was LP got with a guy and completely disappeared. We are friendly again now, but we had a bit bust up in between with a fair bit of finger pointing. She is in a bubble at the moment, but she will probably be wanting her friends back in 6 months time (my general estimated honeymoon period with any new man )
I'm waiting for bloods to come back to see why my periods have gone irregular. I've been having mood swings for some time and hoping it isn't thyroid or perimenopause (damn you MN for making me aware!). Hopefully they can set me straight - hate flipping from rage to tears at the flick of a switch.

[bibliomania]

Thanks for the sympathy, lion. I don't find it that easy to make friends and because I've moved around a lot, I don't have very many where I live, so I'm not great about someone withdrawing your friendship.

Hormones can be a bugger, can't they? Hate the way they can hold you to hostage. Hoping your bloodwork has a helpful outcome.

[bibliomania]

their not your.

[Minime85]

Thanks warm lion and bigbird birthday wasn't as bad as I thought and glad to be on the other side of it now.

New laptop purchased so got to somehow pay for it now

[Ladymoods]

I had two single female friends and now both have found a boyfriend in the last few weeks, so I am literally the only single woman I know :( I wish I didn't find that so depressing.

Hope you had a lovely birthday mini!

[Ihavemyownname]

Can I join with a pitty post please
I'm going to have to turn down a chance of going out again this weekend because i just can't afford it And if I could of gone I was to chicken to ask my dm or his gp to babysit.
Do not only am I feeling like the poor friend I also feel like a let down as it friends birthday. It wouldn't be to bad but she is lp too but her mum and sister help her out a lot with childcare for work and going out I'm quite jealous at all the free time and social life she has.
Thank you I'm going to crawl back under my rock I was hiding under

Hope you had a great birthday mini

[TodaysAGoodDay]

I'd like someone there to talk to at the weekend, all of DS's friends have families, and I feel so sorry for him (us both if I'm being honest) being alone for two days. Especially Sundays. I hate Sundays. DS is the only one in his class with divorced parents, and I think of all of those other families together having Sunday lunch, and all the chatting/laughing/arguing that goes with it. When the two of us do go out at the weekend, everywhere we go there are parents with 2.4 kids running round together, I sit at a table on my own while my son plays at softplay, I sit on a bench alone at the park watching my son play by himself, I am so tired of us being alone. But I'm too scared to trust another man again, so I guess this is all self-inflicted really.

Enough of this, I don't generally go in for self-pity, but you did ask.

[Minime85]

Today I completely understand where u are coming from. I was often doing those types of things alone anyway due to ex'a job but now I feel completely alone and everyone else does seem to be together. What's silly is people holding hands gets me the most. I would like someone to want to hold my hand.

I'm only single person I know too. Everyone else is married or with someone so how I'm supposed to find someone I don't know.

And eldest needs new tap shoes so got to rush home from work to get them tonight. It's like I've got a never ending pot of money- which I haven't- and just my wages to rely on. Ex gives me money but it doesn't cover everything by any means when u think of clubs, parties, clothing, food etc. god I am feeling sorry for myself again today. Any ideas of how to get of out this rutt gratefully appreciated

[TodaysAGoodDay]

Thanks mini, it's nice to know others understand, I just wish I wasn't so bloody isolated where I live, the middle of rural Cumbria, and wish there were more MNers out here. I don't particularly want another partner, I don't think I'll ever trust another man now, but I do like the idea of a relationship, and the company it brings. All I wanted when I was with my EA ex was for him to look at me and smile. Nothing else. Needless to say, the only time he smiled was when he was laughing at me. So now I notice every time anyone at all smiles at me, it really makes my day, even if it's from a complete stranger.

I don't think there is any way out of the rut mini, other than a new partner or enough time to let the kids grow up, generally years. Looks like some of us are in for the long-haul, certainly I am, and I have come to accept it, mostly. I've discovered I have an insatiable appetite for books at the moment, and I can read a lot more now than I could at any time when I was married, so there are benefits

[Bigbird01]

I've just had a really bizarre evening with the ex. He has suddenly decided that it is imperative we get divorced NOW! (I know he has a met someone, so wouldn't be surprised if he was a trying to 'clear the way'). It got quite stressy at times, but by the end of the night he was telling (in slightly more detail than I want to know) about the ladies he has met since we split up and asking more information than I was comfortable giving about my love life (and giving me top tips how to improve it!)

He has gone now and I just feel the need for someone to put their arms around me and tell me it's ok. It's not that it has been a bad evening! just made me think about all the times he made me feel very insecure and lonely...

[Lioninthesun]

Ah Bigbird that sounds horrendous! Try not to take to heart any 'tips' as chances are you bruised his ego at some point and he was trying to make you feel bad. My ex told me I'd only ever end up with fat bald men (no idea why!?) but I was lucky he was a bit unimaginative.

Are you sure he isn't just trying to make you think about him again? It took a long time for me to realise ex would just pop up and text abuse when he was having a shit time simply to rile me again. I can't imagine anything worse than your night though. Try to think back to all of the things he said were good in the relationship (probably when you were in it - my ex told me I had amazing muscles, erm, down there... and he could feel me more than anyone else he'd ever met - for example) and see it for what it is - him just trying to show you he's waved his willy about and wants you to feel jealous. I think he is trying to put you on the spot and see how it pans out for him.

Hope you are OK now. You don't need a hug, you need x

[Minime85]

Sorry to hear that bigbird . My job for tomorrow evening is to organise my divorce paperwork and get it sent off. Hope someone I'm rl can give u a hug soon. Sending u a mnet hug

[Bigbird01]

Thanks Lion.
Yes - I think there probably was some positioning going on... He was very controlling, right up to the point I asked him to move out. I do suspect there is elements of him trying to regain that control.

He was encouraging me to have a relationship which I know is completely wrong for me in the long run on the grounds that "let's face it, any sex is better than no sex - see it as a placeholder" (His words...). Gave me an interesting insight into the male psyche!!.

[Lioninthesun]

Urgh! No guessing why you left that gem but at least he was being honest!

Try to get some sleep and just be relieved he can place hold with someone else for the next few months