What's good is being promoted, how about what's absolutely shit?

[fatedtopretend]

There are loads of threads saying "it's hard being a single parent, but it's sooooo worth it" etc.
I want one that is blunt and honest and pissed off when it needs to be.

I'll start.

Tonight I want to be dressed up with my best "fuck me" outfit on. I want bottles of corona and tequila shots and mad, sweaty, horrible sex when we get in. Instead I am watching house alone. Nothing wrong with house but I just feel sad.

Not the point of the thread but it really won't help people struggling to make that decision. Au contraire - if this thread helps just one person realise life is better alone than with someone really crap, let alone abusive, then I think we will all sleep better. How could you call this person your friend and not advise her to do the same!? I feel terrible for a friend who has been trying to patch together a relationship for 2 years - he's slept with someone else and treated her like a fool, they argue like cats and dogs and it is upsetting their DD. I have (and will continue) to tell her she was better and stronger for the 4 months they separated - which she knows (as soon as she felt better he popped up again), and I am open about the fact I wouldn't be in her situation for love nor money! More than anything I feel for her DD having to see the way they treat each other. It is anything but healthy.

I broke up with a violent partner before I knew I was pregnant, he has nothing to do with her, of that I'm glad.

I started this thread because I wanted to vent. I wanted to say that sometimes there are really shitty things that make you feel even shittier that only go along with being a lone parent. I don't want to be blamed for starting a thread that has made someone stay in an awful situation.

fated don't worry about it. most of us lone parents totally get what yr saying.

Fated I was so happy when i found this thread it was a great idea and made me realise i wasn't the only one going through shitty times.
Relating to everyone's posts here and having a laugh at the funny bits made me feel better so don't worry what one negative person said on here when the rest of us are with you on this :)

Fated, this thread is a big comfort to me too. I don't have anyone else about who understands what it's like, so feel comfortable sharing here.

I'm quite offended that someone could be cross about us sharing our experiences in this way.

Fwiw, I have no idea what it's like to have an ex involved in my dc's life (he wasn't even there when I was pregnant). There are so many different types of lone parent, just as there are so many types of family make-ups in general, but lone parents topic and this thread are my sanctuary.

Thank you fated for starting the thread.

Theincidental, you sound like me, I found out I was pregnant, told him and that was it, I was on my own the full time.
There isn't a day off ever, no "dd is at her dad's" day, today I want to ring in sick just to sleep and have a bit of time to myself.

fated I hear you!!
you are so worn out that you feel sick and yet you still have to carry on.
hope yr day is ok?

Dp and I have split up last night so I am going to ring in sick and move all of my stuff from his. Buses with bin bags is such a good look

oh no fated

hope yr ok?

Xxxxxx

Not even a little bit ok, I know it's nowhere near the situation of a lot of people on mn but I am still very sad x

doesn't matter what other people's situation is. mn is not a competition. it is a place to share and be heard and supported by people who hopefully have a pretty good idea of how you might be feeling.
xxx

I know how you feel fated on my own fultime here too an im bloody knackered half the time.

Sorry to hear about you and your DP hope you have somewhere to go xx

Oh fated I'm sorry, I hope you are ok? Do you have a place of your own as well or were you living together?

I just wanted to say thank you for this thread too, I feel so alone sometimes with all this bloody responsibility, and no one understands what that feels like apart from you lot. It means a lot that some one "gets" me, and that I'm not the only one banging my head against the wall.

I really hope your as ok as can be x

Fated i'm sorry to hear that, i hope things get better for you soon. Hugs

We weren't living together, we've only been together about 2 years, I did think that we would end up together for life though

Yep, a weekend of seeing everyone out either with their friend or with their families. Me and dd had plans with dp, I need to make new plans sharpish

Me too, fancy a glass of wine but got none in. Trying to make do with the gogglebox drunk couple to make me feel like I've got friends round!

Thank you muchly, I know it wouldn't help, especially as it is dance class and I have the waggy ladies to contend with in the morning

Although, I have just found a packet of cigs with one left in in my handbag so I have 2 left for the day now instead of just the one
Sometimes I like to infuriate the stuck up nosey couple next door by standing on my doorstep having a cig instead of going into the back garden, I like to play chavvy single mum!