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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Help me laugh… whats the most pathetic excuse for not paying child support?

173 replies

converselover · 04/04/2014 10:45

Just had an email… 6 years of arrears, nothing since 2011... a man who earns twice what I do … Apparently he can't pay anything right now because he "needs" a flat in both London and New York he's a bit short on money also he's got to travel to south america this summer and the airfare is really a lot… meanwhile I am struggling to pay the grocery and bills for me and my son.
give me a laugh - is there something worse than this ...

OP posts:

Lioninthesun · 20/04/2014 14:13

Trouble is the men who give the run round use up all of the CSA's time which means the men who are paying get shafted because the fees have to come in to cover all of the extra work needed.
It should be a policeable offence not to pay for your child and the police should be called in after 2 missed payments and warnings and it should go on record. I'd like to think any woman who knows a man capable of doing this would run a mile rather than consider having more children with him, but wonder how many men actually tell their date...

CuttedUpPear · 20/04/2014 14:29

From my XP: "The Government gives you money to bring up DS"

CuttedUpPear · 20/04/2014 14:31

Oh and "If I pay child support then I won't be able to pay my rent and (XP's older child) will be homeless and it will be YOUR fault".

DollyTwat · 20/04/2014 15:19

My exh says that if he gets a job, the awful CSA will take lots of money from him and he's not prepared to eat stake bread and have no spare money

My heart bleeds obviously

moldingsunbeams · 20/04/2014 15:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mofo2610 · 24/04/2014 00:20

"Can't pay the £20 a week we agreed as I've no shifts on the doors"

"Can't pay the £20 a week because I need to buy a car/pay for the gym/ get my hair cut/buy steroids"

"Can't pay the £20 a week as I need to pay my student debt for a course I couldn't be bothered finishing"

"Oh can't pay you the back log from July to Dec as I'm moving to America"

junemarie103 · 07/09/2014 14:22

the latest for your entertainment ladies… no maintenance since 2011… enforcement proceedings in process… this years travel schedule and two homes ("do you call that a home" Yes dear ExH, I do)

Dear June

I am glad to hear that you have finally decided to follow up the procedures with the court, I look forward to have this finally settled in a way that is fair and I have said several times before considers all the variables.

About the trips that you mention:

To Japan, This was a extreme financial effort for me that I was only able to staying in a small hotel for my whole visit.
To the USA:
I had to pay all the ticket and travel expenses, including car rental, attractions, etc. during the peak season paying the highest fees to accommodate your summer schedule.
Trip to South America:
I am glad that you are informed about my trips. Given that you mention it.

Homes: I rent a one bedroom apartment in XXX and a one in London, is that your definition of homes?

I have repeatedly tried to negotiate with you about this subject but you have resourced to make ludicrous accusations, insulting me. Again I am happy to contribute to XXX life expenses, and look forward to the hearings at the Court.

laura0007 · 08/09/2014 13:38

My ex made himself bankrupt the month before my son was born to get out of paying maintenance. DS is now 7 months and I'm fighting tooth and nail to get the £7 a week he is owed from his arse of a father.

bibliomania · 08/09/2014 16:25

Aw bless, a small hotel in Japan, June? How the man suffers.

Five years after leaving him, CSA has put in place an order to get money from his employer. I haven't see any of it yet, but live in hope.

His latest arguments for not paying: "But you never asked". How come I've emails from you telling me you'll go to court if I don't stop being mean to you by going to the CSA?

And possibly my favourite: "This will damage my relationship with dd. You are always damaging my relationship with her". Yes folks, paying maintenance will damage his fatherhood. Because he'll have a bad feeling inside him and, struggle gallantly though he may, he will be unable to stop it spilling over to his interactions with dd (6).

I'm so sorry for her sake I inflicted this father on her. Should've done better at picking.

junemarie103 · 08/09/2014 17:24

yes bless, just a tiny hotel. not a big one at all.

also had the "you are damaging your child by asking for financial support" … WHAT???

and yep - how could I have picked such a twat?… so sorry DS that this tosser is your dad.

Whatever21 · 08/09/2014 19:49

I have other responsibilities now, not just the DCs.

"Like what?"

Well OW and her 2 kids need looking after.

" I thought her EX was paying £800pcm, for his DCS!

well yes but they need more than he pays, they are my priority now!

starlight1234 · 08/09/2014 22:50

Wow they need more than £800 per month... I am not sure how they would manage with my Ex's £5 through CSA

bibliomania · 09/09/2014 09:28

they are my priority now!

God, that's shit.

kinkyfuckery · 09/09/2014 11:24

My ex does pay maintenance, through private arrangement, but has had his moments of trying to get out of it during the years.

"Why should I give you money this week when I had them most of it?"

"Why should I give you money when you get all my taxes from the Government anyway?" (he is minimum wage so doubt he pays much in tax anyway!)

"Why should I give you money to go out drinking?"

"YOU wanted this! YOU ended things! YOU wanted to be a single parent. Now you should have to live like one. Why should I fund it?"

Whatever21 · 09/09/2014 19:13

priorities - I know!

Similar conversation, when I said, when you have kids ou lose the right to put your needs first all the time. He said I have other priorities now and listed then :
OW is my first priority and her happiness - ergo her DCS as well,
my job because I have to support everyone
then I deserve some time for myself
then the DCS

Fits with his ability to see them, contribute and when she barks he drops everything literally and runs. It is pathetic that a 44 yr old man runs around like a lap dog- but he does.

Tinyminx · 09/09/2014 20:17

They are such fuckwombles. Liars.
My friend's ex said he couldn't afford maintenance over summer (even though he's a teacher and salaried) then appeared with 3 massive tattoos. I assume he shall feed his children his ams. Priorities.

Mine comes up with all sorts. 'No ready cash' then a £65 cab home from a night out. Meanwhile I'm in debt for school uniform.

bibliomania · 10/09/2014 11:11

I assume he shall feed his children his ams.

Heh.

But I have An Announcement. After a year of trying and getting my MP involved, I have for the first time ever got a CSA payment (241 including arrears). I intend to blow the lot on champagne.

(Okay, not really, in fact it will go towards paying off debts incurred thanks to my ex. But might as well play up to his imaginings).

HereBeHubbubs · 10/09/2014 13:21

'Why should I pay for my children when the government gives you £33 a week Child Benefit, £112 a week Child Tax Credit and £35 a week Income Support, plus all your rent and council tax is paid for in benefits? '...

Because you earn thousands a month untaxed buying and selling specialist goods on eBay and if you helped contribute to your children's upbringing, taxpayers wouldn't have to be giving me £720 a month until I find a job.

Why the government hasn't clicked that chasing fathers for contributions would save on the benefits bill is beyond my scope of understanding. I vagauely assume it's all swings and roundabouts and it's cheaper to keep doling out benefits than chase absent parents

DaisyFlowerChain · 10/09/2014 18:06

It's no cheaper for the state as child support is not deducted from the state so people claim both. There are not many people I would imagine who would just take the child support and not claim from the state.

Labour changed it and now there's no incentive for the government to get involved.

Star8369 · 11/09/2014 09:45

my ex refuses to pay as he doesn't see dd but then refuses to see her and has went so far as blocking me from fb/email and changing his phone number so I can't contact him

tweedlezee · 11/09/2014 10:08

Apparently I wont spend mine on the kids. He wants receipts for all the things i spend my money on and he will give me half....he hasn;t yet given me half.

Flossiex2 · 11/09/2014 10:31

My dc's father genuinely does not think he has a duty/obligation/need to financially support them because he thinks I bring in enough money.

He does not contribute to dc's school expenses yet saw fit to complain about the children's uniform to social services.

He claims he is in massive debt yet managed a once in a lifetime holiday 'for health reasons.'

If he ever gets paid employment (not cash in hand) you will knock me down with a feather.

BruthasTortoise · 11/09/2014 19:04

My DSSs mum fundamentally refused to pay maintenance because "women don't pay maintenance." Mind you she also believed that she should be able to claim the child benefit for DC she wasn't seeing never mind actually supporting as "women get the family allowance." She has interesting gender ideas.

honey86 · 13/09/2014 11:14

Because he doesnt have unsupervised contact with his dd(cos of dv) so he doesnt see why he should contribute money.
Also he doesnt want his ex to have any control of his hard earned cash

honey86 · 13/09/2014 11:19

Cant afford it.

few weeks later goes on a bender in magaluf...

Well u can afford a bender in magaluf...

Yeah but i well deserve that holiday.

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