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Original poster

Help me laugh… whats the most pathetic excuse for not paying child support?

173 replies

converselover · 04/04/2014 10:45

Just had an email… 6 years of arrears, nothing since 2011... a man who earns twice what I do … Apparently he can't pay anything right now because he "needs" a flat in both London and New York he's a bit short on money also he's got to travel to south america this summer and the airfare is really a lot… meanwhile I am struggling to pay the grocery and bills for me and my son.
give me a laugh - is there something worse than this ...

OP posts:
gamerchick · 09/04/2014 20:37

I asked for child support once... my ex laughed in my face, dug in his picket and produced 30p - 10p for each kid. He said I was with that mong (actual) that took me on, so he can pay for them.

So he has ever since. The husband took us all on.

However if the ex brings up anything in the house he deems to be his, I remind him that he owes me 'now' nearly 5 years backdated child support and that includes the 20 grand lumper he got a few years ago which he didn't spend on any of the kids. He goes silent.

YNK · 09/04/2014 20:44

ExH telling a CSA tribunal that he didn't owe arrears because the children lived with him.

That would be the same children he claimed I was denying contact with him in a Court Report, then?

He also objected me offering the court report as evidence, as it was a confidential court document!!

The tribunal agreed with him about that and would not make any award to me for maintenance!

I wish I had been a member of MN way back then (1998)!

aliciaflorrick · 09/04/2014 20:48

That's awful news for me. The OW has three kids with three fathers all who pay up, have their kids at weekends and mud week and she will still take my kids money. She's good with the kids when they're with ex, but as I say 22 says last year, she's not exactly pushing him to maintain contact. Still he takes her toddler to soft play, gets up early with him to give her a break all the things he's never done for his own DCs.

LadyMaryLikesCake · 09/04/2014 20:57

There's a deduction cap for children they live with, Alicia. Have a look on here www.gov.uk/how-child-maintenance-is-worked-out/how-the-child-support-agency-works-out-child-maintenance

15% is deducted from his income for 1 child, 20% for 2 children and 25% for 3 or more children, so it's still worthwhile doing.

If he's earning 50k a year, they deduct 25% for the children that he lives with, so the 15% for his child is taken off the 35k (or whatever it is) remaining from his salary. His maintenance contribution would then be £5,250 (assuming he earns 50k).

JaneinReading · 09/04/2014 21:00

I'm more interested in fathers who choose to have no contact than fathers who don't pay (although the state is more interested in the ones who don't pay as tax payers pick up the cost in the benefits bill - however fathers who don't help in a sense cause financial loss - cost of full time childcare for those of us who work full time and have our children 365 nights a year and would be happy with 50/50 (or even one night a year without the children!) as their lack of childcare/contact causes loss to mothers who work full time.

BertieBotts · 09/04/2014 21:15

My ex couldn't pay because he had a new baby. That he apparently planned even though she got pregnant the first day they got together Confused Well, shit!!! He thought that one through!

He then claimed he was too upset to see DS when they broke up and he immediately contested paternity over the other kid, for months. That was about three years ago and DS doesn't even remember who he is any more, we have to tell him and show him photos so that he doesn't think DH is his real dad and get a shock later down the line Hmm

WanderingAway · 13/04/2014 00:11

My exh doesnt even make excuses he just doesnt pay. He does what he can to avoid them. He moves house or leaves his job. His new wife happily allows this to happen. I will be doing a little told you so dance when he leaves her with 4 kids to support by herself. She will have no right to moan about it either because she supported him in not paying for his first child but yet happily had 4 kids with him.

notthegirlnextdoor · 13/04/2014 22:19

Ex didn't pay it last May because him and his 19 year old student girlfriend were going abroad and be needed the money.

He earns close to 30k and lives with his parents and pays for fuck all.

He's also not paid because he "forgot it was pay day"

In the last 3 years the only time its been in my bank account on time is twice. I always have to apend time ringing emailing chasing him for payment.

wellthatsdoneit · 14/04/2014 19:04

I'm up for a campaign. Just tell me where and when an I'll be there with bells on.

jacks365 · 15/04/2014 18:34

Our youngest dd is 16 and she was not quite 1 the last time he bothered seeing the dc, we have 3. He went self employed fully (had worked full time plus the company we set up together) when the csa caught up with him, he later moved abroad when he realised he couldn't hide his income. He refused to agree to a divorce so that stalled until years later. It all came back to bite him though when I finally found the strength to fight it years later.

His loss he can never regain seeing our amazing dc growing up. He may live in a house worth millions but our home is filled with love and laughter and that is priceless.

Rainydays123 · 15/04/2014 20:00

Im not doing it,its your own fault you should of got rid. Yes,I to wonder why I had a baby with such a wanker.

PourquoiTuGachesTaVie · 15/04/2014 20:05

My dad once claimed he had no knowledge of his decade long marriage to my mum and the three children it produced.

Twat succeeded in not paying maintenance for 13 years. I think he paid £5 a week for the last year my brother was still considered a child. My sister and I were then too old for him to have to pay for.

GossipWitch · 15/04/2014 21:28

After taking our ds on holiday for 1 week in the month, I'm only going to pay you 45 quid this month because I took him on holiday for a week.

I think 60 quid a month is sufficient because you get tax credits and child benefit for him.

From ds "mum can I get a new game or a pair of new trainers?"
me " you got new trainers 2 months ago and you can buy a game out of your birthday or pocket money, so no"
ds " but dad gives you money for me every month just get it out of that!"
me " come on son were going shopping" after getting the weekly shop and spending £120 on food and using my card for half of it and his dads money for the other half, he finally realised what a stingy twunt his father is.

Another time, he asked me if I could get him a winter coat, so I said yes but got to wait for dp to get paid at the end of the month to get it, low and behold his father brought him one. Couldn't bear the thought of another man providing clothes for his child, although he provides everything else. Hmm

GossipWitch · 15/04/2014 21:57

To be fair its better than nothing and a lot more than some.

Noregrets78 · 17/04/2014 12:26

i don't bother asking for cash as he keeps walking out of jobs. then a couple of days ago he said he'd have DD overnight if I paid him to...

Cupid5tunt · 18/04/2014 10:45

Got the "Expected Payments Plan" through the post today. First payment of monthly allowance due by 09.05.14 with and addition of £87 to go toward the fairly extensive arrears.

Chances of receiving that? Probably zero! He should have received the same letter and he will be extremely pissed off though, Happy Easter ExH Easter Grin

I have changed my phone number now due to abusive texts, phonecalls etc so he will probably go on a mini rampage of texts today and I will be blissfully unaware of one single bit of shite that he comes away with.

Hideitinmytummy · 19/04/2014 08:15

My ex turned up on the doorstep saying he had liver failure and would literally be forced to drink if I pursued him for CSA. I would therefore be committing manslaughter Shock

I think I have got my own back though as I have been stringing him and his new fiancée along on here for years. Have managed to get them both completely out of our lives and pay a pittance to DD, just to show what an arse he is, as well as a very funny trip to Court that I would pay money to re-watch on my deathbed. They have such boring lives they love jumping through every hoop! No idea how they haven't figured it out yet though, they must think I wander blindly into most threads giving background about him for no apparent reason. It's like stomping for worms. You guys will never know what is true and what I made up for fun

Sam - she's fat and already looks like her mother, she has what you used to call 'moo cow eyes' and you know a little part of you is worrying your second child will inherit those. She also got the heart necklace you said you were getting for me and is probably being sold Melbourne to live, with no idea of the real reason. I's ad how her holding an automatic weapon still floats your boat - remember saying you'd take me to one as it would be hot? No, your profile pics just show how little you have changed.

There, that should keep them confused for a bit.
Or you guys could actually get a life and be as 'happy' as you try to make out? Just a thought...

Love MN Grin

foolsgold75 · 20/04/2014 00:22

My ex is claiming that because he has paid over CSA guidelines for 10 years on a Court Order he's not paying anymore!! Silly me should have known that I should feed my son up from the ages of 3 to 13 because then his father was happy to see him starve!!

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore · 20/04/2014 09:37

My STBXH spent almost £300 on his mobile this month (and almost £200 each of the last two months) and bought an engagement ring for his new "fiancé" so of course he couldn't pay this month, as he states he is not working. Hmm

He's quit his job and of course is now helping raise his "fiancé's" children, so he can't afford his own children anymore. Hmm Prat.

Lioninthesun · 20/04/2014 09:57

Oh yes, my ex hasn't paid on time since Jan and has a new fiancée - I imagine she is wearing the equivalent of DD's monthly nappies on her ring finger Wink

Ihavemyownname · 20/04/2014 11:14

Ds dad doesn't pay because why should he he doesn't get to see him Hmm
He seems to be indenial about why he can't see him and has forgotten It's his own doing why he doesn't have a relationship with ds and not mine fucking arse.
most of what happened in my pregnancy and the first year of ds life was not my choice and had been decicated by him and his action past and present but I still had to do it Angry

It's ok because I'm still the evil ex who makes sure da has roof over his head and food to eat and clothes to wear and recieveing the extra support that he needs.
While you do what you like smoke drink take drugs and shack up with other woman

Lioninthesun · 20/04/2014 12:39

Oh yes, you have to love the pay per view mentality. Obviously when they don't see them the children don't need anything to survive Hmm Sounds like my ex who dithered about for a year 'trying to decide' whether he wanted to be a dad or not. News Flash: She was born ergo you are.
Glad to hear he is out of your life - let the other women pick up his pieces and see where that gets either of them.

TickleMyTitsTillFriday · 20/04/2014 13:23

We so need a campaign. The child support agency are fucking awful, my stupid ex has a liability order for over £3000 against him, the bailliffs are being shit now too.
I want his driving licence taken away, or for him to go to prison, if they have the powers they should use them. But csa told me they won't do that unless they know he can pay?! Why?! I have been to my MP so many times, its the only way to get the csa to do anything at all.

hellsbells76 · 20/04/2014 13:47

"I can't give you anything, I'm on the bones of my arse and about to get evicted."

He was standing outside our local with a pint and a fag at the time Hmm

Lioninthesun · 20/04/2014 14:09

I know - the guy at CSA I spoke to recently said they can tell 90% of the NRP are earning more and getting money off the record. He said it was very depressing working for a system that was so broken and seeing how many men would rather give them the run around and pay CSA more than their own kids, like some big game. He did say they are making some changes soon (not just the added charges to couples who can't do mediation) so hopefully something might change. I do think a petition or something might at least raise awareness for the general public. It is certainly one of those things that you don't see or understand until it happens to you.