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Lone parents

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Original poster

Help me laugh… whats the most pathetic excuse for not paying child support?

173 replies

converselover · 04/04/2014 10:45

Just had an email… 6 years of arrears, nothing since 2011... a man who earns twice what I do … Apparently he can't pay anything right now because he "needs" a flat in both London and New York he's a bit short on money also he's got to travel to south america this summer and the airfare is really a lot… meanwhile I am struggling to pay the grocery and bills for me and my son.
give me a laugh - is there something worse than this ...

OP posts:
Monetbyhimself · 06/04/2014 16:09

I work therefore I don't need maintenance.

I buy the kids clothes from Zara and Next therefore I don't need maintenance.

I'd fritter it away on 'crap' therefore I don't deserve maintenance.

And the best one ever, OW wants to be a SAHM Grin so he has other priorities now.

fedupbutfine · 06/04/2014 16:10

This from the mouth of an EX friend (female) My bf should nt have to pay maintence because wife and children's mother does nt work and gets almost as much as bf earns in benefits.I was speechless.It is ironic because she gets every penny she can from her ex and she genuinly believes that if as a mum you choose to stay at home with your children it nulls responsibility for fathers to pay maintenance.

Hmmm...does she also believe that if has a 'good' job (whatever that means) and earns 'enough' to be able to support the children, then the father is also off the hook? This is the usual response you get...... my partner's wife is a professional lapdancer earning at least £2k a night whilst we work 300 hours a week between us at minimum wage so why on earth should we have to pay towards his children whilst our children go without?

LadyMaryLikesCake · 06/04/2014 18:09

That's why my ex doesn't know how much I earn, fedup Smile I was in dire straights (sick and unable to work) when I asked for an increase a couple of years ago (it had never been increased, despite him getting a better paid job so I didn't think I was being unreasonable). Instead he stopped paying Hmm. I took him to court as he's not in the UK so I've seen all of his accounts. I'd like to gloat at him as I now earn more than he does but it's a bit petty. The fool should have increased it a little as the court almost doubled it. He also owes thousands in arrears.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 06/04/2014 19:52

"My other ex wife stitched me up I'm not getting into that again,besides your rich you don't need anything"

fatedtopretend · 06/04/2014 20:21

"The £150 a month means my wife is having to pay for her own car now".

My heart bleeds Hmm

ICanSeeYou · 06/04/2014 23:02

"you get enough for them with the benefits you get, we managed fine on that amount" "your just after more money" "you get more a week then I get a fortnight"

from exp who turned down a min wage job as my child maintenance would go up from £7 a week.

Glampinglove · 07/04/2014 00:36

My ex stopped maintenance for a while because I told him that I didn't want our child to be around his convicted rapist of a brother, apparently I was being unreasonable.

I was repeatedly accused of spending all of his money on myself and that I dressed our child in rags.

Monetbyhimself · 07/04/2014 15:29

Glamping I'd spend mine on gin and shoes Grin

sezamcgregor · 08/04/2014 12:24

Monet I do hope that's supermarket own brand gin and nothing so frivolous as Gordon's or, God forbid, Bombay Sapphire!

bluedolphin12 · 08/04/2014 13:12

my ex has just stopped paying after 8 years. He is with some1 else now who has a child. Just makes me sick that he pays for her son ,but not for his own!!

WeAreEternal · 08/04/2014 14:28

My friends ex told her that just because he was stupid enough to let her 'trick him' into getting her pregnant with their two DCs doesn't mean he is responsible for funding her 'extravagant lifestyle'.
He told her he will pay for 50% of the DCs expenses, but only ones she had receipts for.
Rent, heating, water, gas and food do not count as DC related expenses as she would be paying them regardless of wether she had DCs or not, so they don't count, apparently.

He criticises everything she does and demands that she refund him 50% of anything he spends on the DCs when he has them for the day, which is usually once a month (as he is a very busy man, apparently)

If he decided she is buying nappies that are too overpriced, ie, pampers when she could get value ones he would refuse to pay her anything.
He refused to pay anything towards the formula either because it was 'extravagant and lazy', and he wasn't going to pay out just because she couldn't be bothered to breast feed.

She has been dealing with her for 7 years like this and I think she deserves a medal, he is a nightmare.

She works full time and has to rely on her elderly mother for childcare as she can't afford after school clubs and he won't contribute because the childcare is for her benefit not his so he shouldn't have to pay anything.

And all the while he is living in a massive house driving a fancy sports car and splashing the cash on fancy gadgets and young girlfriends.
But the csa can't help as he is self employed and runs his own company and there of no evidence that he is earning, despite the fact that his company has products on the shelves of a lot of shops and made a £££,£££ deal with tesco two years ago and most stores now stock his products, apparently he is only just scraping by.

It make me sick that so many NRPs can get away with this.

LadyMaryLikesCake · 08/04/2014 15:18

He can't do that, bluedolphin. You should go to the CSA.

Monetbyhimself · 08/04/2014 16:29

Forget Bombay Saphire. I only wear Manolos or Jimmy Choos Grin

Bloody depressing thread though. Pathetic.

ElectricalBanana · 08/04/2014 16:34

My ex told me to not say anything about his very lucrative part time job on top of his full time job ( he did training) because he had to learn to drive as I had left him in the shit.

He didn't see the kids again and rang the CSA on every birthday to check if he still needed to pay. No birthday cards, no Xmas cards jack shit....

LadyMaryLikesCake · 08/04/2014 16:44

I find it bizarre that 'society' thinks that it's OK for absent parents to behave this way towards their children. Maybe if people did something, a campaign maybe, it would change things.

Admiraltea · 08/04/2014 16:56

Mine deducted if he spent on the kids and then went a few months not paying because "I don't really feel like it".

Now under CSA and they have managed to track down his employer... but dreading when new agency etc comes in as so hard to get anything out of him.

bluedolphin12 · 08/04/2014 21:00

Id be definitely up for joining a campaign ladymary!! I was only getting £23 a wk so have decided against csa for now, in the vague hope he will start paying again! Although reading through this thread does not fill me with hope for that.
Well done to us all for managing and picking up the tab for EVERYTHING though!!

justtoomessy · 08/04/2014 21:49

Men are such twats. Luckily my ex is in the Army so it comes straight out of his wages Grin Something he isn't happy about because as he has chosen not to see his son he thinks he shouldn't pay lucky for me the army doesn't see it that way.

JaneinReading · 08/04/2014 22:18

I had to pay him a large sum on the divorce. He pays nothing and doesn't see them most of the time. His loss. Perhaps our gain.

LadyM - you could do a sort of mothers for justice campaign - this man (anonymous details) has not seen his children for a year; this man has failed to turn up for contact 25 times; this man pays nothing etc etc.)
If you did a survey most people in the country would think women deny contact and that there is no problem of men not choosing to see children and yet I suspect the latter is a bigger problem than the former. (The former is pretty awful too of course).

NeedsAsockamnesty · 08/04/2014 22:26

blue

£23 a week? You know most CSA assessments are under £10 a week

mummyOF4darlings · 08/04/2014 22:56

Find these men horrid the ones who actually have money are the worse. Im 1 of 4 and when my parents split up he never paid a penny to us used every excuse under the sun. Jus glad my kids dads are the opposite

bluedolphin12 · 08/04/2014 23:08

Needs-No,I didn't realise that.i thought I was doing badly at £23 especially as when it was calculated 8 years ago, by the csa, his earnings were and still are quite high-its just his boss did some nifty bookkeeping!! Does anyone know then how often it should/could be checked? As the cost of living has increased so much, does the csa take into account that?

NeedsAsockamnesty · 08/04/2014 23:10

He has a obligation to report a change of circumstances everytime his income goes up or down.

justtoomessy · 09/04/2014 08:57

The CSA don't take into account the cost of living and I quote 'the cost of living has gone up for him as well' seriously WTF!

You can ask for a reevaluation every 12 months and they will then do it if you say that you have heard he has had a pay rise etc. However, it has to be over 5% than the last time they checked and all the day is ask for their pay over the phone so in reality they could say anything. I was appalled at this totally appalled because lots of stuff gets taken out of my ex's pay so the net total looks less than it really is.

GRRRRR!!

MeepMeepVroooom · 09/04/2014 11:18

justtoomessy CMS request proof of earnings (payslips) and have access to HMRC records to check one against the other. Whether they do it or not is a different matter.

It is getting more difficult to lie about earnings when they are employed (unless their boss will pay cash in hand etc).