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Activities on ex's weekend

188 replies

smuggler · 19/01/2014 09:46

Was just wondering if anyone has any experience of their child wanting to do a weekend activity/go to parties on their dad's weekend but him refusing to take them?

My seven year olds father has eow contact and has always refused to allow her to do an activity she's really wanted to do for almost four years or attend birthday parties if they fall on his weekend. In the past I've negotiated swaps for best friends parties but it always comes with a load of grief from him. I'm fed up with being the one to run dd around to parties etc on my weekend while he gets eow uninterrupted with her but doesn't actually do anything with her. Dd is upset that she can't do the activity or go to parties like her friends.

We don't have a contact order in place. The activity is from 10-12 on Saturday mornings. He recently started collecting her from school on Fri. He lives half hour away. I want dd to be able to go to the most important parties and her activity and for him to facilitate that on his weekends. Previously he's said that if dd wants to go to a party on his weekend I have to drive to collect her from his, get her dressed for the party, supply the present, take her to and supervise her at the party, then collect and return her to his. All with my toddler in tow. It's impossible and ultimately ends with me getting the blame for her missing the party.

I'm thinking of saying that he needs to respect dds wish to do the activity and either collect her Fri and return to our town on Sat for it or collect her after the activity and return her to school on Monday instead of Sunday at 2 p.m. as usual. I also want him to listen to dd if there's a party she wants to go to and take her himself. Are these unreasonable requests? If he took me to court, does anyone have any experience of what the outcome might be?

Dd is a strong swimmer and gymnast and wants to train and compete in these as she gets older. Her dad's refusal to support any activities on his weekends means that'd be impossible which I don't think is fair on dd.

OP posts:
MaryPoppinsCarpetBag · 05/02/2014 18:11

The tone is missing. If one of my girl friends was on her own and my partner was being useless, we'd joke about him being useless to cheer her up.

I can see where you're coming from and I can also see the other side. It's also not that big a deal.

needaholidaynow · 05/02/2014 18:11

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needaholidaynow · 05/02/2014 18:13

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Monetbyhimself · 05/02/2014 18:17

Marypoppins my step children are now young adults. Their dad is dead. Would you like a link to my FB page ? Or I could send you a copy of my family tree?

What are your credentials BTW ? Kids? Step kids ? Number of marriages ? Outcome of marriages ?

needaholidaynow · 05/02/2014 18:18

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MaryPoppinsCarpetBag · 05/02/2014 18:20

Right so that's not the same as juggling young DCs and DSCs which was the motivation for my question.

I'm really sorry for your loss by the way.

I try to avoid talking about my family as I am regularly followed online. I have children and stepchildren.

Monetbyhimself · 05/02/2014 18:34

I have younger children. I wasn't with my step kids dad when he died . But I continued to juggle their needs with those of their step siblings until I became too uncool to be seen with Grin

needaholidaynow · 05/02/2014 18:38

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Monetbyhimself · 05/02/2014 18:51

I don't understand Need ? What was my choice ?

needaholidaynow · 05/02/2014 18:55

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needaholidaynow · 05/02/2014 18:57

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Monetbyhimself · 05/02/2014 19:16

But that's a whole different thread Holiday. I was making the point to Mary that I Do know exactly what it's like to juggle the needs of step kids and younger children. But for me, there was no choice to make.

needaholidaynow · 05/02/2014 19:38

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