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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Activities on ex's weekend

188 replies

smuggler · 19/01/2014 09:46

Was just wondering if anyone has any experience of their child wanting to do a weekend activity/go to parties on their dad's weekend but him refusing to take them?

My seven year olds father has eow contact and has always refused to allow her to do an activity she's really wanted to do for almost four years or attend birthday parties if they fall on his weekend. In the past I've negotiated swaps for best friends parties but it always comes with a load of grief from him. I'm fed up with being the one to run dd around to parties etc on my weekend while he gets eow uninterrupted with her but doesn't actually do anything with her. Dd is upset that she can't do the activity or go to parties like her friends.

We don't have a contact order in place. The activity is from 10-12 on Saturday mornings. He recently started collecting her from school on Fri. He lives half hour away. I want dd to be able to go to the most important parties and her activity and for him to facilitate that on his weekends. Previously he's said that if dd wants to go to a party on his weekend I have to drive to collect her from his, get her dressed for the party, supply the present, take her to and supervise her at the party, then collect and return her to his. All with my toddler in tow. It's impossible and ultimately ends with me getting the blame for her missing the party.

I'm thinking of saying that he needs to respect dds wish to do the activity and either collect her Fri and return to our town on Sat for it or collect her after the activity and return her to school on Monday instead of Sunday at 2 p.m. as usual. I also want him to listen to dd if there's a party she wants to go to and take her himself. Are these unreasonable requests? If he took me to court, does anyone have any experience of what the outcome might be?

Dd is a strong swimmer and gymnast and wants to train and compete in these as she gets older. Her dad's refusal to support any activities on his weekends means that'd be impossible which I don't think is fair on dd.

OP posts:
Monetbyhimself · 05/02/2014 17:15

I'll do you a signed copy Holiday. With a personal dedication and all Wink

needaholidaynow · 05/02/2014 17:16

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Monetbyhimself · 05/02/2014 17:20

There's no accounting for taste.

MaryPoppinsCarpetBag · 05/02/2014 17:22

Then you are very lucky to be in such a harmonious position. I'm sure you can understand your situation, multiple blended families with no conflict, is rare.

The rest of my post stands, your tone is deeply unpleasant.

Monetbyhimself · 05/02/2014 17:31

It's all subjective. I find Needaholidays and Petals posts about their attitudes to their step children deeply unpleasant. I find your tone to be sneery and patronising. Will I lose any sleep over it ? Probably not Hmm

FloweryFeatureWall · 05/02/2014 17:33

It's relevant because people are accusing other people of holding grudges against you because you are a stepmum when really, people just dislike you for you and your recent behaviour.

And you didn't straight up apologise for upsetting people. First you accused people of being sensitive and making you have to tread on eggshells. Then you told me you were apologising because I took your comment the wrong way. Not because your comment was inappropriate on a support thread about being lonely.

needaholidaynow · 05/02/2014 17:35

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

needaholidaynow · 05/02/2014 17:43

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FloweryFeatureWall · 05/02/2014 17:45

After, you had made a ridiculous and insensitive joke on a support thread, need. But thanks for clarifying that there was no actual apology :)

Monetbyhimself · 05/02/2014 17:45

I suppose an apology for calling me an arsehole is outta the question then ? Grin

MaryPoppinsCarpetBag · 05/02/2014 17:47

Perhaps that's her subjective opinion.

needaholidaynow · 05/02/2014 17:48

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needaholidaynow · 05/02/2014 17:51

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FloweryFeatureWall · 05/02/2014 17:52

Again, you didn't apologise for your comment. You apologised that people had taken your "joke" the wrong way after accusing them of being too sensitive and causing you to tread on eggshells. You didn't apologise for your joke. You apologised for other peoples reactions to it. It's not the same thing.

It was a joke flowery. I am apologising not because I am admitting that it wasn't a joke, but because you took it the wrong way and I offended you. Not my intentions at all.

There you are. Apologising because it offended me. Not apologising because you insensitively posted a joke about being lucky to not have a partner on a thread about finding it hard alone.

I would say HTH too but I really don't think your brain can compute what I'm saying so it probably did not help. :)

Monetbyhimself · 05/02/2014 17:57

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

needaholidaynow · 05/02/2014 17:57

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MaryPoppinsCarpetBag · 05/02/2014 17:59

If it was a joke (misplaced or not), how can she admit it wasn't a joke?

Need said she is sorry for offending you and that it wasn't her intention to do so. You DID take it in a way it wasn't intended ("the wrong way"). You are assuming that need is blaming you for that.

How about the discussion about the joke/nonjoke stays on the thread where it happened?

needaholidaynow · 05/02/2014 17:59

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MaryPoppinsCarpetBag · 05/02/2014 18:00

Are you joking? Rip her face off and then say no one should feel like she does? Goodness me you are something else.

Petal02 · 05/02/2014 18:01

Monet I don't know why you continue to post on this thread. We were having a robust debate, but you've turned this into a personal attack on another poster.

Monetbyhimself · 05/02/2014 18:02

That's quite a turnaround in four days. Hopefully your new found happiness will be reflected in some positive posts about your relationship with your step child.

needaholidaynow · 05/02/2014 18:03

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MaryPoppinsCarpetBag · 05/02/2014 18:05

Curious you never mention your step children Monet, or your partner. I struggle to believe you have actual experience of step parenting, the strain and difficulties involved, and yet post the way you do. It's just awful.

needaholidaynow · 05/02/2014 18:06

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FloweryFeatureWall · 05/02/2014 18:06

It's not the same thing.

I'm sorry you were offended by my "joke".
I'm sorry if posted such an insensitive joke on a support thread.

See the difference?

I didn't take it the wrong way. It was wrong that it was posted on a thread where someone was seeking support about feeling lonely.

Seriously. Who does that? Who goes on a thread about feeling down about being a lone parent and makes a shitty "joke" about at least you don't have a partner?

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