Facing pregnancy alone?

[thedogsrolex]

There seem to be quite a few threads lately posted by women facing pregnancy alone for whatever reason. I was thinking maybe it would be a good idea to have one ongoing thread for support and advice...what do you think? I know it would have helped me way back when I had dd? (apologies if there is already one, I haven't come across it).

I would say Xmaschins, but that just sounds like somebody who ate too much pudding

I hope you get your section.

Hope everyone is okay
Picklesdog and picklesbaby and pickles are all snuggled in bed catching up on the thread.
Picklesdog now thinks he is a baby. Have baby on boob and other boob is apparently a doggy chin rest!

Hope all is well with everyone today. Been online but been working; starting to put some ideas together for college assignments, and get some blogging done. Also had a bad back so had to keep getting up and pacing, or go and lie on the bed. Except when I laid down, I fell asleep - for an hour and a half. Oops.

Hi guys, just wanted to do a little update, so glad everyone is still here as I find this thread the most helpful and comforting, even if I dont always post.

So I am 7 days over, had a sweep yesterday and nada. It is fine though, enjoying last few days of lie ins :) Booked in for being induced on thursday (week today) so I know in a week I will be a mum!

I think being so close to all this is brining up lots of emotions. I was really sad on my due date as the father knew the date and somewhere I thought he might send me a message to wish me good luck :( Someone said to me never expect anything and you wont be disspointed..I guess I need to think like that.

I am tempted to send him a text and ask if he thinks I am an elephant, lol...as I can't believe he doesn't think I might have given birth by now! I am now thinking I wont tell him even though the last time we spoke he said he wanted to know if she had arrived. I kind of figure that if he wants to know he can contact me!!

But apart from that all well and cant wait to see my baby. All the NCT girls have had their so I am the odd one out not talking about sleepless nights and mastitis, lol.

Pickles, found your other thread too and sending you a hug. Honestly, I would/might do the same. I envy those women who get abandoned and then a month later just get on with it and move on. I feel like a Miss Havisham, still no further a long 9 months later but I put it down to pregnancy hormones AND that this is the first time in my life I have been so utterly stabbed in the back that I think I am in shock of it all tbh.

But every day is a little bit better. Keep buying baby clothes even though I have enough...something to do, keep packing and repacking hospital bag!!

Sorry to but in to the middle of your thread :)

Hi, yes I am having a little girl :) I know, really dont want him there staring at me with his cold eyes, its just the feelings isnt it...you know I've gone through the whole pregnancy alone, asked him for nothing and he cant even wish me luck. Oh well, what doesnt kill you makes you stronger...man I am going to be soooo strong after this year :)

Hi,

Do you mind if I join you? Am 38+6 and DP has told me that he doesn't want to be with me any more. The whole pregnancy has been rocky, he claims that I shut him out when I had a MC 18 months ago and hasn't got over that. Since then he has had an emotional affair with a girl he works with, has developed a drinking problem and alternates between being nice and not so nice to me.

I can't believe that it's over and I hope that he changes his mind once the baby is born although I know it's unlikely. We're still living together at the moment and he'll be there when the baby is born but it's just so hard.

Although I have a really good support network and can move back to my parents, I'm just scared about being a lone parent and don't know how I'm going to get over this.

You ladies all sound like you're coping brilliantly though.

Thanks Makeitlarge. Yes, it's first DC after MC and first DC full stop!

I'm OK, still in denial that we're not going to be together I guess. He's being nice to me again, probably because I told him last night that it was the final straw and I accepted it was over and would move out after his two week's paternity leave. I think he can't wait to get out and be single again and I just don't know if the baby will change that.

He's even suggested going to the cinema tonight and going for dinner on the weekend. When i ask him why he's being so nice, he says he just wants me to be happy but there's no hope for us. It is a bit of a head f8ck, because it makes me feel like he has feelings but I guess it's better than being horrible. Just want the baby to come now so I can enjoy it.

Mixed emotions really, hot and cold.

I think he might be scared, but then again he might not be.

Tell him to go the cinema and dinner alone. I dont think going to do things you would normally do when you was together, now would make it even harder in the long run.

You dont have that long left, which is very exciting! Easier said than done, look forward to the birth of DD and not worry so much about him!

angelelle if he wants to know he can contact me you are right he can!

Does he expect you to text him to tell HIM? What an idoit. I think id be more bothered about meeting my DC and giving it cuddles than texting him! lol.

I feel quite free as exp dont have my number nor can message me on facebook, he only nos where i live.

He is going to feel awful when he hears it off someone that his son is the world and hes in my arms.

You're right XmasEve, he needs to know he can't have his cake and eat it!

I'm an Xmas Eve baby myself, they're the best .

These men just don't know what they're going to be missing out on.

Most men dont know the half of it, when they are old and frail they might think 'oh shit' to late now lol!

I cant wait, i doubt he will be here on his due date(hes a little bugger). I hope hes here a week before if i have my c-section.

Home in time for christmas! I want it to snow too, i dont ask for much

Hi Lost, welcome to the thread. Im not pregnant, but just hang out here to stalk Pickles and met these guys along the way

My STBXH walked out at Easter, leaving me with 4yo DD, so I understand that side of things very well. He also had an emotional affair.... How any man could walk out on a pregnant woman is beyond me.....

But seriously, if you have to do it on your own, you will be fine. and you can do things your way, how you want, when you want, with nobody else to answer to. Get finances sorted out via CSA if he wont be reasonable.

Get your tax credits and child benefit sorted out and anything else you may be entitled to. You may be entitled to a Sure Start grant... Do you have a Sure Start Childrens Centre near you? They are fantastic for support and advice.

Xmas, yes apparently he does expect me to contact him as the last time we had text message contact - instigated by me - he said, in a very cold and clinical way, to 'inform him' when she has arrived. He has never called her daughter or anything in his texts. Anyway, that was months ago and heard nowt since so.....like I say, as I am a week overdue and he was at the first scan and knows my due date I figure a) he thinks I am an elephant or b) does not give a shit. Think he is probably relieved to live in denial and I am relieved not to have him intefere I guess. Still feels shitt though.

Anyhoot, could happen any time from now until next thursday :) All very exciting. And yes, shame these men dont know the joy they are missing. I never asked him to get back together, all I asked was for us to keep a civil and friendly relationship for the sake of our daughter. But apparently that was too much to ask!!!

Watching one born every minute...yikes that will be me soon

Think sometimes mum shouldnt bother half as much as we do.

Would men give us this chance if we did this to me? Sometimes i wish men could get pregnant, id say you trapped me.

It is very exciting and i am very. Are you nervous? Packing the suitcase again then again? Double checking?

I have maybe 9 weeks(c-section) or 10+.
I dont know how you cope im at my wits end with my diabolical sleep pattern, heartburn, braxton hicks and moving every second to get comfy! To say i want out is a understatement!

The first paragraph made me LAUGH.

I did watch online video of 'first steps of pregnancy' and thought fuck me i must be so clever at trapping men i should do it more often.

I have longed for a glass of baileys for at least 4 months or anything with a % in it!! I long for a superking with a huge cold pint I feel depressed

I hope we haven't trapped the same man, he is also a mummies boy. He does no wrong in his mummies eyes. Still does his WASHING and IRONING at 25 years old. He brings it around so she can do it.

I mean is he for real?

I cleaned(he had a flatmate too,was a dirty women left used tampons everywhere), cooked, did the washing(for me&him) and looked after our dog. And he said, he was at my beck and call?

This is the icing on the cake...

He woke up at 6.30am, i woke at 6am monday-friday and asked what do you want breakfast? I would go down cook and bring it up to him EVERY FUCKING MORNING FOR 4 MONTHS.

Was i too nice?

I think just bumping into the ex looking like that would be enough for me. I weigh about 12st12 i think, i did put at least 1-2 stone when i was with him. I dont look 12 stone, about 10, boobs are a lot bigger and bum which is my best feature i have been told

So i am very happy with the outcome already and i haven't met my DS yet!

LOL no way does he live with his mum.

My exp gave up a 2 bedroom flat in a lovely area so we could move in together a 'better' home. He now lives with his nan

I use to run a bath every night when he come home from work and dinner cooked ready. Looking back now, i did do a hell of a lot for him and really he just gave nothing!

I made him a bacon sarnie once and he said' its not cripsy enough re-cook it' i said ill give it to the dog. He soon ate it.

I think i was over nice to him, i use to do everything, even cut his hair style it(im a hairdresser) he use to peck me on the side and say thanks?! Wish i shaved it all off the last time i did it

If i was with him i would if done, i am a really caring person and i loved him beyond words.

As they say love is blind. Hes an idoit, when i showed him a scan picture( which i arrange to meet and show him) He said is that real? I just looked at him and though at least your sperms good

I agree with you, i wonder what 'if' we could if been a family. As soon as a found out i was pregnant, i smoked at least 10 fags in a row sitting there into space thinking 'ohmy' and rung him to tell him and he was more bothered about getting a full sleeve tattoo!!

Still dont think i am going to become a mum, 10 weeks left, hopefully 9. I get kicked, punched, i know its my son, but i dont see it as real because i havent seen him in the flesh with my own eyes!

I dont tend to think about it, if he was born now he would survive. So hes got lungs a heart fingers toes and a willy! No it dont seem real!! Lol...

Hello all!

It does amaze me how much we did for them. I used to work full time, make their packed lunches every day, do all the washing, cleaning, cook meals every night, run DP a bath for when he got home, walk the dog, help DSS with homework, have a bath myself and go to bed. That was my life. At the weekends I would do the food shop and the ironing. We rarely went out just the 2 of us and I never felt appreciated.
Wen I got pregnant I had to take it easy because of the past, he was ok to start with about doing the housework whilst I rested (I also had to give up work) his nephew was living with us too and the place was just a tip, he just couldn't be bothered, everything got left and I ended up doing it anyway.

This is totally naive but I reckon we could have a relationship now but just not live together, I'd love that. To have time alone and time as a family and not have to be a step mum and housemaid to everyone.
I know he still loves us, when I'm upset now he fights the urge to hug me and comfort me because of leading me on and ending up back where we were. I don't want what we ha but I do want him to love us, his girls, like I loved them as my boys.

I'm weak!!! xx

Thank you.

The irony is he would make us breakfast in bed.

Wednesday night he came over because I couldn't sleep and was scared. He stayed until 2:30am and left his 15 year old son at his flat. He put us first. We watched tv, he held my hand and told me he understood I was scared. He made me food and bought me a drink upstairs. he made me laugh and cheered me up. He had to drive to Nottingham at 6am!
Tonight he is coming to walk the dog and then he'll sit with me and we'll have take away and watch a film.

Is this a man who doesn't love me?! I don't know. I miss that side of him but when we were together I missed time on my own and felt crushed by the pressure of being a partner, a step mum, house keeper and working too.
I just can't accept that we won't be a family when I can still feel so much love there and that we can enjoy each others company and laugh together. But perhaps I could accept not living together but still enjoying raising our daughter as a family of sorts

How is everyone else?