Where have all the fit, interesting and available men gone (part 31)

[Hatesponge]

hurray

You got them fair and square but will say that there are lots of disappointed people here. When I say local we are about 55 miles, would have been gutted if we lived in Carlisle. We wanted Saturday too. I would probably booked somewhere for the Sat night if we'd got them. Hope you get somewhere reasonable.

Just incredible luck. Still not heard from Carrot. When he agreed to it I don't think either of us expected it to happen

Gggrrr. Feeling absolutly shit and very lonely.
Totally caused by having no me time with dds dad being away... he's only had her 3 weekends this year, and isn't back for another five whole weeks... feel like I've totally.lost myself again.
Am really tired too. Skint and pissed off.
With pretty much no social contact bar family and work and school gate mums since.mid Feb.

:(

Tkool I know how you feel, my ex had dd's about 4 times in a year, am hoping this year it might be more but still waiting....

TK... :(

i want to go home now. very healthy and boring here. nice to get away, but i miss home. feel lonely. SFPM has been great - feeding cat while we're away - she got shut in ex flat mates room by mistake, so he didn't see her when he was there on wednesday (and he was drunk...so didn't thinkto look) but found her tonight, looked after her, fed her, cleaned up cat poo in the ex flat mates room, cleaned up after she was sick and is now playing with her.

i love him. :( he's coming for tea tomorrow. i think i may pounce.

I had a breakdown. Flameboy is so so angry all the time, and I just lost it. He is now with his dad. I hate admitting it, but I didn't go into this to have 3 children alone, I need help sometimes. :(

Aww Flame its so hard being a parent let alone a single parent sometimes, maybe some time with his dad will do him good.

i've got to admit i am lucky at being able to pack mine off when they get too much. mines have only just returned after being away or about 12 days.

ladies - i have be emailing the enemy via pof. there is still many weirdo's. and the odd interesting one. there is one very nice one, with just a headshot, and "prefer not to say" on his profile.

clearly a porker from the neck down. haha. wondering how rude of me it would be to ask for a full length picture?

oh.. and I send kiwi an ebluey today. couldn't find the right bfpo box number. but one that looked very similar. and... i sent him.. a picture... of me stroking a goat

haha nmn stroking a goat?? I'm sure he was after something other than that ;)

Its hard isnt it ie pics on pof, I think the same as you though i would want to know why there is only a pic of his face? But then how to you ask for more pics without seeming shallow

meh, I obviously am shallow or I wouldn't be wanting to know. so why pretend i am not. lol

I also feel it is being deceiving if he is hiding a gianormous man gut which stops him seeing his feet. and i dont like people who try and hide things. its a bit daft, not like you will be able to hide it when you meet up. so why not just be honest and post a full length picture like other honest folk. I kinda look normal size in my pics though. I need to get another one up of me beside normal height ladies. lol

nmn glad to hear that you're back to normal on pof again

and yes as i always say, much sympathy to those who are not having any child free/me time
for some it's sadly the norm,but they don't post moan on MN about it!

asbm - you should be in your bed

i am heading there, i am looking forward to spending the AM in bed watching cartoons with the small noisy folk. i not had them on the wkd to wake up to for almost a year now. It's nice to get some of the non school days with them.

i had someone tell me his name was poorna . i though he was taking the piss. till he tried to befriend me on facebook to prove it. and i had to google it to discover ti is a real name!! ooops.

i just though he was being a dirty perv!

my favourite things of this new house is not having to lock my pc everytime i need to go for a wee, then unlock and put in all my log in details for the sites when i return.

cant beleive how good it is to have privacy back without needing to protect it.

good night ladies

Damn. Was so close to a Mattarse encounter. Will catch up tomorrow.

Blonde, seriously , what is your problem?
Ive seen lots.of posts over the years of people saying all kinds of things, including people saying they are tired/fed.up/ feeling down/ feeling isolated from not having any kind of break at all, and that's when they have a partner... and I've seen plenty from.lone parents too.
Just because its common doesn't mean I can't be feeling all of those things, does it.
I am tired, fed up and was in a bit of a state last night, like flame I was feeling that this wasn't what I signed up for.. and that if I didn't get even just one hour to .myself soon, I may explode. The lack .of adult contact is killing me, why arent I allowed to say that?

Flame, hope you are feeling a bit better this morning. I understand how you feel and I'm sure most of us have felt that way at some point. You just get fed up that it all.comes down to you the whole time..its a huge responsibility and a lot of work and occasionally suffocatingi find. Is their dad having them much? Can he have them a bit more over Easter so you can get a bit of headspace at all?

hi everyone

took and flame i understand how you feel ((((((hugs for you both))))))
sometimes you do need to vent on mn though, some people do some don't. for me, mn has veryoften been the only adult contact i've had if rl friends are out/busy/at work when i need to talk.

am feeling much better now and thanks for your support
i think part of it was that vimes was busy and we didn't seem to have as much time to just kiss and say hi - although it wouldn't have hurt him to down tools for two seconds to kiss hello like normally does

and another part is that dd's dad has gone back to work and that me and dd are back to the same situation as last year when he got the court order and then i found out he hadn't told work about his request for more contact through the courts and then proceeding to take up less than 40%. he never bothered phoning dd on thursday either so cue lots of tantrums and cuddles after. the git i wish he realised what he's doing to lo but he's so self-insulated he probably never will. dd was naughty yesterday adn begged me not to tell her dad cos he always shouts at her when she's naughty and it scares her, she's 5 ffs and he's a fat bigbloke, size difference is enormous. and yet again he's starting with the required access at short notice without actually sorting out holidays.

and breathe sorry rant over, i just get weary with him starting the same pattern again but this time i have to refuse to be drawn into it cos am now with vimes and even dd is now saying that she likes our new home and 'you're making me excited about my new school mommy cos you're so excited'

took and flame, i feel that. it does get easier as they get older and the sense of pride and achievement that i feel because I've made brilliant people with fuckall help from their dad (although the ex in laws have been amazing) is huge. but that future-scanning doesnt help when they're all acting up and i do want to lash out and as they're there (as their dad isn't...) then they'd get it. it happens very very occasionally these days. I didn't sign up for this either. I signed up for sunsets and growing old and sharing our joy at our grandchildren - now i'm bitter and cynical and he's impregnating all and sundry. still. it's balance i guess, good and bad.

NmN at new house and wanton non-passwording! :)

i think im just really lonely right now. ive just realised ive not spoken to another adult ( bar somone at a till or something) for over a week.
well, ive spoken to my mother on the phone and thats it.

Monday my dad was meant to be coming out with us for the day, but he text and let me down last min. I went anyway and we had a nice day but it was just DD and i.
Tuesday we had a day at home, did go to the park, but again, just DD and i.
Wed and thur i was at work, but the only one in ( only 3 in our office) so sat for 6 hours each day on my own, then came back, collected DD and then on my own.
yesterday we did errands in the monring then went tothe cinema.. came back. again. all on my own with no adult conversation at all.

DD is behaving most brat like at the momment. she misses her dad and its getting a bit claustrophobic just me and her i think. Plus shes being really really clingy ( from missing her dad again) and just will not leave me alone for more than about 2 seconds. I cant even make a sandwich without her trying to stroke me or something.

It makes me want to scream.

aurostar - this is pretty much my only outlet. Ive got lots of aquantinces, but no real friends ( bar mr big) and i wouldnt say to anyone else how im feeling. Now im not even talking to mr big, who at least when i was talking to him daily i didnt feel so alone.

The prospect of another 5 weeks of this is pretty dire.

Its not that we are not out of the house doing things... we are. its that its just DD and i. Which is lovely and everythign. its just i need to have an adult conversation or something.. i am a person and not some mother robot.

aurostar - glad you have sorted it out with vimes.. and sorry about your DD's dad. sounds like a infurinating situation.;

Took-I think what asbm meant is that there are lots of people on here who dont get any weekends off and if I'm honest your post did grate on me a bit as I would love to have some time to myself and regular weekends off and 5 weeks without a weekend to yourself is nothing to me as I have done 6 months plus, then got 1 weekend then nothing again for months. But then I dont ever fell like I didnt sign up for this life as the end of the day I wanted children, and I would much rather be single with children than without at this age. Cant imagine being on my own at 31 with no children, think my life would be very lonely.

But then again I think its more to do with not talking to other adults, as I work full time I'm in constant contact with my colleagues and that keeps me sane really, so can understand how isolated you must feel.

Nmn-I totally agree with you about pics. I've got to like the looks of someone to a degree to want to go on a date with them. Let us know when you have lined up some dates, cos im sure it wont take you long

Ive lost one child today, dd2 has been invited out for the day with a friend. So dd1 and I are off to try and teach her to ride her big bike! wish me luck!

betty its not 5 weeks. its another 5 weeks. last time i had anytime to myself ( or any company.. at all) was about the 20th feb.

yes i understand how it must be annoying for me to say that when you get no break at all.

but you know its annoying when you see families together, or annoying when you see people have spare money to do thing with, or annoying if you get bad health or lose your job. shit happens. doesnt mean someone cant feel bad about the situation they are currently in in case that might piss someone off.

you know, its kind of disapointing that i now feel i cant even come on here and have a ' fuck it, this is shit at the momment, and i feel crap momment' with people i thought understood how i might feel.

I find myself getting really lonely in the evenings, I have a friend around occasionally but all my friends are married and I feel awkward and kinda needy when they come over to keep me company.

Flame's texts often keep me amused! :D

I spent the night chatting to a friend of a friend who we shall call Irish, seems really nice and he is easy on the eye and tall! :D

tits - i shall have say you cant have the name irish - He's already being slevered over.

sadly my irish has a girlf at the moment. I am not luring him back over to the darkside so haven't took him up on his drink offer.

took - i think the thing is, this thread has changed dynamics from when i was last here.

Previously it was centered around dating, and being light hearted about the issues around dating when single. posters would go on dates, and report back how it went. usually there would be some daft tale, or else they would share something nice they did that made them want to go on another date.

for example - i went on one with massive gums!! (he wasn't open mouthed smile in his photo's), but we had a fab time.

Then there is people would say they keep seeing someone because they are very gentleman like and open door , etc.

we discussed who pays for what on the dates.

I just dont feel that is what this thread is all about. we used to have the odd moan about person life, then if we wanted to take it further we'd create another thread for a full on moan and rant.

I started a point about men who hide their real body image, and was hoping for a bit of discussion. we are on a dating thread afterall.

and those who are upset by asbm posting seem to have completely ignored that.

I know the names of lots of you new posters fella's. and sometime TMI regarding what you have/haven't done.

I am back on pof, and was hoping to have some discussions on here about the weird contact and a 2nd(or 3rd or 4th) opinion on some weird things they say, or on their profiles. and even share some of the profile names for you guys to look at when i get the odd fruitloop.

but... looks like that isn't going to happen with the newer posters.

Which is a real shame. As I think a light hearted approach to men and dating would help some of you who feel low to get out of this wallowing you are doing over some of these men.

This is not aimed at everyone. I know some people are gonna jump on me for this post thinking its aimed specifically at them. but its not. it is a plea for the thread to return to the light hearted tone it was before and actually discuss the aspects of dating as a single parent.

i meant to say i know your fellas names, but nothing about why you actually keep dating them, or why you stopped.

i think its probably because as people get to know each other they generally sort of become ' friends' as it were and then the conversation flows to all sorts.
having it suck to one kind of paticular topic and not talking about anything else is kind of un natural dont you think.. ?

Plus i think there isnt generally much actual dating going on at the momment, there was quite a lot earlier on in the year, but for various different reasons/problems/feelings for posters thats kind of stoped really.

When there was 'dating' going on there was a discussion about those kind of things.. but again, conversation flows and changes..

There are lots of posters on this thread who have come on and had a rant about ex's or jobs, or houses or weight, or all sorts of things and i think its really really silly to say this has to be kept to such light hearted things as if someone opens a door for you or not?

Im not wallowing over any man, and i think its unfair of you to comment that anyone is if you havent read back over older threads and dont know whole stories. light hearted dating isnt for everyone.. and thats ok too.

took-I wasnt saying you arent allowed to come here and say how you feel, but that you cant expect others to agree all the time. And you seem to have got on the defensive over it. I'm sorry if you dont like that others cant be as sympathetic as you have liked but I did actually say I can imagine how it would make you feel. But again 10 weeks of no weekends to me is not that long, last weekend I had without dd's was Jan, and before that it was aug.

Why have u had no adult contact at all since feb? I know you have said money is tight, are there any free local acitivites to take your dd to that you might meet other mums. or go to friends with your dd?

NMN-I agree with you, and say come on single ladies on this thread (including me) we need some new dating stories to compare!