Where have all the fit, interesting and available men gone (part 31)

[Hatesponge]

hurray

hello all!

DS2's 10th birthday party today. Great fun had by all. Made a cake (giant cupcake type thing) am shit normally at cake baking but it was actually pretty bloody good even if I say so myself :) Had two slices so that has truly f'd up the diet for this week but not the end of the world!

Nothing else to report. Reactivated my profile on POF last week, but am on verge of hiding it again, the men who message me are just wrong, (and even the half ok ones keep asking for midweek drinks, and are busy at weekends which annoys me as weekends are the only time I can go out!)

I think at the mo I'd rather spend my nights out with friends rather than on dates. I may change my mind of course

Just a quick hello ... . Just seen dc off for a week at their dad's going to miss them. DD was sick this morning so I hope she is going to be ok! I haven't had a date for over a year so I should really feck off to the how to clean your oven threads. But I'm not going to, so there.

happy birthday to your ds sponge - ds2 best friend is also ten today.

re old vs new put the handbags down - the thread is what it is - it will grow and change as time wears on.

I sometimes post off topic and would hope there is space to do that as well as on topic IYKWiM.

JMHO

anyway I'm on a high today because ds1 (14) was picked to play in mens cricket team today and we have been to a very nice part of Surrey for his match.

although many parts of my life are really shit Ive been thinking recently how my dc are actually ok. I have very good friends, like where I live and am doing ok in some ways.

In some ways Im quite lucky even though it wouldn't look that way on paper.

Sin, that's Exacally what I've been saying...I think its.nice and I like hearing the off topic stuff too....

Huge Congrsts to your ds1.

Sponge, how's thediet going? ( bar the deserved cake) I've lost 10lbs this.month :)

Elasta, so pleased It's going well :)

Am feeling tons better,dd was at a party for an.hour or so then my mum took her for a walk. Twas all I needed to clear my head and recharge.

I agree sin. Well done to your DS1

I had a lovely week off with my 2 boys - they have just gone back to school for summer term! It made me realise what great young men they are turning into.

Ds2 who is 10, was in a swimming gala today. He swam 5 races including the last leg of the relay and by the time they got to him the other teams had almost finished! but he smiled, dived in and swam his heart out all alone up the pool in front of about 100 people. Then he got out, laughed and gave his teammates a high five. I felt so proud of him. I just wish their dad would turn up a bit more to support them. I did txt him a picture of DS2 in action, but he hasnt replied.

At least we all know where our priorities really lie - even the most fit and interesting men come second!

TKFS this is for you !

ninah - fingers crossed for dd being ok, hopefully it was just excitement and not a bug or anything!

scl - is actually not ds2s birthday til monday, but he is celebrating from today! well done to your ds1, thats a fantastic achievement. bit of a proud mummy moment :)

i know what you mean, I feel quite lucky too in many ways, and was actually thinking today what a brill day we'd had and how I hadnt missed having a man around once (which I often do at family type occasions like birthdays, though fact that ex always used to stand around like a spare part/total stranger at such events is prob why its no great loss not having him around!).

I know the boys feel the absence of a father figure, and though I'm happy with life as it is, I feel sometimes like Ive let them down. DS1 said to me last week that he felt the 3 of us (me, him and DS2) hadn't really had the best lives, not having a man in the house, who could be a dad to them and look after me. made me a bit sad really :( what can you say to that?

Thanks Elasta, much appreciated.. and well done to your ds2 as well. Sorry his dad isn't that interested,but he will always.know you were there. But sonetimes yoy just want someone to share it with and go ' that's my child,how amazing ate they!'

Sponge.I petty much never.miss a man,but I do occasionally get lonely ( so shoot me I'm.human). Sad that your ds's say that... no idea what you say to that :( other than I understand.

Its not easy, my approach has been to try to make our life a lot more fun than it is when their dad is around. Now he has 3 small kids thats not too difficult

I was on holiday with a GF and her daughter and my two last week. Her daughter called us the mumdads as we do eveerything both mums and dads do. she is very sweet and made us laugh

happy birthday to your ds sponge, and well done to your ds scl

if i cant post off topic than i will have to be banished to the wasteland, as i am no longer single

it sounds like things have got a bit heated on here, all those involved go straight to the naughty step and hand over your sweeties to me to eat for safekeeping

tookool, diet is going ok-ish, am still losing 1-2lb a week but has slowed down a lot. will persevere though! well done you for losing 10lb thats brilliant! and glad you got some headspace as well, its much easier with 2 dc sometimes as they can keep each other amused when mummy needs some quiet time.

elasta, good for your ds2, and what a wonderful attitude to taking part!

I just said to DS1 that we manage ok the 3 of us most of the time and that i dont need a man to do things, which he agreed. he's a real boy's boy though and needs a man to spend time with, but with no family on my side and my ex not being interested in him, its not something hes likely to get sadly.

we are now trapped in our road til tomorrow afternoon because of the marathon - tho Ive moved my car into the residents escape zone.

Told boys they can get up tomorrow and watch as its just at the end of our road.

Oooh is it the london marathon tommorow sin? I would get up to watch that!

sponge was pleased that ds1 spent the day with some positive male role models although ex was going ballistic on the phone and text trying to find out what was happening (he's on a 'luxury holiday' atm) . I'm just the taxi driver lol

yes betty it goes past the end of our road always brings a lump to the throat. we also saw the elite kenyan runners running down the road the other day think they were familiarsing themselves with the route. Very long legged and svelte they were too!

sin-u lucky thing i would love to watch it live :)

Well, I came on here to tell you all about my dating Celtic if anyone's interested, it's all going brilliantly, thanks for those asking after me.

TKS - I actually agree that, whilst this is a supportive thread for those that are dating or even not, many of us on here including me have had none, or virtually no respite from childcare. It's life. You're not alone.

morning everyone i ws going to reply to so many of you but now i have forgotten what i was going to say!!!

apart from that vimes is an ex-fireman

those who are saying they should disappear off as not dating, etc - if you read the post i made I did say that we did talk about things other than dating. just take it too another thread if it was a bit all consuming. or a rant which was going to make other poster feel bad. this thread used to be a good escape from the daily grind.

some posters are using this thread to offload on here because they cant in RL,its not sharing whats going on in life, or telling others how they feel.

its just post after post of how bad they feel their life is.

Perhaps I just need to accept the thread has changed. I want to know about you ladies RL issues as well as dating. But repeatedly just coming off and unloading about things which can be quite upsetting to other posters have come on to escape and have some light hearted chat.

if the thread has changed this way and its me that needs to accept i will bow out.

Took - as for desperate, i think you will find I am the exact opposite to that.

I may call them dates

but what I do, and have always done with pof is that i speak to people via email and if I like their personality i agree to meet. and i make it clear I will be meeting up with the intention of spending a few hours in their company.

Just that, nothing more.

You are complaining about no adult contact. Well guess what , maybe you should try just agreeing to go for a half hour coffee and meet somoene new.

you complain you have lived there for 2 years and not made any friends. Yet you have the audicity to call me desperate because I actually make an effort to go out and meet new people.

I have made friends from pof as well as met some who have been more than friends.

The main reason of this competition is my friend in RL moved to a new area and this is how she is getting out and about in a new area, getting to try out the social activities in her new area.

Why dont you try doing something about your situation rather than just non stop complaining about it.

If you decide to continue to think that is desperate,then i most definately am on the wrong thread, with folks who are not my kind of people. So feel free to have another dig about that and you will be rid of me. I actually feel you should apologise to myself and betty.

Flame - thank you for your update on your fellas. I think they make more sense to me now

I think ginger sounds nice. Why do you think it will fizzle out though? from past experience, or is he fantastic in looks, but a bit so-so in personality?

Betty - we like the ones in the emergency services , hows things going with your pof catch, anything worht keeping in the net?

and you dont need to be dating to post about dating. You can discuss what you think about men who hide pictures, and lie and appearance, or say they do lots of hobbies then you discover all they do is sit in pub .

i think the style and beauty and when we talk about weight etc is all part of this. i like that when someone has a date we have the flurry of "what shall I wear to go to x,y,x in the midday sun?"

adamschic - what happened on your date? Where did you go? pub or something else? did you meet him online or in RL?

I had one of my POF emailer tell me him name was something which I thought was very rude, and a piss take. He added me on POF to prove it, then i googled it, and low and behold it was.

I am not sure what to say now. It isn't just a weird name. It actually sounds like i would be saying something I would not usually say in day to day life. Those on FB, go on my friends list and see if you can see who I am talking about.

monty - .. just

elasta - I am pleased you finally found someone. is there one of you who usually does the most travelling? you have a horse dont you? how do you juggle that if you go for a wkd away/at his?

i really dont see why i have any need to appolgise at all. Ive not done anything wrong.

I have tried meeting new people. I have gone on lots and lots of dates. Thing is with no childcare its quite difficult.. and things like that were planned around my childfree weekends. Ive gone out to groups when ive had the chance, i talk to anyone. its just that being a 'new' person in the community and working with not much spare time and no babysitting its quite hard. Friendship groups are formed and its difficult to get into those. It is not from lack of effort on my behalf. ive joined social groups and all sorts.. but nothing seems to happen.. my friends all live away from here and i moved here knowing only 3 family members. but you know, i dont want to go on about that. you know its shit. its life.

I think you will find that for those of us coming on here this was still a good escape from the daily grind and again your ' just take it too another thread ' in fear of upsetting somone is stupid. im mean, for godness sake, this is an internet forum, there are probably 1000's threads and people saying things that you might get offended by all the time. maybe if you are that sensitive you really shouldnt be here and netmums might be more yourstyle.

i dont think the 'style and beauty' is just talking about going on dates and what we are wearing, sponge has lost an amazing amount of weight and thats totally non related to dating, beautician was hoping to lose a stone i think prior to going on hol with her DP and we talked about exercise dvds. Snape has gone on some mad health kick and is doing fab. Ive lost 10lbs and im not dating at the momment.

We have still been talking about men inbetween other things and i really just dont understand what your problem is. I cannot get how you can just say ' this thread isnt how id like it to be it needs to change and im going to cause a great big argument about it' its quite ridiclous and frankly childish.

Im not normally so riled up but to be honest this is just a bit playground bully behaviour and i wouldnt let someone me so rude to me in rl so im not going to let you.

nomeansno
you posted this wed:
ex is being a twunt. he went into my car just before i moved to leave me a cd of songs aparently. I pointed out that it was 2nd time he had gone into my car while i was sleeping under the pretence of leaving something. and that he had crossed the boundary of privacy again. he proceeded to moan to friends i had said he was sending abusive texts. so.. i ever so nicely explained that unless someone swears or is rude or threatening via texts it does not qualify as abusive. getting told something you dont like to hear and somoene asking you dont take their private possessions was not!

i have to live hear now. dont want locals thinking i am being abusive! and..... he's telling folk he is sleeping in his car. no idea why he cannot sleep in our house which he still has the keys for till next wkd. and the only reason he cant move into his new place was he pushed back the date as he had spent all his money in the pub. people think i have forced him out the house and to sleep in his car. oh.. not to forget 3 people have offered him their spare room.

please dont post things like this on this board. it upsets and offends me. actually its shit. its life. man up and if you do want to post things like this.. how about making another thread. thank you.

SEE!!! this is how ridiclous this is. even you have posted other things and only a few days ago.
Your argument is invalid.
:)

and again

'
ex got a call in house, which was very clearly another chick and went outside to take call. i asked in moking tone something of lines of "ooh who was that you were very friendly with" and he lied and pretended it was some bloke from work. you dont answer some bloke at work with a super flirty tone of voice and saying "hello darling, how are you, how was your day" The FUCKING lie are driving me nuts(see even making me swear). so I fell off the deep end and told him to be more respectful, after sat we wont be living together. he can wait till then to receive booty calls instead of being so blatent. I actually wasn't giving a fuck. but the lying just makes me see red. so i had a go . And if he tried to take one more than that i had from my old house and claim it as him i am going to attack him with his prized guitar around the earlobes. '

again, another posting off topic. slapped wrists for you.. this is not light hearted dating stuff is it and actually upsets me. plus again. its life. man up and stop complaining. i had it FAR FAR worse than you and im still alive. because you know. competative ' my life is shitter and im ok' is what this thread is all about isnt it.

Have i proved my point yet?

ha. i need to post that ' someone on the internet is wrong' picture.

lol

I can't get out of bed. PM up for dinner last night, hideously drunk. hideously. We were talking about something and i think it just became clear that we would never have a sexual relationship. I don't think we wereeven talking about sex. I stood up, left the room and went to bed, because if i stayed i would have made a total idiot of myself. fight/flight/flirt gah! text from him, 'night then! :)' oh god.

now feel uber low and lonely. This is rubbish. I don't care if this is wallowing or whatever. I love my children so, so much and I think it's because they're all i have. The boys know I'm feeling low and have sneaked into bed for hugs and brought coffee and bacon (bye mad health kick!) but it's not the same. it's not the same as someone male and grown up wrapping their arms around you and looking after you.

This is the point at which i normally make dreadful rebound decisions and end up settling for someone rubbish, just because they have a penis and seem able to tolerate me.