Where have all the fit, interesting and available men gone (part 29)

[lilacisinlove]

Too good an opportunity to miss!

Thanks, he does lok poorly, even the gp said so

looks like his abdominal migraines are abck

ffs he had 8 weeks off with a norovirus , then dislocated his shoulder and now this

i am going to have a beer i think

beaut - so sorry - hope you get a huge takeaway and can't eat it all and fry up the leftovers for breakfast. sod 'healthy' have a litle indulge.

flame -blimey! hope you're OK. i do think ignore is the best option.although it is difficult to deal with and a worry - it's basically emotional blackmail and that is clearly no basis for the start of a relationship. :(

mily - look at you! :) how lovely! :)

late again for train this morning (bloody children forgetting gym kits in evil selfish attempt to deny mummy any hint of a sex life...)so missed train and therefore train man :( however, quick drinks after work with some lovely colleagues, meant i didn't get my usual train home... guess who gets the 6.27? ;) sat opposite and across from lovely train-man (although noted, in passing, he does have a rather hairy back and i've never really found monkey-men all that attractive before...) he did pull downa card-shop bag withaballoon init from theoverhead storage on his way out and i was trying to see ifit was a latevalentines pink hearty thing, but i am glad to report i saw a glimpse of blue. this is good! sadly, even though he was only a seat away, he still managed to get lost in the crowd on the way out of the station. :( thought he had nipped off to waitrose, but sadly our fingers did not brush over the potato wedges in the freezer aisle.

Gosh, its not been a great day on here has it?

Beaut, am really sorry - must be really hard, esp changing all your plans and having to tell every one - def some wine is required.

flame

snape, your pursuit of train man reads like a spy movie!

Nothing much to report here. Mr global warming cant make Thur and I cant do Wed so looks like we wont be seeing each other this week But he has offered any night next week so I am going to re engineer my work diary to meet him. Suddenly I have a lot of client visits to make in the South

And he appears to have a big project up north

elasta, sounds promising!

snape, must try harder

evening all

god what a day

BNM, unbelieveably about DG, the others have said all there really is, I just add my ((((()))))) and hope you can be strong.

Lou, hope health of all holds up

Flame at Brackets, hope you are ok?

Elasta, about dates this week but yay for client visits in the south

snape, whoever said you should drop a note in his pocket , I agree, carpe diem

god my ex is a prick
Can't recall if I said anything about this on Friday, don't think so. But. I had called him Thurs as DD2 had asked to speak to him, 1st time ever and since she was feeling so rough I immediately tried his mobile, got through, explained she was poorly etc and handed over the phone. She said very little and I could hear him saying various thing including how he would give her a big hug when he saw her Saturday. I then get a call from him Friday saying he didn't think it a good idea for her to visit as she was ill and he and his dp couldn't afford to be off work sick......his dp had had vomiting bug after the last visit (which none of us here had had...) and didn't want to be ill again. Plus they live in a v small flat (in a v nice area ) and hard to have someone ill there - .....
I carefully pointed out that picking up bugs from kids goes with the territory of parenting, also that saying to DD2 she couldn't visit after being promised hugs would be horrible....anyway, he reluctantly agreed that if DD2 had no temp on Saturday he would have them both to stay - big of him no?

When I picked them up on Sun night he tersely said (in their hearing) DD1 was v good, DD2 was 'difficult' and marched off without a backward glance

so today i get an email telling me off for 'sending the children across after we discussed my work and GF's work. Now GF is ill again and this is a problem'....and lots more on that vein...

I can't believe he sees having the DDs fortnightly as an option instead of a commitment!!!

mily, he's a twat. for your DDs for being let down by him.

isn't he though?

yet more evidence of why he did me a favour leaving. Am lucky I know as he could have been worse, and I wasn't unique in marrying a selfish, arogant arse, but y'know i would still love to tell him what I really think. I redrafted the response several times.....toned down somewhat from the original

roll on DA the week after next and all the financial stuff sent back from the court and I will finally, totally be free

arse arse arse

I read something interesting in the Guardian last week, about empathy in a relationship and how, in order to understand someone's pov you have to remember they think they are right.....well, is no wonder I can't empathise with XH....he thinks he is right that his DP not getting a cold is more important than his DDs visiting him.....

Oh Mily, he really is a twunt isn't he

Beaut, I'm so sorry about DG, but as others have said, it's better that you know now. The sad truth is that he probably wouldn't cope being a full time step-parent, because he wouldn't cope with not being your priority.

Flame, hope brackets has settled down.

Lou, sorry to hear that ds is poorly again, hope he is feeling better soon.

I have had horrible, sad news today.
There is a shop in my high street, that sells crystals, hippy clothes and stuff, run by a really lovely bloke. Over the ten years that I've lived here, I have come to really love and respect him and I counted him as a friend. I don't think I've ever met someone with such a good heart, he almost looked at you and saw straight into your soul and DS loved him as much as I did.
Today we went in to say hello and have a catch up, as we haven't been in for 2 or 3 weeks, except he wasn't there. He died in his sleep the Sunday before last, he was only 65. I can't believe I'm never going to see him again, it's like a light has gone out in my life. Poor DS is in bits too and we now have a funeral to go to on Friday. So, so

aw, FLF, was just about to log off and go to bed but I saw your post and wanted to send (((((())))))), how

also hope BNM doing ok

FLF - that puts things into perspective somewhat. I'm very sorry to hear this. :(

(((()))) for you and ds.

Thank you, I can cope with my own grief, but Watching DS go through it is awful. Our friend was a kind of father figure in some ways to DS (he has never had a dad and his Grandad lives the other end of the country) so B was someone that DS would go in and chat to.
I just want to make it all better for him, he's nearly 14, but he's still my baby and it's so hard to see him grieve. He's not coping with DD either because she's too young to understand, but is upset that we're upset IYSWIM.

oh flf i am sorry to hear that

FLF - ds is at a vulnerable age to lose someone. I don't know how old dd is.

I guess the best you can do is hold him tight and let him grieve. Its probably best to explain how B died in as much detail as he can understand.

Do you have any male friends/relatives around that could spend time with ds?

agree with monty

(btw i was just trying to get your attention on fb!)

Lou - just came back to say hope ds1 gets better quickly!

DD is 4 in April, she doesn't understand death, etc and hadn't got to know B well enough to miss him really.
We are going down to see my Dad at Easter, which will help, DS is quite soft/ sensitive but I don't think that he can show it with a lot of our male friends- he could with B because he was like DS. My dad is soft too, but in a different way (definitely not a hippy!), plus he's in Surrey and we're in Scotland and DS doesnt like talking on the phone.
Thankfully DD is away this weekend, so it will just be me and DS, so i can help him grieve.

FLF - poor dd too, probably can't understand. That's great you'll have time with ds at the weekend and talk about Easter seeing his dgf. Will be thinking of you.

Lou - got you and then lost you grrrrr!

Loads to catch up on following weekend. Haven't we MzD and Sponge? .

Btw - I haven't heard bk from date that I cancelled for VD so I'll just call him NEXT!

flame - hope you havent had any more hastle?

beautician - how are you today?

snape - i suspect you might be getting the later train more frequently... still think you should go with the note in the bag technique... :)

been talking to biker on msn ( with webcam) so i can see what he looks like. im not taking any more chances after QM!! Hes not my usual type, but there is something about him. So im actually looking forward to our date.
I have also decided i dont want to meet up with Mr big at all. He messaged me while i was msning biker. Then we had a non conversation which it took him about 25 mins to reply to each thing i typed. Seriously, what is the point. I cannot even be arsed to be friends with him right now. And i certainly do not love him at all. ( a revelation in itself)
I kind of cant work out if i should say something, or just not say anything? Ive gone down the block, delete, ignore tactic and he just turns up at my house. Trying to tell him will just lead to a non arguement which wont have any resolve. SO im not sure what to do.

What an idiot your XH is Sparkly for putting his DP before his own DD like that. As parents you should be (and want to be)there for your DC's whether they are ill or not.

Really sorry to hear about your friend FLF

Snape go with the note idea

MILY sounds a bit like my exh - cherry picking I call it!

FLF - sorry to hear that - it's very sad news. And interesting how we make strong connections with certain people and not others.

Re online sites and scammers - did I recall someone on here talking to a US serviceman who turned out to be bogus? If one of you did (and Im sure I wasn't dreaming) can you let me know because one of my RL friends has come across someone on a site who sounds to me a bit sus and I wondered if its the same guy.

Hi all

FLF So sorry for you and ds.Big hugs to you both.

Sorry to self indulge everyone but i had a rubbish night.I didnt eat in the end and i didn't sleep in fact i didn't even go to bed.I have a migraine today which i'm sure is a result of much crying.

DG text today to say that he does love me and can we work through it if it isnt too late.I have told him that i will meet up with him in a couple of weeks as i want to give him time and space to decide what he really wants without my being upset an influencing factor.I have told him i will cease contact in that time no texts or calls.

Right now i am tired and upset so i don't want to make a rash decision either way.This time will give me chance to clear my head and decide what i want to happen from here and more importantly what is best for the ds's.

Hi all

BNM - hope you're okay ... and Lou, hope DS1 is not too bad.

SCL - I had quite a few so-called US servicemen - scammers to a man I reckon - I would stay well clear tbh.

Monty - catch up would be good - will have to be later as off to cinema with a couple of friends tonight ...

I am alive and stuff. Sorting the Brackets nightmare. Will catch up when brain straight, but thought I should check in

xx