beaut - i am really sorry... i had a similar problem when ds was younger and the solicitor also pointed out to me that there was nothing to make exh stick to arrangements. so the two long-term relationships that i've had since were based on the understanding that exh is as good as dead / not be relied on for anything. i think it helped with managing expectations. you haven't done anything wrong and quite frankly, what if it had been you looking after an elderly or sick parent? or if roles were inversed, would you have walked away? i do sincerely hope you can sort it out but it may be worth bearing in mind that you are looking for your equal there when it comes to facing up to responsibilities, whichever those may be. (plus our children deserve our unconditional love!) keeping my fingers crossed for you, either way!!!
valentine's day turned into a mixed bag: lots of good news at work but 'vng' tried to postpone today's date due to work travel. fair enough but second time (only second date), and i've got no flexibility whatsoever this week. plus ds going away to visit grandparents abroad on saturday so need time to pack, etc. Plus the usual rugby fixtures, rugby whatever, rugby legs (teacher!). anyway, i said we could so something on sunday.
i keep blowing hot & cold. hot when i am actually with him and he's lovely and excellent company. cold when i am not with him and i put my 'objective cap' on. i've fallen for the 'talk the talk, don't walk the walk' twice and i can see straight through the 'i would love to get involved with charity work' but not actually doing it (just an example). the guys is a non-resident parent, only sees his dd at weekends so in theory, what is preventing him from dedicating a few hours to some charity if he (truly) wants to do so? it's saying things to portray an unrealistic image of yourself, which further down the line will only lead to disappointment! teacher (i know, here i go again...), on the other hand, goes off and just does things - whether it's a marathon run for some charity or helping the local rugby club.
So...vng texted last nice some bullshit about him watching some scary film and i just couldn't be bothered to reply...
then hell broke lose this morning when i had to take car into dealership as clutch seemed to be disintegrating... warranty covers cluch but extra £220 in stuff only 3 days before payday and they weren't willing to do anything to help. had to swallow my pride and borrow money from friend. i earn reasonably well but i never, ever seem to have anything for these eventualities. it's one thing after the other every month!
sad but true: i do feel that i should just throw my standards & expectations out of the window and 'settle' just for the sake of havinng some form of safety net. at the moment, it's just me, me and me again... i know, i will take it all back once i've recovered from the car drama! :)