Where have all the fit, interesting and available men gone (part 29)

[lilacisinlove]

Too good an opportunity to miss!

Hi

Sponge, how very scary, so glad you had help at the time at least

MZ, yay for theatreman, I did hope it was him and not mrbetterbeworthit

I am shattered! Had friday afternoon off as DD1 birthday but was still fielding work stuff until school pick up time....however, we had a great time after that. 3 of DD1's friends for a pizza, with 2 of the mums, my RL best friends, to keep me company with a glass of wine. Then 2 of the 3 came back to sleepover, and were lovely, they all had a cracking time. Midlnight feast of jaffa cakes and lemonade at 9 pm, bless'em. TLM and his DD were back too and we all had a really nice eve - his birthday too would you believe. Large amounts of cake.....

Then Saturday my parents were back in from hols to heathrow, my dsis and dneice collected them and the 9 of us all had a lovely celebratory lunch together. Then full on sandwich making and cake baking for the party that DD1 had at the local gymnastics place later on that day with a wider group of friends. DD2 joined in and was an absolute hoot on the trampolines and balance beams, no fear whatsoever

Had to pinch myself at various stages since TLM seemed to regard it as his idea of a great way to spend a weekend, over run with my rellies and loads of screwaming, over-excited 7 and 8 year old....

No sign of anything sparkly but much knowing nudging between TLM and his DD, followed by big grins to me and protestations of innocence, so something is definitely up....am just going to have to be patient, which is not my forte

Nice quiet family day today just the 5 of us, then when TLM had to take his DD back to school and suddenly the house felt really empty.....only 3 more weeks of the dreaded TLM course thank goodness.

am in bed in pjs already

Elasta, glad you had a nice date, even if no future in it

Lilac, so glad things are progressing so well with TLOML

Flame, hope you are feeling more positive about life, 'tis bloody hard grind especially with financial worries on top of everything else

Lou, yay for no more hands 'n' knees hoovering

Thanks, mily, sounds like you had a great weekend. Am still living in hope of something sparkly for you, even though it would be my worst nightmare

Sometimes I feel like those of us who have met someone lovely find things moving pretty fast. My friend up north met her bf on a dating site too, they met in person at new year and within two weeks he had met her kids and spent the night at hers, a week later she met his kids and the week after that the six kids all met each other! Now she is talking about moving in together in July when their respective tenancies end. I am a bit but also a bit at the speed with which they are moving. Three months almost for TLOML and me and my kids don't even know he exists yet .

Lilac, tbh I don't think there is a 'right' way of doing it. TLM and I have discussed often just how we are at how fast things have moved....only 4 monts, but feels like we have known each other years. I had no inclination whatsoever to involve GMM in the rest of my life, just to go on a date or two and see where it led. Somehow with TLM it seemed incredibly right from a very early stage, to the extent that we probably moved as fast as your friend. And i did get cold sweats a couple of times in the wee small hours about the risks we were taking - the damage it could do to our DDs if it went pear-shaped. I really hope we made the right call, but it feels more right with every day that passes. I love him to pieces and part of that is how he is with the DDs, how he was all this weekend with my DDs, not minding even slightly that his own birthday was completely over-shadowed by my DD1's. So I guess the risk paid off. And I never thought for a moment I would want to get married again, but if it is to TLM, I do, don't know why that and not just living together, can't explain it logically.....but there you go

mily, it feels so right for TLOML and me too. We've talked and talked about it all and I know he feels the same as me. We're both in our 40s and never thought we'd fall in love again. I haven't been in love since BEFORE I got married . We agree that we do not want to get married. He told me that if we decide to live together he would like to rent somewhere larger and I could rent this house out if I want to.

What's holding me back from telling the DDs is the mess their dad created...I only moved out last April although we'd been living 'separately' for over a year by then. In July my ex told them he had a gf and wanted them to meet her. They both freaked out and refused to have anything to do with her, saying it was too soon. It's now February and they still haven't met her, DD1 says she is willing to, DD2 still very resistant. It's now hard for me to discuss this with them as I feel like it's self-serving (e.g. yes of course it will be fine, meet your dad's girlfriend...then I can introduce you to my new man...)

It's my birthday at the end of next month and I would like to have this situation resolved so we can all spend it together. I'm sure TLOML will be as great with my DDs as TLM is with yours. It's so hard even thinking of an opportunity, though...if I have the girls all weekend, TLOML goes up north to see his own daughter and spends the weekend there. When he's with me at the weekend it's because the girls are at their dad's...my head spins just thinking about it.

Can't go on like this for ever. TLOML accidentally left his coat here and I worry that one of the girls will spot it in my wardrobe and demand an explanation!!

pmg waves again, clears her throat and announces

"I AM NOW OFFICIALLY DIVORCED"

The champagne is on me ladies

yeah, no more shitty paperwork to wade through, or any more unnecessary contact with the ex, am moving into a new chapter of my life.

marathon man and I have just been through a crappy period, but we have resolved the issues and its onwards and upwards for us as well.

good luck to everyone on here x x x

Will catch up when Carrot goes (out smoking atm)

I finally get it! He thinks that there is this perfect woman out there, and when they meet they will instantly know with no doubts, no if, buts and maybes... We have both had doubts so not me.

I think he is nuts but understand

yay PMG! Fantastic news - and great to hear you and marathon man are working things out ....

Hope you'll make it along if we manage to sort out a meet up as would be great to see you again ... along with anyone else who can make it.

YAY PMG!!!

Yes, I am doing a lot better. XH has come through with more money than he implied he had (not going there). Carrot has just left having shown me a clip from Rocky about fighting back. We have talked so much tonight about all life, love, universe stuff.

He makes me feel remarkably jaded because I don't believe in that instant thing with no doubts etc. I have never witnessed it in rl. He says he has with some friends. I really hope he finds it as he is too good to end up alone forever because he is waiting so hard for "the one".

The whole Brackets seeming a bit off/odd thing is suddenly explained. He has Aspergers!!! It slips into place. :) Now to decide if I can do that (I hate the idea of someone thinking that about DD1)

yaay for pmg

Hi all

Aurora Its so hard isn't it.Not really many jobs about at the moment.However,I have managed to get an actual interview today at 4pm.

Sponge I hope you have taken the day off work today.Especially as you never have time off usually.Time to slow down a little maybe.Hope you are feeling better.

Elasta Glad you had a good date.You seem to be meeting quite a few decent men recently which i'm sure restores everyones faith on here.

Mily Nice to hear that DD1 had such a good birthday.I can't wait to hear the news when that something sparkly makes an apperance

PMG Hi and Congrats on the divorce coming through.

Lilac I have had one of the fast relationships you speak of.I mean i met DGs family on date 4.It has just felt right from the start.

I introduced him to the ds's very soon.I think because the feelings were so strong(i realise until now i have never experienced love)i wanted to introduce him to the ds's to see if they accepted him.If they didn't that would have been a deal breaker for me and selfishly i didn't want to have to lose someone i was so in love with having waited a few months for that introduction iyswim.

Luckily the ds's adore him.We will have been together five or six months when we move in together depending on how long it takes to find a place.

DG suprised me on saturday night.He turned up at 8.30 and said he couldn't go all weekend without seeing me.Was such a nice suprise.Shame i looked a bit of a mess pjs,hair pulled back,no make up.He left again on sunday afternoon and it gets harder each time he goes.

morning

sorry lilac, I had pc probs last night so couldn't answer you. I can completely understand your reticence to introduce TLOML to the DCs given their reation to your X's new gf. Really tough situation and I hope you are able to find a way through that works.

Flame, really glad things are looking up a bit. am with you being at Carrot's view of the world. I do believe you can know about someone pretty early on (ref posts a bit upthread) but I don't think you can be certain as soon as you lay eyes on someone....

PMG, great to hear your news. I am on tenterhooks to get the same news as soon as possible after the 24th of this month, which is the earlist I can apply for DA.....

BNM, good luck with the interview

beaut good luck with the interview
i understand how you feel all too well about sunday evenings and leaving dp it's really hard isn't it? ((((bnm)))) i am still here while dp has gone to work, i hate (we both hate) where i live so i try and avoid it as much as possible and am tryign to move closer to dp.

lilac - it's hard deciding when to introduce new partners, could you have a party with friends and intro him as friend first?

Thank you for the good luck wishes re interview.

Aurora Very similar i hate where i live too.How far away does your dp live?Its hard to view houses as well as i don't drive although it is an straightforward train journey.

I have lots of driving lessons booked up for the next few weeks.Unfortunately i struggle with it and am learning purely for ds1's safety as its so dangerous trying to walk anywhere with him.

he lives half hour away, i catch the bus to the village where he lives and that takes 45 minutes, about an hour with all the walking to and from bus stops. would love to be able to drive, would be so much easier. am at dp's house on wednesday anyway, though he's at work and we wouldn't see each other til about half 5 or 6.

DG is an hour and a half away by car and train.Im next going to see him on Valentines day.He will be working all day so i will just get the train up late afternoon and come back the next morning.DG is staying with his mum (which he is not enjoying at all ) until we find a house there.

that's a fair way then :/
dp working as well, though in the afternoon. dd keeps asking to go to breakfast club on monday mornings because her friends go on mondays so will see what she wants to do.
we can't afford to live together at the moment, i need to be working before we can even think of going for mortgage. he owns his house (well pays mortgage) and doesn't want to move into rented cps of the stability it provides for him and his son - understandable though.

Ohh, have had txt from my date yesterday asking if I would like to see him again! Am

beaut, good luck for your interview.

I know that saying goodbye feeling all too well beaut and aurora...we're used to it but it just gets harder. Luckily TLOML is coming round tonight briefly while DD2 is at Guides. I am teasing him that he's only coming to collect his coat (especially since his Oyster card is in the pocket!) but he actually had a tough weekend. He's just told his ex that he is in a new relationship and she's taken it badly, and they had to take his DD to A&E on her birthday with a dislocated bone in her wrist. It really brought it home to me that I need to get this relationship out in the open...he phoned to tell me what had happened and left a message starting 'I know you can't answer because the girls are with you...' It's ridiculous that he needs me and I'm creating this barrier.

so elasta, what was your response?

(((lilac)))

elasta - well?

am feeling bit meh now