Dealing with your child's stepmother

[singleproudmum]

My ex and I have 2 small children and he is now married to the woman he left our family for.
Since we split, about 5yrs ago, myself and my kids have had nothing but hassle from this woman, she belittles me to my kids and has little digs at them. I have told my ex how she treats our kids but he doesn't believe me as my children say that she is always nice when their dad's around.

Obviously, I have asked the ex to see the kids without his wife around but he won't hear of it. My kids want to see their dad and the only way they can is if she is there too.

I was hoping for any advice as to how I could get her to stop her snide remarks, why does she hate me and my children when she helped to break my family apart?

Also, I do realise that most stepmum's treat their partner's children well!

You go and remove the noose from your neck and find the evidence to support your accusations! the onus is on you!

I have found the extent and agression of posts on the single parents board, excessive and uncalled for. Have you actually read my posts, or just jumpted in with attack mode to any single parent you can attack to make up for something else that is causing your anger?

I don't go near stepparents thread, I don't understand why so many stepparents are making it their business to mob rule on a single parent thread, I don't want to read this rubbish gang mob posting on single parents boards attacking MUMS who on this board have 90% of the care and in my case 100% of the care, if I wanted to read attacks and examples of poor behaviour and me and my oh are wonderfull and it is all the exw's fault rubbish, I would go on stepparents forum, I don't want to, so I have no idea why the mob rule attack on single parents boards!

SPM came on to stepparents board and insulted lots of people on their despite the fact she is not a step parent.

Smeone on that thread mentioned tis thread so some of us came over here to see what was going on.

SOne offered well meaning advice (most of us having experience of being lone parents ourselves)

SPM took exception to all well meaning advice and a bun fight ensued. So that's why we're over here.

I certainly haven't attacked any single parents - I have no need to do so.

I'm sure the majority of single parents have the very best of intentions, in the same way that step parents do. We all have challenges, sometimes its harder than others.

Well go and hurl insults back over in stepparents and leave single parents alone then, show some dignity please.

PS - I only came across this thread, because SPM arrived on the stepparenting board, and got her knickers in a twist. If that hadn't happened, I would never have found this thread.

Mummiehunnie - I haven't hurled any insults! Are you getting mixed up? Do we have a Dementia board?

And NOOOOOO, I am not insulting people with memory loss, for heavens sake.

Well if SPM has been on step parents theads and boards hurling insults to you over there, keep the hurling over on those threads, again I ask that you show some dignity for youself and go and argue with her over on those threads, life is hard enough no matter where you come from or what situation you are in, please don't bring that rubbish over here!

Again Mj, the onus is on you! and if you need to educating, I don't have the time or inclination right now, professional therapy often helps with that sort of thing! I don't mean that nasty as some people seem to have the opinion that it is an insult for some reason, I think therapy is a great gift to have!

we were accused of being a bullying pack of wolves.

I will do you a favor, this is twisting of words, this is why you prject you twist words and you accuse another of doing it... keep going with the rope MJ!

MJ, I don't mean this nasty, I really don't care figs about your situation, if I did I would go and stepparents threads, and I have no interest in it, if you don't feel you need therapy then that is your choice and that is another reason why your stepkids have my sympathy. I don't like the way you have behaved on this thread at all, and I have learned a lesson here.

SPM's comments on stepparents on stepparents threads and her comments on single parents threads, were for different reasons, why she wanted to go over there to start rows is something she may need to talk to her therapist about, as you may want to talk to yours about why you brought it over to the single parents threads!

MJ in asking why it is twisting someone's words is the very reason you need to go and see a therapist, and why you continually hang yourself in my view! I did not say those words, you compiled words together and state them as fact, again big sympathy to your step kids!

Now please show some dignity and go and take this argument back to stepparents thread where it began!

MummieHunnie, one of the deleted comments made to the posters on that thread included the line "you are a bullying pack of wolves".

I've read through most of the posts on here and many are of a conciliatory nature where the posters are expressing how they feel and sharing their experiences of being lone parents and step-parents. Its admirable of you to leap to the defence of SPM, but it looks a bit silly when you didn't see the post MJ was quoting.

Have you not read Slimbo's post? Or Prettyfly's? They are brilliant and heartfelt and both of them have been lone parents. Much better to discuss something you've read, surely?

BH, obviously I was not over on step parents, so I thought that MJ was twisting my words, I have no idea why she would bring and quote those comments over onto single parents if they were used in stepparents, this is why the arugment should have stayed over there, not be brought over here, if you show dignity and keep it where it started!

I am not leaping to the defence of any one person!

I have actually on another thread, given my admiration of a poster on here, as I was impressed with her behaviour, she knows who she is!

I don't mind people disagreeing with me and I would happily apologise if I made a mistake, as I said previously I think therapy is a wonderful gift, and I think there are few people who can't benefit from therapy. I was speaking to someone at a women's centre who works as a professional in mental health and she is of the opinion aprox 90% of the population has issues and would benefit from therapy, it is a shame that so many people think of suggesting therapy as a put down or think of getting some as a form of weakness or as being beneath another.

MJ, why would I know that there has been crossreferencing on stepparents I don't go on there! If op has been doing that then she needs to look at herself and ask why the big drama!?

So why are you feeging the beast with fuel posting on single parents where you know the fuel will be added to by other single parents? Why not read this thread, and just keep to the stepparents thread for the posts where it all started, or go and play with your kids, or sort out the mess in your living room? Why do you keep the drama up along with the op, surely that makes you both the same?

Now it would be really nice to be called a MUM on single parents threads, not a BM and to keep threads from stepparents and references to it to be kept there!

feeding, not feeging, dooh!

MJ - get your coat, we're going to the pub. I'm buying.

Have a nice time at the pub or feeding the ducks!