Where have all the fit, interesting and available men gone (part 28)

[ninah]

lilac where are you????!

He wants to live in brackets with a full stop. :o

Eek @ your stalker!

Brackets boy wants to go out on Fri night :o Now to talk my mum into babysitting...

morning all

why am i so tired today?!

not a lot to report wrt the thread, dp is working working working, i have barely seen him this week

not heard anything back from exh since i ignored is email about the divorce being delayed and his idea about me taking him to the court to do it again

i had a visit from ot ss about adapting the house for ds2 as he gets bigger, as he cant use his wheelchair inside, and has to resort to crawling to get from place to place

she said that she doesnt think they will be able to do anything due to the lay out of the doors and adjoining walls, so wants to get a surveyor round to say so officially and then help us get into bigger more suitable council housing. This is a good thing, and something i had been mulling over (moving i mean), but with her help it will help fast track it so to speak

its about time, ive only been waiting over 3 yrs to be seen by them!

and i have to wake myself up enough to write a decent appeal for ds's dla personal care component, as they have reduced it

for some reason they think that me telling them in writing and on the phone, that he needs help at night wrt keeping his covers on the bed (he cant get them back on if they get kicked off), and that he needs help every night just for that, let alone if he needs the toilet, or has muscle spasms which make his legs shake non stop, means that he does not need any help during the night

bloody idiots

Morning

Have been lurking but no chance to post for a while. No dating updates from me, very definitely wedged on the sofa with TLM.....he is on an 8 week course at the month tho which is a bore as he is away all week and is very much missed at Mily Towers (DD1 said this morning, mummy can't you write him a note for the teacher so he doesn't have to go?? )

We are talking about what might happen after the courte wrt to him giving up his quarter and moving in officialy .....big step and lots to think through, not least wrt longer term when he next gets posted.....but v exciting all the same

Congrats lou re dd1, fingers crossed for the right outcome ref the house etc

Good going everyone else on the dating front

Any mileage in planning a meet up in the spring?

hi MILY, so pleased to hear it is all going so well for you!!

Spring meet up would be a great idea - would even try to get on a train to come along!!

Have had messages this morning from both university man and radioman (who is now my 'friend') so all good here.

Couple of other dates on the horizon, so all in all not a bad start to the year

Excellent start I would say Elasta, interesting re your 'friend'.....am afraid he still doesn't get my vote due to his easy come easy go attitude and lack of support when you might have appreciated it....but so long as friendship is on your terms can't do any harm! Was glad to read you had a good time with UM at the works do - no spark tho? Could he be a grower?

Yes MILY we had a great time but no real spark there! He is lovely but I suppose the same reasons he was never my BF all those yrs ago still stand - although he has aged pretty well!! He also lives a good 4 hrs away..

Ageee with your diagnosis on radioman - was when he suggested that he would really like to still see me and go out as 'friends'. But it suits me atm as I dont have much time and he is very good company for the odd weekday evening. Suspect it will all fizzle out when one or other of us meets someone else we like more. And I absolutely dont intend to take him home with me even though he is still as fit and interesting as ever

Are you also working from home?

Hey Elasta, nope, on the train up to leeds for meetings. On my way back now, shattered which makes no sense as I have sat on my ass all day.....

Nice to have good company as you say and you've got a couple of other dates that might develop further

Meeting Brackets at 9pm tomorrow. He's coming about 30 mins by train to meet me :o

who is brackets?

what did i miss?

hope it goes well flame.

date still on with stardust tomorrow. Lots of text, msn conversations this week. Mostly looking forward to tomorrow.

cancelled all the others - cant be arsed.

Russel brand has asked if i want to go out next week. ive not replied yet.

Few very interesting emails from someone i shall call novalist. we shall see.

But - to be honest im all in a mess today. i called mr big last night. I felt really really bad having not spoken to him since friday and ignored his attempts at contact all week. he loves me. He wants to give it a proper go despite the consequences. Of course i love him - goes without saying. We both know how each other feel and while my initial reaction is to be very very happy, this morning i wake up and know i cant. There are lots of reasons why, which im not going to go into. But hes not married or with anyone else. But i feel scared that should we go for it, and it all goes wrong ( which it would) then i will have lost him and i would rather have him in my life as a friend ( or whatever) than not at all.

I dont know. its really difficult.
i said that i felt like a random person he just talks to, and unimportant.
He said im the most important person hes ever met and he was sorry if he hurt me and it was never his intention.

But that he loves me and spends alot of time thinking of me and how we can make it work.

Of course i tell him its bullshit and i dont believe him. But i do the same - constantly. So if its true for me, then it could be true for him.

Lots of men have contacted me from pof who recognised me from earlier in the year wanting to know if this time i would go out with them. Its unlikely, and i wonder if maybe ive been distracted on the dates i have been on which is why ive not heard back.

Anyway, date with stardust tomorrow. then no more dates for a month.
Ive got no childcare and cant be doing with it. I also think i need to have a serious think about what it is i actually want - mr big and everything ( inlcuding large lifesytle change) than comes with him. Or something else, knowing that i wont ever get anything like mr big ever again.

Its a tough one Tookool I briefly got together with one of my closest friends last Feb/Mar and things did go wrong between us relationship wise and didn't talk for about 6 monts after we had a big argument. In the end the friendship between us was stong enough to get back on track and we are now back to being very close friends again, but maybe we were lucky. I do think some of the best relationships start with friendship and maybe things won't go wrong. Have you talked to him about why your concerned?

Advice needed. Been talking to fairycake guy for a couple of weeks, he suggested meeting up and we have arranged to meet Saturday afternoon. We swapped mobile number's to arrange times etc and he said he was going to text me yesterday morning as he had friends round when we were chatting the night before this. I haven't heard anything since - should I take this as a sign that he has changed his mind or just contact him?

no harm in sending a 'are we still on for sat' txt. if he doesnt say yes you know the answer

contact him.

Of course ive told him why im concerned. We have very very open communication, Ive never spoken to anyone the way i talk to him, and the same in reverse.

He was saying last night, that its amazing and really very very surprising to come across someone who you can be this way with, and how we have this really strong emotional connection. With him its about love. Of course i fancy him, but its not lust ( it was when i first met him) its actually a very deep love for him that i have - more than anything ive experienced before.

I dont know if 'friends' is the right word to describe us. just people always on the cusb of something.

He does sound quite promising to me if you fancy him, have a really strong connection and he feels the same.

Have contacted him so now have to go through the will he/won't he reply time - god at times I hate dating!!!!

This is my message from fairycake man that I've just received

'Hiya hun, got your message, sorry havent got back to you, i've been down the QMC all morning going back in about 30 mins, my mums had a fall and she carnt move her legs and banged her head, sorry hun but im going to have to take a rain check on that drink for now, of all weekends.lol. tipical. hope to meet you soon..xx....Sorry babe.'

God knows if its genuine or not - I can never tell!!

grr at fairycake man!

oh tookool. whhhhhhy!?

Mr big!! whhhhhhy?!

id say thats probably not good. its akin to what ive text my 3 other dates i had this weekend. That i was sorry but i couldnt make it as somethhing has come up.

They have all replied, some other time.

er - nope!

snape ... why did i call him?
Or why is it so complicated?

I called him because i felt bad. He had tried to contact me and i had ignored him. i dont want to make him upset/feel bad/whatever.
And because i missed him. Talking to him is one of the nicest things in the world.

But it is stupid. I cant be with him, am not prepared to change my lifestyle so much. Its not just me to think about.

But would a guy really make up such an elaborate excuse when 'soory won't be able to make it' would have worked?

How do you have to change your lifestyle for it to work Tookool - sorry if its too nosy

Oh tookool, how do you do it? I feel so lonely and disheartened... I can't see how I am EVER going to get a date. I'm not talking relationship, get a dog together etc... Now that I've deleted my profile from POF, thanks to the subtleness (not!) of that Sicilian jerk,who happens to know me, there is nothing. I've resigned myself that teacher's interest was all in my imagination and everyone else is married - and ok, it wouldn't have been a good idea to go there in the first place.

Oh Tookool :( I am not the best person for advice - I am on MrBig's side and say go for it, it is potentially too good to waste because it might possibly maybe go wrong in the future. Carrot is on your side with best to keep the amazing "friendship" we have.

Soo tired but looking forward to meeting Brackets. Not had any texts from him other than the arranging ones which I actually quite like. The others I have talked to too much before the date iyswim.

FBS went a bit nuts last night when he had a free bar works do. . I think he had us married off in his head by the end of the night. I have had one coffee with the man. He did apologise and seem quite embarrassed this morning. Told him that it is fine, but he needs to take things slowly - we're having dinner next week, and we can see how things go. Told him I have wiped all texts (did that before I fell asleep) and that it is a new start.

except we arent really friends are we.
Hes not my friend, hes someone im deeply in love with.
Im not his friend, im someone he very much loves and has never felt this way about anyone ( if that is to be believed)

We dont do any ' friend' type things. I was always of the ' give it a go, regret what you have done, rather than what you havent' persuasion. Until i met him.

how did FBS go nuts?

stella - try another site? Ive not had much luck really. I counted up the number of dates i had last year ( sporadic, half hearted dating due to mr big situation) and i had about 10. Of which i had forgotten i saw 3 again and two asked me out again.
and then the year before that i only dated 2 months - had 3 dates. 1 of which i saw again, once of which asked me and one which disappeared.

Its easy to get a date... depends on your standards though! lol

I have a strict filter on reply to emails, then, if they pass that and ask me out and i actually say yes, its really only about 10% likely ill go. I do have a bit of a habit of cancelling, either from non interest or situation with mr big.