Where have all the fit, interesting and available men gone (part 28)

[ninah]

lilac where are you????!

Aye. I have now given up sniggering when he tries to call us "friends". Oh I don't know :( Part of me sees the wisdom of what there is now being so good it is stupid to risk it, but at the same time the whole gut churning feeling at them being with someone else (because it WILL eventually happen) - is that worth it?

I am starting to get better with the moving on thing, but it is hard.

FBS kept attempting to phone me (I don't do calls - I have a weird phobia), and I had to get stroppy with him before he listened to what I was explaining to him about not answering calls. He "wanted to hear my voice". He was wittering on about taking me to some fancy pants hotel.

All of it is fine, we all go a bit nuts and carried away at times with drink. So long as he slows down now he is sober I am fine with it, but if it happens again, there will be a me shaped hole in the door.

ha - the being with other people doesnt really work out.
i know he saw two girls back in the summer. One dumped him when she found out about us, even though there wasnt an us at the time. Because we were trying to just be friens.

He dumped the other one as she wasnt me.

I had a Fb for a while, which i dumped because i got frustrated that he wasnt mr big.

And my lack of interest in dating, or high cancellation of dates is down to mr big. Becusae i dont want to be with anyone else.

I did tell him i was seeing the FB. he was not impressed and we had a row about it.. which led to him dating girl 2.

He asked outright if im dating again right now, and i cant lie to him, so told him yes, and told him why - ie, its never going to happen, and its silly waiting around for the impossible. ANd that even though i love him, i have to move on, as i want something more.

fbs sounds a bit full on. Probably the drink.

Does it do the big stomach churning madness? :( I still don't quite know why Carrot did date 3 after being all of the opinion that she wasn't "the one", he wasn't going to bother seeing her again, and he was taking his profile off POF. If it was related to me at all then we have the option of - I pushed him again (a few drinks and drunken texts ), I got him doing a whole yes man thing and that was part of embracing it, I told him I was going on various dates... Of course it may not have been related to me at all and he just had some spontaneous complete change of heart . She was clearly "the one" though as he came home and went on POF straight away...

VERY pretty man talking to me on there atm

as in 'whhhhhhhy' aren't you two together? you love each other!

I'm with flame.

i know we love each other.
I know i love him. He knows i love him. Ive told him lots and lots of times i love him. ( even told him last night)
and i know he loves me. and hes told me lots of times he loves me. ( including last night)
I know its not bulshit. He knows its not bulshit.
He says i am his constant. His thing that holds him together..
I feel soothed when i talk to him. its just like im floating. Its lovely. Its the same for him. We just fit.

He asked to see me lots of times last night. He said he really wants to do this. Of course i do to. Bu then this morning i sort of stop myself and i know he does the same.

I cant see him for a month now anyway. I think im going to say that we both need to really think about it, and make a date. and then we go for it, or walk away. Because essentially we are very much in a relationship, just without the sex. id like some of the sex.

Half hour til Brackets. Argh!

I think you need to give it a go Tookool as it seems that not only do you guys love each other but also fanc each other and have an emotional connection - Go girl

Flame whereabouts are you meeting Brackets

I have just logged onto POF and fairycake guy has logged on - am sure he is supposed to be at the hospital with his Mum! Am so so so so so sick of the rejection from guys I like and picking up stalkers for the ones I dont!

tkFS - what is really stopping you with Mr Big?

Im not clear

We went to a few bars. Nice guy. Intelligent. Good looking. :) Will see him again if he wants to.

FBS text throughout evening even though I said I was going out Have ignored him

Ok, FBS pissing me off now. Too many texts.

Matt meant to be coming round tonight (will believe it when I see it). He was asking last night if I wanted a fling or something proper, told him he was meant to be a fling, but I am starting to actually like him, so getting to the stage of being happy with either... He says he wants to see if it can be more than a fling Told him we'll wing it.

hmm. flame, is he going to be one of those 'full on, wont leave you alone types'?

Glad you had a nice time too.

Zany - easier said than done, and id be pissed off to. but brush it off and start again.

Date with stardust later and am trying very hard to be looking forward to it. Its just a bit difficult after speaking to mr big.

There are lots of things stopping me with mr big. Im not really going to go into them. But i do know that he would make a terrible boyfriend. Hes far too selfish and demanding and i know i would feel comprimised between him and my life and thats just for starters.

I have had one coffee with the guy. If it was chatty texts it wouldn't bother me but it is always what am I doing kind of texts.

Matt is being very very chatty. What is it with me? Brackets - lovely guy, intelligent, easy to talk to, good looking... and yet I am more intrigued to see where it could go with the messed up 21yr old .

flame -started writing before you posted. i tend to get annoyed with too many texts too. does my head in.

sounds interesting with matt.

chatting to novalist last night on pof. This morning check messages and have one decaring how awesome he thinks i am etc.... right, after about 10 emails.... er, next!

yuk. i hate ' what are you doing texts' i dont mind witty banter texts. but even after a while i get a bit annoyed with those too.

Am on phone to mr big right now. See, i can talk to him all day and not be bored. Or annoyed.

why is matt messed up ( i seem to have missed that bit)

I can have normal texts constantly and be happy, but fbs is just pissing me off. I text a lot, but not in the same way iyswim.

Matt was sexually confused about 12 months ago (no idea where that stands now, but seeing as I have always been attracted to women as well as men, I can't really criticise that). He also was taking various things for body building, and coke. Again - I don't know what the situation is with any of that now. He was meant to be stopping the lot after a heart scare, and his fb statuses suggest a more quiet life, but don't know. See - messed up. But he has spark which I have been desperately wanting.

The messed up side of things don't matter in the slightest if it is a fling, but I will have to deal with it all if it goes further.

Meh. No point over thinking. Dvd tonight and see how it goes

oh.
well i hope it works out the way you want it to.

Lol @ "oh" :o

I think I may be doing the rebelling that I didn't do at 16 and choosing a very unsuitable boy

lol. i didnt know what else to say.
lol

just a little word of advice. And please dont take it the wrong way AT ALL. But i once, when a lot younger got involved with someone a bit 'messed' up. Drugs and such like.
We sparked like noones business.
It was a rollercoaster most of the time, full of the most unbelieveble highs and the worse lows.
I lost him to drugs.
He died in an accident a year later.

Oh that is so sad :(

This thing between us has been rumbling on since July. I think we are both too intrigued not to do it now. The age and 3 kids thing doesn't appear to bother him which surprises me. His ex is 35 apparently. Gonna see how tonight goes, and then I will know if I need to find out the situation re drugs etc. If it is a fling then it doesn't matter what he takes in his spare time tbh. If it is more then it will and I will have to decide what to do then.

Well I have no babysitter and at home on saturday night! I've given up on plenty of fish and just can't be bothered to try elsewhere I feel like I should be trying......

good luck flame

Argh. FBS telling me all about how he has booked a long weekend next weekend and implying I get the lot of it . How do I stop this whole thing nicely?!

Taking bets on when Matt will back out, and if he will cancel or just not text for address...

Its so disheartening at times isn't it beingsetup. I think I have become too picky and don't want to settle for second best but its gets lonely at home on your own, especially at the weekends. I am going out for my XP birthday with a group of his friends - must be desperate as I am sure he will be an arse!

Hi all, Well I have had a lovely day watching my youngest at a climbing competition and chatting to all the mums and dads there. It was really friendly and nice to get out and just meet some new people. Lots of very fit men there too!!

Have a date set up with physioman for nxt weekend. I know its a long way off but just didnt feel like going this weekend as I still have a cold.

Have 2 other men I am chatting to on line. One is a sailor (not again!!) and the other just has lovely blue eyes

If I can regain my mojo, may see if radioman fancies going to the pics next week

Just got back from date with stardust. Nice guy. Really easy to chat too. No spark my side at all though. He did walk me home which was nice and said he'd like to see me soon. If he calls ill see him again.and if he doesn't then he doesn't. I'm not that fussed either way.

Flame, did Matt turn up?

Stardust just text. Saying it had been really nice meeting me....