Where have all the fit, interesting and available men gone (part 28)

[ninah]

lilac where are you????!

No, zany, that was it...thanks, and her name! Doesn't bode well, does it?

he said ' thanks tookoolforskool'

i said
' thats ok, hope you get spoilt ( because everyone deserves to be spoilt on their bithday) and that your not too ill to enjoy your meal out later.

( a nice message, but no question, so he didnt have to reply, and i wouldnt feel bad if he didnt. It was just a statment iyswim

THEN - 2 seoncds later

he replied again saying ' ive had my daughter this morning, which is enough for me'

and now ive replied with
' ah, thats really nice and kind of all thats important really. I know where your coming from. Had she scribbled in a card for you? ive kept ever card my DD has ever done for me, including the ones where shes done nothing more than try to eat it!'

So???

yeah. doesnt bode well.

well, you're chatting, but there doesn't seem to be any flirty-flirty going on. I'd wait and see if he suggests getting together this week, if he does thats fine. if not, then fine. :) you've initiated contact and chatted along - now i'd keep my counsel and see what happens.

I'm just back from a walk in the park with the DSs. canoodling couples everywhere, they look happy. i hate them! ;)

at your canoodling couples in the park. I have a dog so we are often at the park at weekends and you get sick of it. BUt appearances can be deceptive - I may have looked like one of those couples 6 months ago but you wouldn't know from looking at my XP that he was emotionally abusive, in fact he would most likely to have been walking 3 feet in front of me to be honest

@ tool - not sure what to say but I have to say it's not looking brilliant but you never know - might be that what with his birthday and having his daughter, he's not been in a flirting/dating mindset.

Re ONS - I used to be able to do them without compunction but not sure I could these days - firstly think I need some emotional connection and also the logistical situation coupled with the thought of the whole getting naked with a total stranger thing ...

It's such a disappointment though when you thought you've met someone with whom you have a connection - after not hearing from Mrbetterbeworthit (the one who pursued me on and off for better part of four years), I eventually mailed him to say that I had really enjoyed our date, felt connection blah blah, could kick myself for not meeting before etc and what about second date etc.

Got message back which I'll post here so you can judge for yourselves -
well, i did enjoy our date, very much so. the chemistry between us was great and it even ended in a surprising way which i didn't plan... nice surprise though...-)
i don't really know what to say, the distance sounds as an excuse, but it isn't. there were times when i arrived in London every 2 weeks (and yes, i wanted to meet u then) but now it much different and it looks like my next journey down will be around the end of February-beginning of March.
and to be honest, I'm not in a position where i can afford some private journeys, it just cost too much and I've not got any spare money at the moment.and its not just the money, I'm too busy with life to start any kind of commitment especially out of Manchester.
yes i was aware of that before we met, but i thought I'm only meeting you for a casual drink nothing more than that. I just was curios to meet you after all those years.
i would love to meet again (want more of those kisses and hugs and everything) but i don't see how this can be developed at all.
hope you understand what i mean. '

Unfortunately - and due to thumb malfunction I sent the following

"Actually - and at risk of sounding startlingly stupid - I'm not entirely sure I do - I can't work out whether you're telling me you'd like to see me again only not for some time or you don't want or plan to see me ever again ..

Re your other points - firstly I would never assume it is or would be your responsibility, financially or otherwise, if we were to meet. Am quite offended you'd even think so to be honest.

As far as commitments go - well only you know what the nature of yours are. Me, I've got commitments as well, some more enjoyable and fulfilling than others. I also know that we only get one shot at life and I'd hate to see mine pass by filled with regrets for the things I wished I'd done or the people I wished I'd made time for.

I'm not really sure what I'm tring to say - but I know that meeting you was a pleasure and it's rare to feel such a spark for someone - and rarer still for me to write this sort of thing.

Finally - and fairly importantly - I mentioned a second date and a bit of a chat - not a stroll under the chupa!

Would be nice to chat and hear any or all of your views - and in any case, would be nice to hear from you"

Was meant to be hugely sarcastic - and in any case he hasn't bothered replying.

Am half hoping he does - and asks to meet again as intend to turn up, hand him a box containing a mug and a date with a note reading
'because you obviously think i am one. Hope you enjoy your date - hugs and kisses ...'

well. thats all a bit rubbish isnt it.
bloody men. and i cant make out what hes trying to say either.

i also hate cuddly couples in the park. Im always in the park, like daily. it pisses me off. Or, id like to be one. Ive never been a cuddly couple in the park.

No more replies from dogman. I sort of what to say to him similar to you mzdemeanour. That its really unusual for me to feel alspark and that i enjoyed his company, and would like to see him again, but that i also understand its difficult when you have small children ( and i have one myself, but his is younger) and that i would never want to take his time with her away from him. I may or may not send something to that effect later in the week.

POF has thrown up a couple of interesting things. Firstly several men who recognised me from last time i was on there and can actually remember what i had in my profile ( its a totally new one, with a new username)
Ive agreed to a few dates, day time ocffee type things, just to see. One im quite interested in, and we are now texting, whos not as yet asked me out but i think will.

Oh TKFS just have to wait and see, but he does sound a bit lukewarm - still at least you didnt shag him and then have him run away !

I had a lovely night last night and have the hangover to prove it! University man was fab, lots of drinking and dancing and got on well with all my work colleagues. Had a nice lunch together and came home this afternoon. But it isnt going anywhere - my choice - he has far too much baggage atm - spent a lot of time moaning about his most recent ex - really put me off ever being any more than friends.

Truth is, that I dont fancy him in the way I was lusting after radioman - he who is 'too busy for a relationship' yeah right. Am supposed to be seeing him this week, but only to give each other stuff back that has ended up in respective houses - sould be a lovely evening!

Still, have one nice man from GSM who has sent me his number - will call him physio and another who has been messaging me who looks also good fun. so I can confidently predict that radioman will be history by friday

Oh no MzD, TK and Elasta. This sucks.

What are the histories of these guys - Dogman, Radioman and MrIdbetterbeworth it.

FWIW I don't think it should be such hard work at the beginning so prob not right - which is a real shame if you have felt a spark with them. Wonder if they may have issues possibly which nothing to do with you.

IM (limited and rather unusucessful) experience the men Ive met seem to think with their heads rather than hearts and if they say they don't want a relationship then they prob mean it unfortunately.

When I met samename last year though on our first date he kept asking me what I wanted on our first date and I really couldn't tell him (because I honestly didn't know) and although we dated for six months I felt a bit backed into a corner some of the time so maybe I was behaving like some of these frustrating blokes.

Ive more or less given up with the online stuff for now though I do see exbf from time to time and we are in regular email contact - and Im fairly sure that we will never be together. Initially this upset me (because I felt it was meant to be) but Ive come to terms with it now and and happy to roll with it.

Ive changed alot because in the past Ive really over analysed everything and made myself really miserable over men (some of whom who really weren't worth my time or energy) but I think Ive actually burnt out and just don't have the energy for it any more.

I would hope if I do ever meet the right person it will flow quite easily.

I hope that all makes sense - it is disheartening and it does hurt but hopefully there is a better fit around the corner.

Similar with the guy I met on POF and saw twice. I thought it was rare to have such a spark and I know for a fact that he fancied me but then bolted. I thought he was a bit mad to do that.

Been getting messages off someone who wants to meet up and I don't want to logg on to read the latest. Doesn't look good does it? I really cannot be bothered but have said I will meet him next Sunday now so feel obliged.

Hi,
Hope you dont' mind me randomly butting in the conversarion?
I've created my profile on POF but I'm losing my never again. I've had quite a few messages but every time I filter throw, I narrow it down to this one guy who seems perfectly normal - oh, how appearances can be deceiving, not?
However, what I really (REALLY) want is for Mr Teacher to ask me out, to the point that I think I've let all my cyber-stalking tendencies out and my crush has blown into a 'full-on-am-15-again-am-going-to-marry-Tom Cruise' type of thing. It doesn't help that ds and friends spent the past 1/2 hr in the car talking about how Mr T is just SO cool and how he did this and said that. Argh!!! In my mind (has anyone watched 'Misery'?), he's already declared his undying love and we're living happily ever after with a little puppy and everything. Is this what loneliness does to you?
ps. walks in the park are hard but my worst nightmare is still school events where I seem to be the only mum on my own. Always.

Interesting thought sin - radioman told me early on that his prev gf dumped him as he didnt call her back often enough - he has an obvious history of 'now you see him' now you dont'. but I didnt spot it as he seemed really keen on me. Also, he has been mostly single for about 8 yrs since his divorce, which given he isnt at home looking after his kids, tells me maybe he doesnt seem to do much to hold down a LTR. Hindsight is wonderful isnt it

Lots of messages from Download today. He is v easy to talk to.

Sent Matt a message asking if we are still on for tonight or if it seems less of a good idea now it isn't 2am and I have heard nothing. The man is all bloody talk. It sucks. He has amazing arms....

STEP AWAY FROM THE TEACHER STELLA

Lol @ Elasta!

I am bloody trying!!! If only he'd leave me alone...! Oh, I know: I'll commit 'social suicide' in the school circuit by asking him to the Valentine's Ball. See what I mean about smug couples? Bloody Valentine's Ball! Yep, just rub it in...!

well. dogman was a bit rubbish to start with. he was the one who said it was a bit boring chatting on email to someone you havent met. then he said he was impatient and the conversation didnt really flow.

I know for a fact he fancied me.
And i know for a fact he fancied me in the cinema.

So?? who knows. Not my problem. I wont email him anything. no point and a bit desperate.

Been talking all day to a very nice man, lets call him stardust. Very nice. Not so much of a looker, but lots of chat, loads in common and hes asked me out for later in the week. Im looking forward to it.

Wolf man - also nice - have plans for tuesday or satuday. Depening

grandad top - have plans for sat. which i may cancel. not sure. not really chatted much.

the one fromm the time before.- have plans for sunday. WHIch i will most likely cancel.

there must be something about your biological clock, that when you fancy them your brain fast forwards about 4 years. didnt do it when i was younger... totally does it now. its a bit embarassing.

@ Stella - listen to Elasta!

oh an russel brand. - who ive viewed once and didnt even message as i thought he was way out of my league. Looks like russel brand. signs in a band. nuff said.

i cant meet russel brand for a drink. hes too cool and good looking. im not cool. I look cool but im not ( maybe this is the problem!)

has he asked you? in which case of course you can!

re teacher advice!

Agree entirely re canoodling couples. I think its one of those things - like seeing loads of pregnant women when you're feeling broody, I can always guarantee when I'm at my lowest ebb re men, the streets are full of couples engaging in PDAs. In my defence, I've never been one of those couples, except for when I was with theonewhobrokemyheart, and the less said about that the better.

Mzd, thought your reply to that email was brilliant, I wish I had your way with words, I'd never send an email like that but I wish I could, I tend to just come over all pathetic re this men stuff!

Elasta shame re university man, but at least you've been the one to do the deciding, iyswim. hope physio and the other gsm man are an improvement on radioman - and I think you hit the nail on the head with him when you said he probably isnt after a LTR...

BFF has been round today to cheer me up as she was worried I was getting depressed - she's great at the cheering up stuff, plus her (romantic) life is about a million times more chaotic and stressful than mine so that also makes me feel better :) We've also been enjoying some property porn on rightmove which is always a welcome distraction!

She also said to me that she thinks I'm very fussy, and that being fussy is no bad thing- means I know what I want, and wont accept anything less - the fact I am means I have to expect to be single a fair bit of the time, because they're aren't many men who meet my (high) standards :) Am going to try and look at it in that way from now on......

yes. he asked me.

there has been no other conversation.

first message.

'please meet me for a drink'

he looks like russel brand!!! i love russel brand.
All skinny jeans and long hair and stubble.

I am not cool. I have slippers that look like dogs.

I might look cool and rock chic in most of my pics.

i am sometimes.

Today, not so much. - jogging bottoms and a fleece.