Where have all the fit, interesting and available men gone (part 28)

[ninah]

lilac where are you????!

@ sponge - thanks but like I said, hadn't actually meant to send it .... but maybe there's no such thing as an accident.

Stupid thing is, if he'd been honest and said 'look, after all these years, all I want now is a shag - I might have gone for it' - was because i thought there was possiblility of relationship - albeit a not very desirable ldr - i chose not to have sex with him ...

Still his loss not mine .... and you are not fussy, just selective and long may it continue. You will find someone and he will be worth the wait.

I meanwhile am not grieving overly much - and have been enjoying myself greatly with Theatreman ... fourth date yesterday (and he stayed over - was even happy with being booted out at silly o'clock in the morning) and seeing him on Thursday when he's coming round ... and also on Saturday (for mysterious event details of which he won't divulge though says need to dress up a bit ...)

Absolutely sure he's not 'the one' but then don't think such a person exists ... but he is sweet, generous and makes me laugh .... so happy to spend time with him for as long as we both feel the same way.

And tookool - write message back saying 'Why not? I'll be in xxx at 8o'clock on the xth. See you then."

That's it ... and it's cool! (Probably best to not wear the slippers though!)

Mz, maybe he isn't 'the one' but sounds like you are getting out and about and enjoying the company which is what it should be about and don't forget people can grow on you.

tookool - agree, just message him. He may well not be as cool in real life as he might appear from his photos! :)

mzd - 4th date with theatreman blimey you kept that one quiet! glad you're enjoying spending time with him...and as for him not being 'the one' well I've had 'the one' and frankly its not all its cracked up to be :)

know what you mean - and like I said, i've never been a huge believer in the idea of soulmates/the one anyway

I like Theatreman - and I'm happy enough to continue - if he grows, he grows - if he doesn't, so be it. As long as no one gets hurt ...

Oh don't worry, I replied :) I'm not shy.
I expect he is cook. There's a few pics of him singing with his band, looking like some kind of rock legend then one if him in a coffee shop in glasses looking a bit Jonny drop like. He's a psychologist. He doesn't look like he wears dog slippers. LOL.
I doubt he was being serious, and it was clearly looks based, so its unlikey ill actually go.
4 th date... wow.
How on earth do you all fit all these different dates in ?

well, first was before xmas and second week between xmas and new year ... and last two on hte last two Saturdays ...

LOve your list TooKool!!

MzD - Yay for 4th date.

Does it count as me having had 3 dates with Download now...?

To be fair we have had conversations for a bit of 2 & 3...

you get in there and go for a drink with Russel Brand! can you even think?! of not going for a drink with russel brand?!

well. hes not replied to my message. so i doubt there will be a drink with russel brand. Which is a good thing because i cant date russel brand.

stardust sent me a text last night, saying how nice it had been talking to me and that he was looking forward to meeting me, and that if i cant get a sitter mid week, then hes happy to cancel his weekend plan and we can do something saturday.

Odd thing though. I was just stalking ( i know, shouldnt be doing it) dogman, on pof ( not clicking on his profile though, as i know he would see that id done that. Now, when im logged in, i cant see him. But if i log out i can. But i didnt think you could block people from viewiing you... in fact, just checked their help section, and you cant?
Unless he has hidden his profile?

I could date russel brand! ;)

I dont really want to date russel brand. id just like to shag him.

a lot.

I think that's what i actually meant (is celibate, not dead!)

Hi Tookool

re PoF - think you can't tell when someone has looked at your profile ie once you've looked you dont' come up again in the list of people who've viewed your profile though you might appear in the top list of people who are online and have ever viewed your profile ... not sure if that makes sense ...

and re competitive celibacy - try five years - actually, no, don't try it ...

5 years??

5 whole years.

Bloody hell. I should stop complaining shouldnt i.

snape- lol.

five years!

I did contemplate never having (cough!) relations (cough!) again this morning and it's just an awful thought. I'm only 42. is that part of my life actually over?

of course it's not snape - ffs I'm 46 and not quite written myself off yet.

And tbh, was not for lack of offers ... more logistics and the fact that I have very high standards ... and a previously mentioned frog-spit allergy.

As I've posted, have recently met someone ... and while on paper he may not be my match, he's someone I'm certainly happy to spend time with at the moment so please don't give up, hard though it sometimes undoubtedly is. Try and keep a thickish skin, take most of them with a pinch of salt, maintain a good sense of humour ... and remember you never know what's round the corner ...

I'm really very picky as well when I'm feeling good about myself, I realise that I have brought up three brilliant kids (their dad left when I had 3 under 5) worked full time in 'important' job (recognising that I am not defined by my job, & thats lotsof jobs are 'important' but I help a lot of people and that?s a good thing..) I've lost 4 stone in the last couple of years (going from a spongey 20 to a voluptuous 14/16) I'm funny and sparky and intelligent. I'm kind, loyal and generous. I'm worth far, far more than a quick bunk up after someone has deigned to buy me a VnT. Apart from the occasional dips in self confidence that are basically to do around rejection and abandonment issues (my dad left when I was five, my first serious bf moved away; we lost contact, my husband buggered off?) then I'm pretty bloody wonderful and if 'people' (by which I mean men!) don't get that - then it's their loss. Picky, picky, picky!

Oh, I might give it another whirl. If nothing else, the attention is somewhat gratifying, even if it is just unsolicited pictures of disembodied tadgers. Certainly seems to be keeping me out of trouble!

(sense of humour absolutely intact, if a little dark!)

very true. :)

Its all about what your after isnt it. At the momment im after a relationship, when that comes to nothing, probably in about a months time, i shall go looking for something a little more casual to tide me over :) Then, ill get fed up with that, want more, and decide i want a relationship.

And then one day, the real russel brand shall realise what a fool he was to marry that silly perry woman, and shall beg me for my hand in marriage.

Stardust has text me today. how is my day,On paper we have lots and lots in common, lots to say to each other, flowing nicely. hes not so much to look at in pics. but you cant really tell. But the biggest shocker of all is that hes blonde. ( long blonde hair and stubble) i have never in my life even flirted with a man with blonde hair.
How weird is that?

snape - you sound lovely. id i was male, id ask you out! lol
im much the same -fecking wonderful.

With an occassional dip in self confidence to do around rejection.

but you know what - thats normal. Anyone would feel the same, its not a nice thing.

men just dont know what they want i think.
The nice ones should want you :)
Give it another whirl.

And - this will be the last dogman post - promise. Just reading texts back ( god, i need help) All texts had previously ended with a x. Texts sent after date on friday still ended with a x.
Until i asked him round one evening.
then the replied to the birthday ones had no x.

So - ive decided, its not me. or anything i did. We saw 127 hours on friday and he said it really made him think about what was important and that he needed to sort his life out. That, coupled with the hidden profile has made me think hes not actually wanting a relationship right now. ( his daughter is really young too). So its his issues, not anything i did or didnt do.
And that makes me feel better.

tookool well, if it was you, clearly I'd accept, disembodied tadger or not.

we seem to share similar tastes in men. however..(russell brand & Stardusts long blonde hair & stubble! Rrrr!) So we i am afraid we are competitors and shall have to fight to the death, with a baby strapped to each of our backs and with....mascara wands or somesuch!

it's not you tookool. really - you seem to have entered into 'it' with open heart. delete those texts, lovey - it doesn't do to dwell! If he has problems, then experience would suggest, it's best not to invest too much at the early stages.

am trying not to build that wall up too solidly. If he has problems, then i dont really want to get involved. ITS difficult enough dealing with my own. dating for me, is meant to be a fun thing. ( at least in the beginning)

Ah - you share a love of the long hair and stubble look too. Its a very good look i find :) sometimes might make me drool in some kind of attractive homer simpson esq way. lol.

I should share a pic of my mr big. I didnt think such perfection existed. If you lined up some men, including russel brand. id pick mr big. Shame really as russel brand would be probably more reliable ( and thats saying something)

i realise i sound slightly shallow. Im not. or am sometimes. a little bit. I fancied dogman and he didnt have any hair at all!!
Im just very drawn to the hair and stubble, or as my friend says ' men who look like tramps and need a wash'
:)

Texts deleted. Just takes a few days to pick yourself up and get on with it doesnt it.

Tookol Pleased that you are seeing it as Mr Dogmans problem/issie with relationships rather than blaming yourself at last.

I am getting fed up of the nices ones don't seem interested. Dated a guy a couple of times since Nov (Geordie guy), told him Xmas time that I don't want a relationship (should have also added the words 'with yuo') and so he last few times we had been out I thought we were just friends, no flirting/kissing etc of which there had been in the beginning. Keep getting very needy texts now and so had to say once again 'we are friends only' and apparantly I have now broken his heart and he isn't able to see me anymore as he wants more. Feel bad but then I did make myself clear many times.

Now all I need is for the ones I like to feel as strongly as Geordie guy did.

Magic wand anyone?

Lol my mate goes for the tramp look.

I don't know what I go for - my tastes vary so much. Carrot is all about the smile and the eyes. The biker I stalk is just stunningly pretty. Fancy dress boy is just lovely in general. Download isn't overly hot, but is intelligent which is a big turn on.

He is at uni today so not texting much... I miss him. That's a good sign right?

Heart did melt a little last night at Strawb curling up to sleep on Carrot though.

Am v definitely not a fan of men with long hair..persephone and tookool you are welcome to them :) Tend to attract/end up with men with v short or shaved hair, and slightly rough looking. Ex was once told by someone he looked like Ray Winstone (he really doesn't unless you have v v bad eyesight) but has been living off that compliment for years....WM was a break with tradition in that he was actually v pretty, sort of disney prince good looking. Sigh.

I do have quite a thing for hairy chests though. but not hairy shoulders or backs which are quite wrong

tookool, glad to hear you are being positive over dogman. Is def his problem not yours :)

sponge sounds like you and I are attracted to a similar type - so we'll have to get our mascara wands out

Ray Winstone/geezer types def are my sort of man.