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Original poster

Asking daughters' swimming instructor on a date?

226 replies

evolucy7 · 03/10/2010 20:09

Hi there, I have never posted here before, but regularly read threads.

This is my question, and I'd welcome any advice!

I have been single since the father of my 2 daughters who are now 3 and 4 left us in May 2008. Since then I have never been on a date!

Recently I have been thinking about it, and quite fancy my daughters' swimming instructor! It seems I get little opportunity to meet a vast range of men! I don't know if he is single so need to establish that, I'll look for wedding ring on Tuesday.

What does anyone think about the whole scenario, if he doesn't have a wedding ring he still might not be single anyway, if he isn't or just isn't interested I will have to take my girls to their lessons every week and might feel a fool! Also I don't really know how I could find out or ask him anyway, on the pool side with loads of other parents & children?! He's a great swimming instructor and I would want to keep them in his lessons for as long as possible.

Or should I just forget the whole idea!

Any thoughts anyone please, thanks, Lucy

OP posts:
Original poster
evolucy7 · 05/12/2010 10:35

And let's be honest, I am not about to write a letter declaring love for him, the worst that might happen is that if I did get more solid indications that he may like me, I may if feeling very brave broach the subject of a drink perhaps, the worst that may happen is he says no! Though not sure I would do that! Hmm

OP posts:
emmaneezerscrooge · 05/12/2010 10:37

I've been reading this thread, and it makes me smile - even IF you're seeing things tht aren't there - I bet its a nice distraction from the day today mundaneity of life isn't it?

Maybe its better to keep it as a daydream, maybe not, who knows...

beats writing a shopping list at night though eh Xmas Wink

oh and if this is ever serialised,I vote for it to be called 'Treading Water',and it'll be a rom-com-romp,and doubtlessly the writeups will involve references to 'being thrown in at the deep end' and 'a tsunami of passion'

pigsinmud · 05/12/2010 14:44

No I wasn't suggesting you were going to write a letter declaring love, just an illustration of how this mother has misunderstood all their conversations!

I hope he does like you ....I am of the negative persuasion. Can you tell a friend how you feel and take friend with you to watch swimming lessons and see if she notices anything?

Ask him what he's doing for Christmas? If he says he's going to his mum and dads with no mention of partner, then you have more of a clue.

Jellykat · 05/12/2010 17:50

Shock at Schilke re. the 'bunny boiler' insinuation..

Grin at the serialisation titles-how about "lust at the Lido",
"Heart and Sole",
or "The water wings of passion" ?..

Will you keep posting Lucy? Am dieing to know what happens next!! Smile

pigsinmud · 05/12/2010 19:03

Oh gawd I really wasn't insinuating that evolucy was a bunny boiler! I was just thinking about situations when someone's innocent friendly behaviour was taken the wrong way.

Original poster
evolucy7 · 05/12/2010 19:27

Its ok schilke Smile

Yes Jellykat....you can console or congratulate me, whichever ir appropriate when the time comes Grin

At least this seems to be entertaining for a few, better than writing shopping lists yes, which reminds me got to go to Asda tomorrow, better write a list. Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
evolucy7 · 05/12/2010 20:54

Oh and by the way thanks everyone for finding this thread interesting, was starting to worry whether it was all a little self-indulgent Blush

OP posts:
SaggyHairyArse · 05/12/2010 21:13

I have been reading and meaning to post...

I deffo think you should ask him out for a drink, something along the lines of "I know this is a bit awkward and I don't want to put you on the spot but I was wondering if you in would like to go out for a drink one evening"?

Have a day in mind if he says yes and if he says no,just nod and smile and say you understand.

All will be well. He will be flattered and you will know one way or the other.

:-)

MollieO · 05/12/2010 21:27

Have read most of your thread. I think he is just being friendly.

Sounds like my ds's golf coach. Very chatty, friendly, calls me by a shortened version of my name - I don't introduce myself as that and it implies a level of friendship if someone calls me that. Takes a real interest in ds and sends me emails about different things that occur to him. I have absolutely no doubt that he doesn't fancy me at all. He is just a friendly person and enjoys teaching ds.

If he knows you are single and hasn't responded to your various comments by now I doubt that he is thinking it is anything more. It is nice however to have someone teaching your dcs that you actually like.

Original poster
evolucy7 · 05/12/2010 21:43

Does he know I am single? If he did, and knew I was interested and he wasn't interested would he be becoming more friendly with me as time goes on?
He may not like me and he may not realise that I like, so he may be just being friendly.

Why don't you think your son's golf coach fancies you?

OP posts:
Original poster
evolucy7 · 05/12/2010 21:45

What I mean is what has distinguished just being friendly in your case?

OP posts:
MollieO · 05/12/2010 22:36

Just don't think he does (and I also know he is married).

I do think he takes a special interest in ds but I reckon that is because ds is (a) good at golf and (b) the sort of child that people seem to have strong opinions about (either really like or can't stand).

Original poster
evolucy7 · 05/12/2010 22:49

Do you fancy him?

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MollieO · 05/12/2010 23:08

He's very good looking and very friendly but no not in the slightest! I do think it is job to be friendly though.

NoelEdmondshair · 05/12/2010 23:17

But what about when the two of you were talking and your arms were touching? No way would I stand chatting to someone and not move my arm away if I wasn't attracted to them.

Agree with asking him what he's doing for Christmas.

Am hoping for happy outcome Xmas Smile

Spatz · 05/12/2010 23:29

Just googled my kids' swimming teacher and found this:
http://www.youtube.com/user/SXCmikeSXC

look about 1 min in.

I thought he was such a nice boy....

Spatz · 05/12/2010 23:30

Sorry, wasn't clear - he's the white rapper

Original poster
evolucy7 · 06/12/2010 21:13

pmsl...that's not really him surely? Confused

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Spatz · 06/12/2010 21:27

It truly truly is and he is a real sweetheart.

I've often wondered whether I fancy him! Fortunately decided I'm too old.

I can't wait to see him on sunday. DS is planning to say "Ed why do you swear?" Our plan is to see how much we can make him blush. He is not at all 'out' among parents at the pool.

Original poster
evolucy7 · 06/12/2010 21:46

pmsl.....it just goes to show Grin

Absolutely hilarious, makes the fact that the object of my desires put on facebook that he liked hardcore techno seem a little tame Hmm

He does look cute, I can imagine before seeing this he probably seemed lovely!

OP posts:
Spatz · 06/12/2010 21:49

I look at it his clip and think 'why are you being so silly?'.

I feel a bit weird that he touches my kids. But I know he is also the guy I know at the pool. I've chatted to him for ages when people don't turn up for lessons and as my dd said "it doesn't mean he's not a good swimming teacher"

Jellykat · 06/12/2010 21:56

MMMmm MMmmmm,Hubba Hubba Spatz!..

Now that is one helluva swimming teacher!!Bit dangerous,but worth a drool!

Reckon Lucys' is a safer bet, makes "Drag me to hell" seem tame!

Original poster
evolucy7 · 06/12/2010 21:57

lol @ 'why are you being so silly?'

Your DD is absolutely right, it sometimes is shame that as adults we don't always see things in such a straightforward sensible way.

OP posts:
Spatz · 06/12/2010 21:58

He doesn't seem remotely dangerous or worth a drool, although you can't see his body under all the hoodies!

His partner is having a baby in january and I'm sure he'll be a lovely dad.

Jellykat · 06/12/2010 22:06

Aaah sweet.. Shes a lucky lady!

You can still look tho' eh?...