Asking daughters' swimming instructor on a date?

[evolucy7]

Hi there, I have never posted here before, but regularly read threads.

This is my question, and I'd welcome any advice!

I have been single since the father of my 2 daughters who are now 3 and 4 left us in May 2008. Since then I have never been on a date!

Recently I have been thinking about it, and quite fancy my daughters' swimming instructor! It seems I get little opportunity to meet a vast range of men! I don't know if he is single so need to establish that, I'll look for wedding ring on Tuesday.

What does anyone think about the whole scenario, if he doesn't have a wedding ring he still might not be single anyway, if he isn't or just isn't interested I will have to take my girls to their lessons every week and might feel a fool! Also I don't really know how I could find out or ask him anyway, on the pool side with loads of other parents & children?! He's a great swimming instructor and I would want to keep them in his lessons for as long as possible.

Or should I just forget the whole idea!

Any thoughts anyone please, thanks, Lucy

No, not a cross dresser!..A horror film lover!American film released last year,don't think i'll be rushing to see it, looks very grimly..

Exactly...not my scene at all....

Jellykat..sent you pm

Just had a look!.. No you can do better!!!hes into watching footy on Sundays, and his mums cooking.. and Arsenal!!!

Look at his wall, he describes women from Stratford on Avon as 'posh totty'

EEEEeeeeeeWwwwwww

pmsl...I know it looks terrible, but he just does not seem like this

Thing is my sister's other half for example would describe some women as 'posh totty' and he is a great bloke, and seriously I mean great bloke, good job etc, my sister is smart attractive etc...I would have normally said run a mile, but perhaps I've missed a whole a group of men who may admit to this but are actually really nice...I'm the one sitting her single lol

Hmmm Well maybe he just hasn't met the right woman

But the Arsenal t-shirt will have to go!

The 'totty' word will have to be banned!

He does have a 'warm/friendly face tho'

Oh good god yes the Arsenal shirt....and certainly never in public!
Thing is I'm starting to wonder whether he might call me 'posh totty' I'm not either really, but I am probably well spoken certainly compared to a lot of women around here, and my girls do go to a private school, a reasonably priced one that my parents pay half for, (and this was a choice to do with being lone parent and giving them a secure school environment, not against state education necessarily), but he will know this from when they go swimming with school as they did today! By the way my eldest told me that when she came out of swimming she was talking to Dave lol!
Thing is he seems so nice and gentle and calm....and then he claims to like bizarre horror films and techno!

PMSL at your fear of being 'posh totty'.. He can be your 'bit of rough' then!!

The horror film thing is pretty bog standard boy stuff, but the hardcore techno IS a problem, just make sure your bass level is turned down, or your neighbours will hate you forever!and hide his whistle!

pmsl...hide the whistle!
Ok we'll ignore the horror film thing...
You see he's not that bad ...I keep looking at his picture and thinking he looks troubled and maybe needs some 'posh totty'
I'm not going to be able to help myself from asking him about the latest horror films next week lol

Well if the arms touching thing made you goosepimpley,you have to at least give it a go!

We could end up like Miss bloody Havisham,waiting for who we think is Mr Right!

Theres a horror type film on now,YEUCH!Could only watch them with XP, and even then i'd have to hide my eyes while he narrated ,until it was 'safe' to look!Was always a good excuse to get him to take the dog out for a last pee tho'

Whens' the next swim?

You will invite me to the wedding won't you

tbh...yes the arm touching thing did do it for me
The girls have group lesson on Tuesday but its hard to speak to him then so many parents, but I am getting braver, maybe I'll take a whistle!!
Then I am waiting for him to confirm Thursday or Saturday for youngest's private lesson, at that point we can talk.....
God yes the wedding...I can hear the music now...thud thud thud thud thud thud......

I'll teach you how to do the 'big box, little box' dance! Its a classic..

Best frock for you then on Tuesday!
Whilst clutching a dayglo stick,horror mag,and Arsenal scarf..

Or I could be controversial and wear a Tottenham scarf (that's right isn't it they are the other local team..I went out with guy from Barnet years ago...seem to remember this lol)

See, you are a footy buff already!Learn the offside rules and he'll be putty in your hands!

Let me know if anything juicy happens!!

Fingers crossed..

Just talking to a friend on facebook..now I've been looking on it for the first time in ages..... and she and her husband are saying ask him out next week go on have some balls...
She did say lose the shitty football shirt

On facebook whenever you click on one of those "Like" things they seem to classify themselves as an "interest" under films, tv etc. Some of my friends have really odd things under there that they clicked once because they thought it was funny or resonated with them or whatever, and it doesn't necessarily reflect their actual interests. So I wouldn't set too much store by that.

Looking troubled though... don't be a rescuer. Good luck! Sounds exciting :)

How long until term ends (ie how many more school swimming lessons)? And what are the possibilities for continuing private lessons during the hols?

If you can, hold back a bit. I'm not sure about The Rules, but I think you need an unambiguous show of interest from him. Otherwise you're back to Niceguy2's list of unappealing qualities.

What is hardcore techno?

lol NoelEdmondshair.....do you think your Dave is into Hardcore techno? (music by the way)

Could you go swimming on your own one day, when the children are at school? Hopefully he will be working and you can say hi and ......

Could you go swimming on your own one day, when the children are at school? Hopefully he will be working and you can say hi and ......

Or send a friend request on face book.

Could you not get your 3 year old to ask winsomely "Dave - are you married? Do you have a girlfriend?". You then laugh and gasp (winsomely) at your dd's charming forthrightness and wait for his reply.

Shame it's not Lincolnshire Dave or my 6 year old would happily ask for you

lol...I did mention to my 4 year old after we had seen him at the pool, and she had been hugging him saying she liked him, I said to her 'do you think Dave has any children?' and she said 'I don't know', so I said 'ask him next time you see him' and she 'No Mummy you ask him!' So that told me

at you Lucy.. trying to get your DD to do the groundwork!!

Shame Dave isn't around here,my DS2 can weedle out any info. he's as subtle as a brick tho' so it would end with "Lucy wants to know,cos she thinks you're lush"