thx all, feel better for some fresh air if nothing else
Ninah, what ASBM said with cloggs on 
that's what I keep thinking, should give myself a break as can't be superwoman and actually just doing ok for the DDs is not bad for a start
XH is twunt but maybe is me should stop reacting to the control bit and let it wash over me - if it doesn't get to me then no win for him. I am a well-known control freak 
what tends to happen is that seeing the DDs makes him sad, he then blames me for feeling sad as I sort of represent a focus for his blame/anger - he can't turn it in on himself or he would fall off a cliff, far easier to project onto me. So I get moody grumpy bugger hanging round the house
I will give him another week and if there is no indication he is getting his act together then I will prod, hard. I've even offered to write out a list of my 'unreasonable' behaviour so he can divorce me if it helps him save face and get a bit of a move on (e.g., there are 2 ways of stacking a dishwasher/making a bed/packing a car for hols/etc/etc/etc, my (right) way and his (wrong) way, see I am the wife from hell
)
Monty, I wfh when I can but nearly always on a fri as it saves me me the madness of the commute/long distance to see customers. I find by Thurs I am dropping with it so it works ok. But I had got used the last 6 weeks to him not being here on Fridays and today was a shock to the system
BUT, sun is now shining here and there is a fabulous double rainbow across the valley so y'know, could be worse
off to put the DDs to bed, then bottle will be well and truly cracked
Lou, hope he turns up soon and please could you come and run me a bath too lol