Where have all the fit, interesting and available men gone (part 24)

[Remotew]

Hello!

yes mine would too
let's face it they deserve it

hi everyone

god, what happened today? Friday 13th really is proving to be the worst

SCL poor you, that is the pits

today started badly and went down hill from there. So wound up because XH coming to spend the day with the DDs for the 1st time in more than a month and I never know what mood he will be in, find it really difficult having him round the house, but only way for him to spend any time with the kids since he saw fit to move an hour away and only has a rented room so nowhere for the DDs to go. Found myself bursting into tears at having to chase DD2 round the house to get a nappy on her (bless her she was finding it hilarious) soon followed by snotogram from v senior customer and then XH turns up and I was just in such a state

hid away in my office all day

came out to make a cuppa to find the kitchen in chaos - why I think he would stop doing that now he doesn't live here when he was rubbish at it for 15 years I don't know but I get so wound up at the thought that I have to spend my Friday eve getting the house back into some semblance of order GAH!!

and not a word about what happens next for us - for all I know he still hasn't seen a solicitor or done anything useful at all on that front

I really just want to move on, get on with my life

but I have emailed a couple of SWKs

so I am trying

i think he probably likes to think he will get a reaction from you by his behaviour, his last desperate attempt at trying to stay in control

i think we can all sympathise with you on that

it's v hard not to rise to their provocation sometimes isnt it?

as an aside, dp just called, he sounds like he is flagging

he was hoping they would let him leave early today but that isnt happening so he has to stick it out til 5.30 then sit on the motorway for about a year to get down to me

i dont think i helped by telling him i was just about to go have a nice bath

you have my sympathy by the bucket load
i couldn't bear to have my exh in my house
the onus is on him here to take the girls out and he needs to find somewhere to live which is suitable to have them too
atm he's just taking liberties and more importantly is confusing his dcs by invading your space
are you divorced yet?
how long have you been separated?

ooh lovely a bath without the sound of "Mum!!" every 5 mins

sorry everyone is having a true to form fri 13th
scl is anyone sorting you out yet? worth checking with neighbours? I'd ask ll to deal with TW anyway, I'd imagine if in the unlikely case it's your house it will be his call to pay too?
my bed turned up and it's horrible,
really badly made
just lying on it will make me dream of sweated labour, oh dear
part is actually faulty and I am trying to arrange a replacement but it was the first bit out of the bag and now I loathe all of it lol

have you still got your other one? don't tell me that you bought it from dreams? i've yet to hear of any satisfied customers from there!

ninah poor you, pants pants pants

asbm, separated since last Oct, not divorced yet, he 'changed his mind' in Feb when I moved my funds (and considerable expenses, ie everything) to my own account - he actually thought I was going to subsidise him to leave us . We did counselling but he wouldn't discuss properly the fundamental issues that had driven us apart (Internet porn chatrooms for e.g.) and then he changed his mind again because I wasn't 'moving on' for which read he has OW....

Lou, you are so right, it's like it would be an admission of guilt or something for him to treat me/my house with respect, like he's doing me a favour spending the day with the kids

hope you have a lovely evening by the way, even if it is just relaxing to the sound of dp's snoring

how far are you down the divorce route?

yes, still have other one! and no, not dreams, an ebay company
maybe it will look OK when it is fixed together. Wish I'd gone for quality 2nd hand rather than 'bargain' new

I have seen my solicitor , had the house valued, had my pension assessed etc

he has done nothing, I don't even have an address for him so can't serve papers

and TBH I feel like I am treading on eggshells with him, partly for the girls' sake but also because I don't want to provoke a reaction that causes him to push for a crazy settlement. He works part time/evenings and weekends in the fitness industry and has a sob story about making ends meet (actually earns quite weel but chose to move to one of the most expensive boroughs of the most expensive city in Europe when he walked out ).

I would really like not to have to sell the house so am hoping to convince him to take a reasonable lump sum but he may push for more and not sure where that takes us. He also wanted spousal maintenance last time the subject came up which would put the tin lid on things for me as on top of all the family expenses from before I now have to pay a (lovely) nanny 4 days a week which makes things tight

I am very lucky not to be dependent on him for anything financially but god I work hard for it and try to do my best for the girls

I haven't had a night off since october and am feeling knackered and sorry for myself

feel a bit better for venting. Have done a 12 hour day so far in a 6 ft sq home office so am off out for a quick walk to get the papaer and some fresh air b4 xh buggers off to ow at 7pm.........

see you all later no doubt

what are they going to do about the faulty part?

get the papers served to him at your address then
as lou said it's all about their last bit of controlling you

swap it asbm
he keeps saying Tuesday and I am telling him I am not here til NEXT Tuesday
I will email one more time to confirm the right date and then try and forget it
so much for my fresh new independent start
the good thing (for me) is they are still selling them so won't want poor feedback
mummyily you have a lot on your plate

Mummy - do you work from home? I'm not sure I could stand that arrangement with exh either . Don't know what alternatives there are, apart from if he wants to see dds he lives somewhere suitable to accommodate them. In the meantime I would be telling him and his bad moods to do one.

Ninah - are they going to replace the bed?

Lou - sounds like you might be having a quiet night lol. Bliss.

ASBM - there's one of those Dreams shops near me, I went in there a couple of times, it is horrendous.

Well tfi Friday .
It's tipping it down here and set to continue and I'm going to an airshow on Sunday until Monday and the forecast for that is also very wet. Oh well, we might have to find a hostelry with a view of the planes lol.

I've been looking at hols online for me and Al in October. Probably just a week, I don't think my guilt would take any more than that.

Oops loads of xposts.

well he is now sitting in the usual appalling friday evening traffic, probably wanting to cry

at least he is on his way though

which airshow is it mont?
ninah you are making a fresh new independent start despite what's happenend with your new bed
however i bet that now you've gone for a smaller bed you'll doubtlessly meet a new bloke

oh god not the A3?
i'm crying on his behalf too lou

Lou - have you run him a nice bath?

Mummy - wow, you have got a lot on your plate. I guess what ASBM says makes sense, you could serve the papers to him the next time he comes. In the end the solicitors employed bailiffs and even they had a hard time serving dh his, they went to the flat loads of times and he and ow would never answer the door. I think in the end they posted them in the door because they knew they there in and the court accepted they were served. I could never understand this either, he went off with another woman etc so why not get a move on??? Possibly exh was waiting for an economic recovery at the time and hoping the house would increase in value etc. Anyway, in the end I bought him out. twunt

m3, m25, a3

poor bastard

ah, you're right
was a bit of a symbolic purchase iykwim
it's been cats and dogs here too don't dare look at next week's forecast for wales

bath running

ASBM - Eastbourne, they fly over the beach it's great .

fashionable anorak, monty lol