Not desperately happy for years, I figured DH was depressed (refused to leave the house - with his friends or me). DD2 born October. ?OW started working at his place whilst he was on paternity leave.
He started talking about new girl at work. He'd made a friend. It was nice, he had been lacking in friends for so long. Said she was alone in the area (not from round here - no family or friends). Started talking on msn a lot. Was going out more, but it was Christmas and work dos so not entirely suspicious tbh - he was texting me from them etc as normal.
I met her a few times (came round for dvds etc).
Then in January I got upset (have had trust issues forever - just who I am), yelled that he clearly preferred her to me and did he want to leave. He said he felt nothing for her, but wasn't sure he loved me either :( Spent the next few months attempting to fix things, but with her coming round a lot (sort of became a family friend, but we were still trying to keep her more "his" friend as I knew he needed someone).
Eventually we decided that it wasn't working as we were, so he would move out, we'd start our relationship from scratch. I was still seeing her individually.
It then came out that he had been to see her a few times late at night for talks. He said he had hugged her but no more than that ever and again, he felt nothing, he just needed someone. He never hid it from me, but didn't actually mention it until I asked him outright.
Throughout he has maintained that he has no interest in her. His story has changed on his feelings towards me, but that is the one thing that has sounded completely genuine.
She has also denied any interest in him.
When the "hugs" thing came out, I sent her an email asking her to explain why she never backed off, even though she knew that she was causing problems - he said that she would reply, and she never did.
When I wasn't accusing her of being a whore, we got on really well.
Soooooooooooooooooooooo many people (99%) telling me that no man ever just leaves due to lack of love, he must be sleeping with her etc etc. I have rummaged through his flat so much - there isn't the tiniest scrap of evidence of any relationship. When he moved from one flat to the other, I suspected him of going to her place, but when I went round unexpected, he had clearly spent the night in his own place, on a sleeping bag on a filthy carpet - rather than a clean bed near work iyswim.
I still don't know.