Where have all the fit, interesting and available men gone (part 24)

[Remotew]

Hello!

eve - oooh good news! when's your date?

Ninah!

Agree about sailor... trust instincts. Annoying as that is as i liked the sound of him. :(

Thinking of all of you with family problems.

Seeing Carrot tomorrow. We decided Saturday is too far away . We are going out for a drink I think. Not sure we'd be safe with a dvd... That will however make it date four by Saturday so I will feel less of a slut if anything happens. :o

Hello all...

Elasta - agree with Janos. Good that you had a nice time with sailor, but trust your instincts. Understand entirely you wanting to give family priority, and hope your mum is ok. You are v right to want to enjoy time with her while you can (although that's not in any way to say you shouldn't have a life of your own...I just think you have to do what feels right for you at the time).

kdk - :( re your mum, hope she is now on the mend, and doing well. It's a huge op I know so a slow road to recovery, but good to hear all ok so far.

Ninah - absolutely re DD, is exactly the sort of thing my Ex would try and brush under the carpet and make sound innocuous..which I think I've spelt wrong. How lucky that passing stranger was there to help her though. One of the worst things about splitting with Ex was that whilst I know he wouldn't deliberately hurt either of the boys, I know he isn't as careful about stuff as I am...luckily they are of an age where they're fairly independent now so this is less of a worry. But I do feel for you.

Mily - Prof sounds genuine to me, from what you've said of his situation it sounds pretty messy anyway. As you said, he knows where you are. Meanwhile get to know GM, and see how it goes :) oh, and well done re the decluttering. I have loads to do, but keep putting it off!

Janos - you are definitely not old and decrepit, far from it! but can understand why other stuff has knocked your confidence - however just think that he is a fool, as shown by his recent behaviour, and therefore whatever his opinion is good or bad, it doesnt count :)

Eve - so one, possibly 2 dates! keep us posted

Re WM, I do think, after the text marathon on Friday, that he does like me. I don't think he's stringing me along, but equally I'm not sure if he likes me enough to do anything about it. He isn't working for me at present although he will be again in another month or so (am waiting for plumber - who is booked up for next 4 weeks- to do his bit, then WM will be doing his stuff). We are going to a party together in a few weeks, so I can always jump on him there. Failing which may have to take kdk up on her offer of going round to give him a kick

Hi all,

Thanks for your comments, am going to leave sailor to his own devices for a bit. If he is a player I expect he will quietly disappear, if not he can make the effort. Shame really, as he is fun and so fit he makes me swoon! He is 48 BTW, which goes to show you dont have to be young to be fit.

After a long chat this morning, my brother bless him has kicked up a stink at the doctors and managed to get an emergency referral for mum. A very sheepish GP has detected a suspected tumour in her mouth! Fingers crossed they may actually diagnose her properly this time. It will be her 3rd admission to hospital in 3 weeks. Am hopeful we might be able to do something for her.

@ elasta - thinking of you - it's a bugger when your parents get on and especially if they start getting health problems. Hope you get a diagnosis soon and that they can do something for your mum.

On Friday (the day after her bypass op), my mum was very confused and looked really vacant - and it reminded me so much of my father who had Alzheimer's - for a moment I thought oh Christ, not again as I'm not sure I could deal with that twice ... isn't that horrid of me?

On a stranger note, the guy who messaged me on Soulmates (one who used to be with friend of my ex-best friend) told me "I forgive you for not recalling me instantly - you were certainly the more memorable: you look and sound as though you've softened your image a little since, but I recall you as an strikingly passionate character, and possibly the most furious smoker I've ever met. I hope you don't think I'm being rude: I don't mean to be - I recall being very impressed and not a little intimidated... I would have thought you'd have plenty of suitors - you look great - but I suppose men my age are a bit intimidated if they don't have kids, and I guess it gets very complicated if they do."

Quite weird as I remember that I always felt short, fat and unattractive - probably why I smoked so much! Shows how our perception of ourselves can be so at odds with how other people see us - Sponge that means you!

elasta - hope the hospital give you a proper diagnosis for your mum. Must be v worrying.

kdk - I don't think its horrid at all; I can't imagine how hard it must be to deal with a parent with Alzheimers.

on a more positive note though, what a lovely - and genuine - compliment from that guy :) It is true that people always see us so differently than we see ourselves, I will try and remember that - my friends all tell me they were v intimidated by me when they first met me, and all thought I had loads of men after me (when in fact it's quite the reverse).

Apparently WM is in a bad mood today. coincidentally so am I (mainly as I haven't heard from him!) I could text him and try to cheer him up, but am going to leave it and see if he comes to me. Or not.

kdk, how do you remember this guy, is it worth keeping in touch?

I got a message from someone who knew me by sight once. He said he thought I was a bit standoffish! but I might have been just shy.

I do remember him - but suppose I always thought of him as half of 'xxxxxxxx and yyyyyyyyy' iykwim ....

Also, was during my (pre-dc) heavy drinking/bolivian marching powder days so don't have any huge memories - do remember we all used to have a bloody good laugh - was a mixed group of gay guys/single straight women/straight couples - sadly no single straight guys for some reason!

Will definitely keep in touch - if only to get the gossip on what everyone is up to after six years or so - not sure would ever be more than friendship though.

On another site, have exchanged messages with a polo-player who judging by his attire, may not be averse to a spot of fox-hunting as well - not entirely sure we have much in common - although I used to like a bit of hunt-sabbing in my younger days!

Also had a message from (yet another) sixty-year-old ... where am I going wrong?

Hey KDK, Perhaps pass him onto me??? Polo playing horsey type is right up my street - am joking - but only a bit!!

No, def no more men required right now, am back off to dorset in the morning to take mum to hospital. Last thing I need is another man to upset my karma

kdk - you don't sound horrible at all. I can only begin to imagine the resources you need to call on when dealing with alzheimers.

And wow..you are obviously made quite an impression there!

elasta - hope your mum is ok. Good luck for your journey tomorrow.

sponge - thank you. I was feeling a wee bitty sorry for myself (quite obviously no doubt) but you are absolutely right. And :) at WM. All I will say is men tend not to 'do' unnecessary communication so I would say it's a safe bet he likes you

Eve - did you hear back from message man yet?

Damn this man. He has to have some big flaw doesn't he?

I was muttering about having run out of tape for my boxes for packing. He turned up with tape. :o Ok, so I didn't exactly get packing done, but meh. I do have tape. Thankfully he is still being gentlemanly and not kissing me til the end of the evening. I am doing well on restraint.

Good luck tomorrow Elasta.

FS - well done at restraint! :) am sure I will not be so sensible if when WM and I ever get it together!

and Carrot will have flaws - no-one's perfect - but there's no reason why they have to be big ones. Try to enjoy it without waiting for something bad to happen, easier said than done I know as I do it all the time!

Ohh FS, keep your fingers crossed!

Thanks all for your wishes, am just leaving in a minute, appointment is this afternoon.

After I decided not to chase him I have had a couple of lovely helpful texts from sailor asking after me and how I am doing with mum - maybe I am judging him a bit harshly, he seems to have given up on the flirting atm and is just being nice - will have to wait and see.

Aww yay for Sailor!

:o HS. I've informed him that he doesn't need to be quite so gentlemanly . Saturday night is my night with no children - I think restraint may be going out the window.

good to see that progress being made with some of the dates/men etc

just a quick update - went to see the paed dietician with ds2 and exh - went well - don't think exh got was he was looking for - good eh in that he didn't come away with a prescriptive diet sheet and portion size. She actually told him that as kids approach the teenage years then they often need same as or even bigger portions than their parents (esp of his age LOL)

He was also trying to point score during the session by saying things like 'you always drink water when you are at mine' and 'you have shredded wheat when you are at mine'
Knob!

The dietician was lovely and actually its very child led/child involved. So we will try to cut down on crisps and change a few breakfasts.

It started by asking what our concerns were and I had to say that overall I wasn't that concerned which sort of put the spotlight on ex's concern and his controlling ways - in fact he mentioned control at the end of it.

I also didn't bring up the fact that his new p is of the food police type.

I do accept that ds2 is a bit overweight but I also know as a yo yo dieter from age 16 (don't do it anymore) that too much emphasis on food/weight issues is counterproductive.

TBH atm I am more concerned over DS1 (very thin btw) and his anger issues. I actually considered calling the police last night as think both ds2 and I were a bit scared of him - he had a complete meltdown and has broken my laptop. My fault of course!!

Sorry off topic but I know the weight thing may be of interest to sponge and ninah

Hello all,
Have been streaminng with cold for the last few days, so have just been lurking, but wanted to say, scl that i'm definitely interested in what your dietician said. DS is 13 and is borderline overweight. I think that they tend to get a bit heavier before growth spurts as well. Glad there's nothing to worry about.

Congratulations to FS and eve for dates,
Best wishes for elasta and kdk and your respective mums.
Hello to everyone else I haven't mentioned by name.

Oh and Janos, once I'm feeling better, we'll arrange a night out and get you feeling good about yourself again

Did somebody mention me and dates? I did have a loose arrangement set up but he didn't confirm or cancel, thought that was very rude. Obviously I didn't go as arranged but still. This was someone I chose because he was older than me so thought I'd message him first and change tack.

Nothing else arranged.

SCL that sounds like a good and positive session re DS2 but can understand your concern with DS1. Don't have any advice, will your ex be any help in this situtation?

Hi all,

Have just got back. My mum has cancer, probably malignant - thats it really, not a total surprise given how sick she is - am doing some research on the internet to try to work out the prognosis. Am going to sit down with my brothers on friday to work out what to do for best

so sorry elasta
I know you won't be able to resist the internet but do be careful, prognosis is always down to an individual rather than stats, the internet can be a frightening place re medical info (my father had cancer)
all best wishes for you and your mum

Thanks Ninah, I work in drug development consultancy so am pretty good at interpreting trials. All in all it was what I expected, its just difficult to hear someone say it to you. Am off to bed in a bit, need to get some sleep and re group

Oh I am so sorry Elasta :(

Well XH now knows about Carrot. He asked who I was going out with tonight (general chat) and I went very red. He phsl and asked who he was . Seemed genuinely pleased for me.

It is weird as it didn't seem the tiniest bit odd him telling me to enjoy myself. I guess maybe we are just best as friends.

I may be forced to kill Carrot though. Bloody chivalrous man. Apparently we are getting to know each other before the stuff. Does he not realise how long it has been?!?! Its nice that he doesn't just want to use me for sex, but I could use some using.

FS he obviously has little willy very good intentions. Sorry couldn't resist . Seriously, it is worth taking your time if you both want something to develop. It's worth remembering when my male friends tell me that jumping into bed when they meet someone they really like isn't what they want to do in the beginning.

Elasta, for you and your news. It's 11 yrs ago that I went through it with my mum.

I've been chatting on FB to the local guy, the one who I know bits about. He knows about the connection. He seems to like internet chat so will carry on but hoping he asks me out. After tonight I've got 3 work free nights and nothing planned.

elasta am so sorry to hear about your mum :(

I was going to have a moan about my crappy life but my problems seem so insignificant - I apologise in advance because I know everyone else has much worse stuff going on and feel bad about going on about all this.

Basically work is awful at present - half my team are going to leave because they are unhappy with the workload/way we are being managed, DS1 is off school with tummyache and I have no idea if he's genuinely ill (which worries me if he is as he had bowel problems as a baby and needed surgery) or faking it- and if he is faking, then why. It only came on after I went to work this morning so am stuck here trying to decide whether or not to go home, hellish work state doesn't help with that decision one bit. Ex is being a pain, found out yesterday he is 'coaching' DS2 now for the 11plus to prove that he is cleverer than DS1 who failed narrowly.....plus WM is ignoring me, and the guy who used to like me at work (and who last week was sending me lots of emails) it turns out has a live-in girlfriend - which doesn't explain why last year he told me he was scared of getting into a relationship and basically turned me down. sorry, i know - other than DS1 - its all quite trivial but the cumulative effect of it all today is a bit much.

Elasta - I'm very sorry about your aunt and now your mum being so ill. :(

Kdk - how is your mum?

Ninah - thank goodness for the passerby.

SCL - glad your gp was on your side .

Well, I went off to Edinburgh alone. I met up with our Juice!! We had a couple of drinks in Edi, and both of us had trouble getting a word in . Things are going very well for her she says a big 'hi' to everyone. Edi is a fantastic place, I loved it and would definitely go again.

Al was phoning and texting since I left and on the Saturday morning just before going to my room to get tarted up showered and dressed for the 'do' I was outside the hotel with a cup of tea and a ciggie and he phoned and asked me what I was up to, then walked up behind me while he was talking. Whilst I was v pleased to see him I'm a bit . We had a lovely couple of days anyway and will be trying to sort stuff out I guess. The wedding was fantastic and the bride was beautiful.

Now back at work and it's very busy and I'm really tired.

Hi to everyone I haven't mentioned.

Sponge - I meant to say I'm sorry you're feeling crap. I think you should just go home to ds. I hope he's ok.