Where have all the fit, interesting and available men gone (part 24)

[Remotew]

Hello!

I do swym exactly, both wrt monogamy and serious vs recreational - pretty much exactly my mindset

the one thing for me that is a no-no is the 'going through the motions' type of experience - if there ain't no spark then the cuppa tea is going to win every time . Went through phases of that with XH. One of the reasons I think I am ready (and have been for some time) to get back out there is that actually had lost the spark with XH a fair while before he left. I was kind of in denial about it because the alternative didn't bear contemplation at the time.
But now the world is my oyster it is quite exciting, although none of the bloody oysters is emailing me, a minor inconvenience

I actually emailed a nice looking/sounding bloke on GSM last night and asked why he thought I wasn't getting any replies...and he answered with some helpful (not horrible) tips about my profile which I have acted upon. So let's see......

fingers crossed

and yes there must be a spark to go there

Hi all :)

Argh for washing machine Lou - that is always my worst appliance to die.

Please can I be told the back story on Mr Boots?? :o

I am officially 16 again. Grinning insanely at texts from hobbit. The spark had better be there in person too or I will be so disappointed. He text to ask how my day was :) I don't remember the last time someone asked me that!

What do you do with ones who won't leave it though? Was talking to a bloke who I wasn't convinced by photos but figured there might be something with chat. He turned out to be slightly dull, intense, and still very into his ex - one of us with baggage is enough! Anyway, asked me out, i said thanks but I don't feel the "thing" type reply. He said I might if I met him . Ignored. Sent another one now asking if he had upset me and if I was ok. What do I do? He seems sweet but not for me and I don;t have the mental space right now to drag him through his break up.

oh just ignore him, he will go away soon enough

boo on the washing machine

geendemon - at having a choice of men

Agree, just ignore him and he will get the message

Thank you :)

Choice seems good, but now I am stupidly besotted with the Hobbit and feel bad because #1 seems lovely but isn't making me bounce with messages. Going to country pub :)

Oh and a note to all - when responding to text about where to meet do NOT use the phrase "I'm easy".

Realised as soon as I pressed send, then sent a text trying to correct myself. But he got them in the wrong order and thought I was having a go at him about something :o

Hi mummy I am still here - just dealing with getting dcs clothes packed (they are off on hol tomorrow with exh, his new p, their dts and the nanny)

They are coming back on Bank Hol Monday and I will miss them but need the break and also to devote some proper time to work.

I find being single parent and working ft very hard. And don't do my job justice tbh.

Also dealing with ds2 being dumped from his football team - he doens't know yet and I have complained to the coach. He was in team last year they did trials and they are now not signing him. Thing was they didn't tell him or me until I pushed. He's only just 9 FFS.

Nice to see new people on the thread think it demonstrates how friendly and welcoming we all are

If the chance of date comes up next week then I will of course go on it.

Also facing a big birthday this weekend and have to get my head around that. People say I don't look it but still it's a bit of an ordeal for me - however am sure once the day passes I will be ok. Gong out with my mate for lunch and then have drinks next friday.a

EXbf still in touch - he has shifted in his attitude to me in a positive way and has made contact with his dcs (long story) and I hope that they will want to meet him soon.

Waves to everyone - sponge sorry wedding man had to go but don't do yourself down - your are gorgeous.

Hi Pinemartina...I found it, attention to detail isn't my greatest strenght...right now need text him back to arrange this first date...ahhh..thiking about pub about 15 min drive away..just in case...god I'm so suspicious..and not sure if I can bluff that I have actually do have a modicum of confidence

scl they are right, you dont look a day over 59

hey scl, big congrats on the birthday front.

I made sure this year that I arranged lots of nice things to do that i don't normally do (for a start it was a weekday and I took the day off work just for me which is unheard of) and I realsied the next day that I had barely thought about what age I was all day, I just had so much fun. I didn't do anything particularly rock'n'roll but it was just nice not to be rushing about, to have a civilised lunch and a bit of culture

d'you know, XH was here today and we were both trying to be more at ease with each other ariound the house (Friday his day with DDs and I work from home most Fridays so can be a bit fraught) and that was all working pretty well. Then I mentioned plan to bin nappies and get DD2 into pants when I have a week off next month. He said 'what are you going to do for fun?'. Throwaway comment but GAH I was furious. Bit my tongue but was thinking, fun? hmm, let's see I remember that concept vaguely....however atm I am working 50+ hrs a week and looking after the girls every morning, evening and weekend and I haven't got time for FUN

I do know what you mean about FT work and lone parenting. I had a very bleak moment on Weds eve where a lovely colleague who is a friend made the mistake of calling to see how I was and I burst into tears, feeling horrendous, like I am always falling short and letting people down

sorry, that was all a bit of a rant and I feel fine most of the time but there are moments when I wonder how on earth I am going to cope

Anatalya are you on the right thread? No pinmartins in this neck of the woods

or even pinemartins

ok, definitely cheering up now, lovely neighbour has just popped round with some freshly baked blueberry and choc chip cookies...I am not kidding....they are amazing and I am licky to have such a sweet lady next door, she is always offering to babysit

so I must get a date so that I can take her up on it [grins]

oh ffs, I mean lucky

god mummy just reading that makes me feel tired!

i think a few tears are allowed dont you?

fwiw when i hit 40 i left the country, i couldnt bear the thought of being stuck in my local celebrating it

it was odd because i have never been concerned about my age before or since, but 40 just got to me

i think its because women especially are regarded differently to men at that milestone, we are always under subliminal pressure to try and look forever 25, and even if we dont really buy into it we are made aware of the fact that being 40 is supposed to mean we are past our best (pfft at that )

however men are just allowed to decline into whatever state they want and get away with it

fwiw i will be 44 next birthday and it doesnt bother me at all now

sorry meant elastamum..told you attention to detail appaling

you know what lou, I actually wouldn't mind the 50 hr week in some ways but where I work is being really badly run atm and is unlikely to imprvoe massively in that way any time soon, and the culture doesn't fit for me any more either. So I have recently made the resolution that I will through the divorce and then find myself a job somewhere where I don't feel totally ground down. I am bloody good at what i do and I am sick of feeling it draining away down the big corporate plughole. I am starting to realise why people set up on their own, but I am too risk-averse for that. But working somewhere smaller and less full of bullshit and politics would be a breath of fresh air (no pun intended)

that and get a date....

and a snog.....

I don't want much y'know

thats the spirit!

I AM CHATTING TO A MAN ON GSM AND HE IS NOT A WEIRDO

oops, sorry about the caps, and of course, he may be a weirdo

but blow me down

he is a bit short

and 10 years older than me

but he seems nice

this is good news, and if nothing comes of it then you can use it as experience for next time :)

practice makes perfect!

honestly lou, if you could see me you would be rofl

am grinning from ear to ear

I need to go to bed and get some kip, my darling dd2 will be poking me in the eye at 6.30 saying mummy, you wake? and I wouldn't change it for the world.........

nn

NN all, have just got back from next door just a little bit pissed am supposed to be doing a girls night out tomorrow but we are all either skint or with no childcare so it will be a takeaway next door .

still at least i have a date on sunday so cant be all bad

Pinemartina here! tiptoeing quietly in at the back from same thread as Antalya...hope that's ok......

hi Pinemartina welcome to the thread. Now REALLY off to bed Hic!

Hi, I'm currently internet dating too. I've had a couple of dates but nothing has come of them but at least I got a good night out of them both.