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I feel a bit sick and over emotional, can somebody tell me what to do now while i calm down.

256 replies

fairyfly · 23/08/2005 18:03

My boys were picked up by their dad on Friday. Not a very reliable man and this was probably a very stupid idea. I have not been able to get through to him on his mobile. The landline has been ignored. I have constantly been rining as i promised my children i would check they were ok daily and get them if they felt unhappy or anything.
My x's girlfriend has just answered the phone and said they are not with her, they are in Scotland, they are with their Grandad who they hardly know. I didn't even tell them thats where they were going and im not allowed to ring them.
I feel sick.

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beetroot · 23/08/2005 23:43

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fairyfly · 24/08/2005 00:54

Just rang x. Couldn't sleep started wondering if Grandad was looking after ds1's heart and knew all about it. He answered, was shocked when it was me, i calmly asked some questions, then i said why have you gone behind my back. He swore, lost his temper, called me an fing c@nt. While telling me his reasons behind it all, he doesn't know where they are everyday, i don't tell him what im doing with them, why the fuck does he have to answer to me, who the fuck do i think i am, then while i took it all waiting to ask the next question he hung up.
Rang his father, apologised for ringing so late but i want his address and i want to pick them up. That i would not take any more abuse off his son and i do not want my boys surrounded by all this sneaking around. He gave me the add freely and said please let them enjoy there little break we are all having a wonderful time. I said you can have them till friday, i wont ruin it, he may in the future come to arrangements with me but i have had it with his son till he stops this, I told him i was a thirty one year old woman and would not spend the rest of my life getting abuse like this.
That he had to sort his son out for the good of all our relationships. He said ok hen, im very sorry, i will talk to him.
I just found some old cigs and smoked three drags to calm myslef down, began to felt sick and now i am completely offloading to a computer.
Good news is gd said all the right things about ds1's care.

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Miaou · 24/08/2005 00:58

ff, just read this, so sorry for what you are going through. Glad that gd sounds like the voice of reason though.

fairyfly · 24/08/2005 01:00

Thanks Miaou, lets hope so

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anorak · 24/08/2005 01:17

Mate, just read all this without really meaning to get involved on mn tonight. Now feel sick. What a complete arse. Never ever trust him again.

The GD sounds like he hasn't put a foot wrong. Is maybe as much a victim of ex as you are. Give him a chance. Maybe good to speak with him in more detail. He's being lied to too by the sound of it.

You are a most devoted and exemplary mother and your children bear this out.

Love you hugely xxx

WideWebWitch · 24/08/2005 07:00

ff. gd does sound reasonable, even if we know his son isn't. I hope you're feeling a bit better this am. Make sure you've documented this and take it to your solicitor. Your ex doesn't sound fit to look after an animal, let alone children.

cod · 24/08/2005 07:20

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katierocket · 24/08/2005 07:33

Oh FF, why is he such a tosser (rhetorical question obviously). The GD sounds nice, it would be lovely for them to see more of him but your X...speak to your solicitor today. He needs a shot up the arse.

Caligula · 24/08/2005 07:50

I think you should try and get the gd on-side with you FF. Could you explain to him very honestly how you felt when you realised you had no idea where your children were? Particularly in the context that your ex is so hostile to you, and regularly puts his hostility to you above the welfare of his children? And so therefore you're scared he'll hurt them in order to hurt you?

If it's explained to the gd in black and white terms like that, he may understand exactly why you were so angry and upset, rather than writing you off as an hysterical bint (which is doubtless what he's been told by his son).

Also - Friday. Will your ex actually leave the kids with their gd till Friday, or will he remove them before then in order to hurt you further? I would try and get an undertaking from the gd that he will actually keep the children there with him until you come and collect them. Otherwise your ex could take them off somewhere else.

Jesus, what a sad case he sounds.

Fio2 · 24/08/2005 08:16

ff what a complete tosser, i will catch you on msn later for a g&T

sobernow · 24/08/2005 08:34

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fairyfly · 24/08/2005 09:49

Well you intuitive bunch, gd has been lovely. He rang at nine on the dot, put the boys straight on, who incedently couldn't be arsed talking to me which is always a good sign. I asked them if they wanted to stay a bit longer and their answer was, we have two swings. Turncoats.
Anyhow, he then came on the phone and said, i rang x last night after i spoke to you fwiw, said i'm really sorry but i'm not sure how much of it got through, i really don't understand him. These days he doesn't seem to know what he is doing, he has visited me and suddenly left. I can't seem to get any answers of what he is playing at and where his head is. I told him that ff must always know where the kids are, but i'm not sure he understands, i'm sorry.

I replied i really want to get on with the rest of my life now, i have tried to work at this relationship with him but his constant aggression and threats are becoming more and more difficult to bare. My main priority is the children have stability and he doesn't give it.

He agreed with me.

GD has brownie points, kids are very happy, so i'm going to let it be. I now can constantly monitor the situation, he said i could ring all day if i wanted.

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katierocket · 24/08/2005 09:58

GD sounds lovely, is this the first time they've stayed with him ff?
LOL about the "two swings" can see them weighing it up "errr...mum...two swings...mum...two swings", no contest mum sorry.

fairyfly · 24/08/2005 10:03

builds three swings in her garden<

They have stayed as babies but they don't remember.
Thanks Katie, you have been lovely.

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katierocket · 24/08/2005 10:04

You'll need to buy ferrets too you know.

oliveoil · 24/08/2005 10:22

Just ploughed through this and . He is a twat of the highest order. What a sad sorry excuse of a man. I repeat, TWAT.

Grandad sounds fab though, and as others have said, will be useful on your side.

Yours boys sound lovely. My dd1 refuses to leave her grandparents house as 'our garden is too small'. Fickle little madam.


anorak · 24/08/2005 10:34

I reckon you should organise trips to grandad's direct with grandad and cut out the middle man. Grandad sounds like a wonderful person for the boys to holiday with.

Typical of twat-face to farm them out when he should be relishing every moment with them. My ex used to do that too.

beetroot · 24/08/2005 10:36

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Fio2 · 24/08/2005 10:37

ferrets bite

glad you have someone on your side, my dear x

fairyfly · 24/08/2005 10:46

I believe i will get to find out everything that is going on now, especially after ringing me this morning.

I thought i would try and get an insight into x's thoughts at the moment and just googled for his poems. Found a few, no idea what he is talking about.

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beetroot · 24/08/2005 10:47

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anorak · 24/08/2005 10:50

post a link ff

motherinferior · 24/08/2005 10:51

FF sweetie, I've been following this thread but only got onto it after you'd tracked them to GD's. I do think you - and the boys - have found an ally and some support.

Your X is...well, the sort of thing pondlife wipe their arses on IMO.

fairyfly · 24/08/2005 11:00

I hope so Mi, would be lovely to have someone guiding him a little bit.

Can't post a link, it would give out his name.
Half of them are about making love to his girlfriend ( i think, could be his tutor, postman, sister, who knows)

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katierocket · 24/08/2005 11:01

Ha, hilarious, this 'man' writes poetry?!

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