The Spring Chat part 2

[sfxmum]

new thread keep on chatting

good morning all

dd run all the way to nursery this morning have study to catch up with so boring morning it is
seems more rain forecast for the afternoon - bother!

Auntie, would you want someone to come to the house or would the hamsters move in? We're away end of August, so email me the dates & I'll check our diary & with dh

Tilly, it could be either. Their food needs to be topped up every 2-3 days and they would need one cage clean during that time. Apart from that , they just get on with their lives lol

We could bring them to you. DS2 loves them and calls them "ann-malls, ann-malls!!"

I'll send you the dates and let me know xxx

Hello! Quiet here, isn't it?

DS2 has been a bit of a destructive teenager today. But he fell asleep in 3 minutes, so must have been tired...

Have made great progress with Chinese painting - managed to paint a pig that looked like a pig! Yay!!! Never too late to start, eh?

We seem to have lost loads of people lately - Steppie, Sushi, Mellow? Wonder where everyone is!

We've been working on our sums, and have realised we can't actually afford me to go back to work , childcare is just too darned expensive!

Slng, glad you had a nice day out, am intrigued by chinese painting!

Sfx, how's the studying going? I managed to finish an essay yesterday!! Only 2 more to go & I'll have finished level 1

Morning

Tilly - well done on essays. Are you happy to continue being SAHM?

Auntie - I can do hamsterwatch if tilly can't do it. Just email me the dates if you want me to look after them. It's really as simple as you say, right?

Slng - chinese painting sounds good. are you going to show us a pic? I'm contemplating doing another art course in Sept but depends on Dh job as he may be away a bit more in the future

Hope everyone well. It is quieter on here. I suspect FB also has something to do with it!

Morning!

Tilly - childcare is horrendously expensive, isn't it? But apart from that, you need a job that would allow you to take time off when kids are ill and when they have things on in school. It's a bit tough ... Would it be better when DS1 starts school (otherwise known as free childcare)?

Chinese painting = smudges of wet colours on paper.

Good morning all

tilly - going ok thanks last essay was dreadful I am sure, mostly guess work, seem to be on scheduled for the next one in 3 weeks.
have almost decided on next one which will be more intensive and starting in November

childcare goodness yes it is always a hard choice, personally I would have preferred to have continued working with flexible/part time with dh doing the same but did not work out like that.
with dd going full time in school in January I have been considering what to do next, if no more babies I shall have to think of something which allows me to be around after school and on holidays. obviously I would not make enough money to allow for dh to do less

head hurts now best go running, certainly need the distraction

Tilly its ridiculous isn't it!

DH and I both do flexible working, which means we only pay for one day a week full childcare - we have no choice and it has reduced our chidcare bill from £15,000 to £3,000 per. annum.

You can also get childcare vouchers, which means you don't pay tax on the amount of your pay, which you pay in childcare.

Most employers will agree to flexible working if you have children under 6 'cos they have to, its in statute now unless they can prove a watertight busines case for turning it down. I think 85% of employee requests for statutory flexible working are agreed in UK. It can include compressing your hours into less days and working from home.

Don't know if that's of any help - it is really expensive

Had any more thoughts abouyt the Hamsters?

VBUS thanks for the offer, they really are low maintenance. All you'd have to do is clean the cage once after 7 days. DS1 normally does this now. Plus just sprinkle a bit more food in their bowl every couple of days and keep an eye on the water bottle to make sure they don't run out. They are very cute. Lats night one of them was eating some dried banana and the other one kept chasing him to try and grab it. It was hilarious

auntie - I thought children did that? I mean the chasing each other around trying to grab things and looking cute ... Ah I get it. Hamsters are not loud too...

about flexible working auntie my former employer certainly put it into the policies and procedures but when it came to the practice they came up very short, at the time that I left 4 other new parents, mothers and one father left after having their requests messed about, I think they have improved but still it hurt at the time

until just a minute ago I was thinking I would pick up dd from nursery and go to Kew but it is raining hard not

I mean now

about missing posters, yes it has been a while since we filled threads at speed, they are missed off in their real lives

SFX how long ago was that? I think its changed a LOT in the last 2 years to be honest. Employers aren't getting away with side stepping the issue any more. Its one of the very few things that New Labour has acually seen through to fruition, pushing that legislation through and then strengthening it.

Loads of ppl do flexible working now, the whole culture of working hours has changed, apart from in a few very male dominated sectors, like the City/Finance sector. I think, apart from the legislation, a lot of men and non-parents have realised it actually works better as you have happier employees who will stay. Flexible working pops up on virtually all job adverts, whereas 2 years ago ppl felt they were sticking their nack out if they requested it.

Slng the hamsters were hilarious. We had Steppies children round so there were 6 kids watching them - I think they put on a show 'specially for them

neck not nack

So I was thinking... the trek to camp at Latitude has put me off going again next year but reading the Camp BEstival thread it seems not the same problem (or not to same degree) and handily its striaght down the A3...

Anyone fancy a Bestival weekend next year?

KewC that festival was a huge contender this year mostly because PJ Harvey was playing, if next year's line up is as good I would be tempted that and Womad uber child friendly apparently
I think we will hold out a bit next year to buy tickets and see how it goes there is a lot I love about Latitude but not the distances from parking to camp and not the fact that it is still growing

auntie it was 3 yrs ago and it stated it was at the discretion of the line manager and that they had to consider the request what that woman did to me was awful, I went in for 2 meeting before going to work, she was incredibly awkward the I started and she pretty much did all she could to make me work long hours I still recall 7.30am to 8pm on a few occasions. along with that over the 4 months I was back she made me be on call a total of 3 weeks which means 24-7 can be called for anything from calls to site visits to dealing with assorted agencies in emergencies

anyway rant over now sorry

Hello everyone!

Sorry I've been absent for a bit (in case you haven't noticed, lol!). Life has been a bit chaotic with various illnesses and juggling with work, etc. Hope everyone is well.

Had a first row discussion with ILs about parenting a few weeks back. They think DS is too handful and we lack discipline. Well, I still think smacking is NOT a solution.

sushi - my mum started smacking DS (or at least threatening to) a few weeks ago as his behaiour was getting so bad. So guess what - now he has started smacking us if he deosn;t like something! I finally took control of the situation a few days and firmly announced to both of them "We dont; smack in this family ANYMORE. Not Daniel, not Nanny, not Mummy"

I felt like sending them both to the naughty step!

Anyway i analysed what I thought the problem was and it was almost almost at the end of the day when he was tired and I arrived to pick him up and spent an hour yacking to my mum. We've cut hand over right down to 30 mins and try to talk to DS as much as each other and though his behaviour is still a bit defiant its certainly more manageble.

Smacking only taught him how to smack - cautionary tale for your IL's.

Countess Dracula went to Camp bestival and said that PJH was rubbish!

KC - We did consider Bestival last year before Sfx told us about Latitude! My bro went I will ask him what he thought about it. Would like to go to a fest next year but will see how it goes.

Hello Sushi - that is tough when you get freebie (unwanted) advice from IL's. You can only do what you feel is best for your child. I also don't agree with smacking

Tilly - thanks for visiting earlier, nice to see you and your cute boys. DS1 said he was plaesed there were 4 boys in the house and that DS2 had a friend to play with. He also asked for an elephant for lunch, cue much more laughter

Pity we have no PT success today to match the friviolity

Polly rubbish?! refuse to believe it

at Latitude Tricky was rubbish and I had high hopes

I agree with the no smacking rule, not that sometimes it does not feel like it along with a loud scream BUT it does not solve anything

a lot of what is talked about in 'unconditionally parenting' is more or less how we try to parent I suppose you have to decide what kind of child you want

having said that I think this 3 to 4 business quite trying infinitely more trying than the terrible twos but dd seems to have started reasoning a lot more lately and taking in what we say about her behaviour

vbus - an elephant for lunch . Did you oblige?

Smacking . In this house only one person smacks people and that's DS2. The sole prerogative of the beast of the family. Even he doesn't do it that often. At least not often enough for the message to sink in that if he does it he gets solitary confinement ...

an elephant

sfx - agree terrible twos is NOTHING. Three-year-olds win hands down.

it is heart warming to know other people have mini beasts too no matter how delightful, bright and enchanting they can drive us all a bit mad at times