April/May locals chat

[rosmerta]

Other thread full, so hope you all find me

Sushi, sorry I don't know anyone but there is a nanny agency near Kew Bridge. Hope ds is ok, typical of them to get ill at exactly the wrong time, isn't it?!

Foxie, we've sent off our form so am hoping we get our first choice (Weymouth)!

OK back from the fair. Weather not so good, otherwise went well. However, somewhat strange was that the raffle was won by members of the comittee or the parents who are big supporters, over and over again (some people won 3 prizes) - it wasn't a fix (but I guess the supporters buy more tickets). Anyway, takeaway just arrived, then off to bed. Hope everyone is having a good w/e.

The thing is its not even that I'm blind to the differencess in bonding with adopted children, you dont have the oxycitin to chemically bond you which is why they process generally takes longer. Having spoken to many people about their bonding with their child, including those who have both bio and adopted children, it seems to me that the bond with bio childrne changes as the oxcytin wears off and the bond changes and becomes more about who your child is and the things which they do that amuse you and the fact that they depend on you so much etc etc rather than any hormonal "complusion". I know people always quote the "would you die for your child" but to be honest I thnk instinctive I would probably die to save many small childrne in my life who I certainly don't feel maternal towards. The differnce with DS is I'm certain I would kill for him. I wouldn't hesitate to kill someone who harmed him and I'n equally certain that I wouldn;t do that for anyone else I know.

I do think there are people who couldn't lovean adopted child as much as a birth child but I think thats more in the intellectualising of the process (if you see what I mean) rather any reality that you couldn't love a child who didn't share half you genes.

this is probably a side issue but I never quite understand what is meant by maternal. maybe it is a language convention I miss.
I have seen people described as maternal who don't seem to be very good parents and other as non maternal who are quite competent parents.

likewise 'the rush of love' for newborn was quite alien to me, I feel responsibility and fear mostly, we have built our relationship and I guess sometimes my anxieties get in the way but I do love her and am sure would love any other child I might have.

sorry I did ramble on

should have read 'felt'

the fear and responsibility is something in common then! The first night I had DS out of the orphange we flew straight to Almaty and arrived so late (midnoguht) that we checked into a plush hotel for the night at some ridiculous rate. The beds were awesome with fantastic duvets and crisp coton - first decent bed/duvet I'd had in 2 months. And I had a terrible night sleep necause I kept having to get up and make sure that DS was still breathing!!! He was 13 months! I hadn'r realised some of the process actually would be the same as having a new born.

Paddle laughed at me today - we were comapred sizes of children and Padde was saying how her DD was a month prem. I said DS won because he was 26 weeks and 2lbs.. woman (shocked) said "Why what was wrong"

KC - "dunno I wasn;t there"

Woman just gaped fore a second (obviously extending the to posh to psuh to some kind of distance borthing = a bit like distance learning) befoer I took pity on her .

I don't normally bother telling people DS was adopted, cant be bothered but it was funny. And she had the cutest 4 month old baby - scrumptious.

oh god I'm turning into Cod

and btw KC and paddle can you both reply my email please, for once I am trying to plan stuff if you please

usually I settle dd but today she wanted dh, maybe because I have been such a grumpy old mum today, but they have been there for ages and I can still hear her talk

KC that is cute, actually

sfx, apologies I have replied

kew, thanks for a great outing today. dd really enjoyed herself and was asleep early. after i went downstairs and told them to shut TFU!

not sure it was the right thing to do as now i just have all their loud talking and laughing which must normally be masked by the music. tonight tho the bass was so heavy dd couldn't drop off.

i did feel a little sorry for that woman tho, her face was an absolute picture when you said "dunno, wasn't there!" she looked a bit more understanding when i said you were a typical west london mother who outsourced her kids were all gorgeous tho weren't they!

had more house viewings yesterday. think i am going for the good area but small house. all academic as no firm sale on mine as yet.......

PC thanks LOL at outsourcing kids

gherkin is incredibly cute, he and dd had such a good time swimming today.

he was at his cutest when he was in the act of attempting to dunk dd, on being spotted he artfully turned the dunk into a big hug! that boy is going to go far

hello hope you are all having a nice weekend

think have posted here before about a stair gate going free
last call before freecycle

hello, all
hope you're all having a fab weekend

kew..yes, indeed, stay away from the stark, ravng mad...they suck you in..

just to say that, of course, many birth mothers don't instantly love their babies, in spite of the chemical push..
would have loved to see the woman-at-the-pool's face

and, paddle, loving the outsourcing of kids scenario..

COV.. glad fair went OK. bet you're glad to get it over with.

Sushi about your cat

SJ..it was madame butterly. politically makes me feel a bit uneasy and all the refernces to my child-bride, 'possessing you" grates. but product of its time, i guess. (over to sushi..)and, of course, it''s bloody depressing....but....
the passion of the singing did captivate me..
and can't wait to go again..

just what i need, to acquire an expensive taste when all our money is about to be consumed by building work..
busy with builders to-ing and fro-ing... including your chappie today, Mrs R..and very pleasant he was, too.
thanks a million again for the phone number
toodlepip

Hi all, lol @ outsourcing kids!

Ds had a shock today, he tripped up in church this morning and smacked his nose. It's only stopped bleeding in the last hour or so. He was so upset I think at the sight of so much blood and now he's got a stuffy nose as well. But he's back to his normal self and hopefully has gone to sleep.

hope everyone else is well

HI all. Sorry about the nose ROs. DS had a nosebllled after falling off a skateboard a few weeks ago (in my defence he was lying on his stomach on the skateboard and managed to headbutt the floor from a height of about 2 inches). It is indeed a shock for them when they see that amount of blood for the first time. DS was pretty snuffly for a few days afterwards.

oh Ros poor ds but those things often look worst than they are, we took pictures when dd got a fat lip and she asks to see them once in a while much to dh's discomfort

• daddy show me the picture of my big fat lip you gave me

I hope the weather this week is a bit better than last weeks wetness

quick skim - sushi about your cat.

ros - hope ds has recovered.

COV - glad fair went well enjoy your take-away.

pc - thanks for chat yesterday it really really did help and dh and I have a life plan now which follows your suggestion.

KC - your comment about ds birth. I love shocking people.

my news - had to come back from van early as got text from AP yesterday announcing that she was leaving and had left notes at home telling me why. dh is the angriest I have ever seen him. So I am now AP-less and will never have an AP again (hurrahhhh). How very dare we let someone into our home/family and she decideds to leave without a goodbye to us/LOs who loved her to pieces. They will get over her but we won't get over the abuse of trust/friendship/respect that we offered her.

oh steppie just seen you saw builder today - he's lovely isn't he? He really is a nice guy as well, despite him being a df of my bro's.

mrsR to hear

isn't it just sfx

mrsR that's just so , I can't believe someone would do that!

Ds is fine, wouldn't let us clean him up for a while but he perked up fairly quickly. Cov, you're right about it being the amount of blood. We'd just managed to calm him down & then he saw his hands covered in blood and started crying again. There doesn't seem to be any bruising (yet!)

MrsR - hat kind of behaviour is so disappointing - makes you really feel you want to write them a stinking letter but you know that it won't make any differnce.

Hmm, nice builder friend... single?

MrsR - sorry I haven't been in touch. I have now located part of my mobile!!! DS2 has dismantled it and the back is missing

DS1 read in Church this morning, then I did a stall at school fair, then I had book club so haven't had time to scratch my arse today but will deffo call you within next 48 hrs

Am very at your AP!!! How irresponsible. Just as well she's gone though. Why won't you be getting another?

Ros - hope your DS is OK

CoV glad the fair went well You can relax now and look forward to Chicago!!

Just realised I have arranged to go to dentist tomorrow and have no babysitter - plus I have arranged or BT to come round at the time I am due at the dentist!!

Doh!

MrsR,
at AP's behaviour.

Steppie,
Yes, I was irritated at the plot when I watched Madame Butterfly too. However, I'm not really good at understanding lyrics anyway, so that helped.

Ros,
Glad ds is okay.

Hello all

at AP leaving MrsR, v. poor behaviour on her part

Ros - glad DS has recovered well, must've been pretty scary seeing all that blood

Steppie - glad you enjoyed opera despite plot

COV - enjoy Chicago trip

KC - at comment in pool

We're awaiting news from vendor today to see if they will accept our new offer....