April/May locals chat

[rosmerta]

Other thread full, so hope you all find me

Sushi, sorry I don't know anyone but there is a nanny agency near Kew Bridge. Hope ds is ok, typical of them to get ill at exactly the wrong time, isn't it?!

Foxie, we've sent off our form so am hoping we get our first choice (Weymouth)!

SFX I love the pics on your profile

So what is "The Book Thief" like then? Have you finished it?

SFX do you know where practice tests are??

I found one sample on Guardian jobs but is was blardy difficult. Even my accountant friend found it hard

Thanks for the support everyone. TBH it isn't just the graffiti, I just feel I'm drowning in a mountain of mess. We all know how anal I am about my house, but I can't seem to keep on top of the normal housework, plus the major decluttering I have started, whilst also organising this school fair. To top it off my mother comes to stay 3 days after the fair for 6 days to look after the children whilst dh and I are in Chicago and she is as anal as me. I can't bear the fact the house may still be a tip, and I am worried ds's current behaviour (lack of sleep, graffiti, general stubborness and messiness) will be too much for her to manage. I told dh today I am having serious reservations about going, but the tickets are non refundable and his office will prob make him pay it back if I don't go, plus we also have forked out for the extra night hotel which we wouldn't get back. DH would have to stay on anyway or get himself a new return ticket. AAARGGh. Would it be so terrible to put a catch of some description on the outside of his door to stop him getting out the room at night, now the stairgate doesn't stop him. Or any other fab parenting tips to bring him back in line!

posted on FB not here these are bit old but thanks

am only about half way through mostly because of study and generally being weird lately
book ok so far I think it would suit teens, will probably finish it next week then do last essay and be free to attack the stack to be read

try here

SFX I am reading Kate Atkinson's "One Good Turn" - a bit of a suspense thriller and very good. Will check out FB if I ever get a chance to Log o...

We MUST do that Book Swap - in my garden when the weather is better reliable unless anyone else wants to host . We are so well read,we have a book swap once every 24 months

CoV - you must go to Chicago - you really need that break by the sounds of it. You are worried about what what your Mum will think, but don't worry - she is your Mum and has been there before, Just warn her about DS's current habits - and if the house is a tip, just say breezily, "oops, excuse the house, its is a complete tip - I have been up to my eyes organising the school fair!" - works every time . She will respect you for doing the school fair and naybe even tidy up for you.

My very good friend N organised our school fair and said it really got on top of her - a huge stressful job of co-ordination. Have you got a co-helper? It always helps to share this stuff out a bit rather than take all the burden yourself.

Blimey thanks SFX

Yes I have a fab deputy chair, but the rest of the parents are a bit thin on the ground when it comes to doing the leg work. We tend to get enough volunteers to actually run the stall on the day, but it is all the planning and organisation in the weeks/months leading up to the day that tends to fall into my lap. Things like sourcing the cheapest of everything (paper plates, cups, drinks, getting free stuff, bouncy castles, dj, raffle prizes etc etc), then typing and photocopying 200+ letters, making posters, collecting donations for tombolas etc. on on on it goes. I am very pround to have manage to persuade someone to provide all the food for the bbq free of charge and man it (we have peri-peri chicken, lemon chicken, as well as the usual. Also have persuaded Waitrose and Sainsburys to jointly provide all the necessary to make up a medditerranean hamper to raffle. Got a local estate agent to sponsot it, cover the cost of all printing, make the banners, pay £10 a board for all the boards outside peoples houses advertising the fair (£250 in total), and got a donation of £15500 from a locally run big business.

I know my mum will cope and ds will probably be an angel for her, just had a bad night with him and am so sick of finding destruction in all different corners of the house.

Oh well he is at nursery all day tomorrow so plenty of time for a blitz of the house, and to locate evey bit of drawing/cutting equipment and put it under lock and key

CoV - it sounds as though you are doing a brill' job organising the fair

Someone said to me the other day "sons wreck your house, daughters wreck your head" - so true!

LOl, that sounds about right. Thanks for the support. I'm sure it will be fine, the fair will be a sucess, my mother will survive, and we will have a lovely break. And if ds is a horror, I just guess this will be my first and last jolly for a long long time

cov sounds like you are doing a great job, go on your break, shop re charge they will cope

and now off to write essay

Another crazy thought that enters my head is that I don't want them to cope .. For 2 reasons, (a) I don't want to realise I am dispensable, and (b) I don't want to return and find they have behaved so much better for my parents than they do for me.

OK all line up to tell me how crazy I am

just a quick hello - have skimmed the thread.

Big congrats to SJ (and Family)

Paddle - I'm afriad its bound to be a bit chaotic when you get back - DD is no doubt excited to see you and therefore at her worst! Luckily I am blessed with crap powers of observation and don't even notice the happy families with the daisies surrounding their heads. I just bumble along in my own sweet way and really don't spend too much time analysing when life for DS could be beter or worse (or me even). I try to minimise the stuff which pisses me off or winds me up and do as much as I can of the stuff I enjoy (which tend to be the easy stuff )

Had a lovely long weekend down the IOW - I does make me realise how much easier it is having other people to split the load on the other hand a weekend sharing with my family (dearly though I love them) is enough to convince that being single has its benefits!

My fucked up deranged brother is apparently trying to persuade my very mathematically gifted (I mean wins county maths prizes at A level standard type of gifted) that she shouldn't go to university because genius's dont need to . Thankfully she had dug her heels in and said she's going whther he likes it or not. As he's trying something similar on his elder daughter I suspect that he is trying to keep them at home.

Please tell me its not genetic that you become a selfish git with age.

Actuially overall it was fine and DS is obsessed with my brother - thankfully bro is also quite enamoured of DS!

oh cov - it pisses me right off when DS is better behaved for my mum than me. Also he's taken to wailing "Nanny nanny" when I tell him off for anything . I know its a phase but it does wind me up.

We are dispensible, hopefully we plan the best we can for our childrne to have caring relatives/friedns who can step in if any happens to us. Thats what gpd parents try to do isn't it? With that comes the fact that we have to let our children bond with other people outside of us when we selfishly want to be the only person that is important to them.

Being a good mum isn't about (in my very humble opinion) "coping" its:

a) keeping them (and you) alive despite despite their various behaviours that would drive a saint to murder;
b) giving your children self esteem and a knowledge that they can be hideous and you will still love them;
c) baking plenty of cake.

I'm still working on all of the above.

and it doesn;t help when my mum "accidentally" calls herself "mummy" fairly regularly

Sushi - how is DS?

HI Kew, glad you had a lovely weekend, are you and ds all fit and healthy now?

Not sure about (a) and (b), but have certainly masterd (c)

i'm struggling with C at the moment. i know i still love her when i'm ranting at her for putting her toothbrush round the toilet rim then heading it straight for her mouth. but does she know i still love her that's the thing!

and now i'm petrified she's got sunstroke as i've really caught the sun today.

btw kew, dd is the grand master at telling me "grandma/grandpa/daddy/uncle nick/the postman said i could" when i tell her no to something. drives me blardy nuts as clearly none of them have said any such thing. well, the postman might have actually........

glad you had a great weekend, it does really help sharing the load doesn't it.

B, I'm struggling with B, and C for that matter.

dd asked when we should put the egg in as I cooked spag bol tonight. she then asked me to sprinkle more sugar on her portion, it was actually parmesan cheese!

she is incredibly hilarious, why on earth can't i just let her be who she is without being on her case so much.

we had a wonderful 5 minutes of peace and quiet whilst she had an ice lolly at the fair tho. maybe my summer strategy should just be infinite ice lollies thus leading to a few minutes of quiet!

btw kew, was thinking of you guys on my flight home and how ds (and you) have been so ill recently. we were exactly the same last winter. seems dd got every cold/tummy bug going and duly shared with me.

i think it's the first year that they are so exposed what with CM and playgroups and mixing with so many other kids.

this year, touch wood, has been much less traumatic so hopefully ds has built up his immunity a bit and next winter won't be so hard going.

QC I love your philosophy!! Would your neice like to do my on-line numerical test for me ?

Paddle - I don't think it was hot enough to get sunstroke today. She's probably a bit burnt and you are just being a mother and worrying too much!! We took our pale DD to Brighton when she was about 1. The sun and wind made her face swell up in a big red ball with piggy eyes (like her mother..) but she was just fine the next day!

CoV sadly we are all dispensable

I am not dispensable. I make cakes don't you know

I sort of find the thought of being dispensable quite reassuring but only as an abstract concept, my whole aim is to do better than my parents (possibly not very hard given their disastrous parenting) and to help dd become a confident happy well balanced human being.

and bake cakes

hi Kc glad you had a nice time.

as for behaving better with other people, that happens a lot today apparently dd was telling dh that she would complain to me that he was hurting her neck when not being careful going over bumps in the bike

I'm awake so early because I'm so pissed off with myself for forgetting something at work. Harrumph!

Early morning philosophy No 1: being a parent is about making oneself dispensable. If there is cake in the process all the better.

slng, i am impressed with philosophy at 6:30am. I could've done with some at 5:30am when dd woke up screaming.

combined with asbo neighbours shennanigans till gone midnight grumpy mummy syndrome seems set for another day........

dd is now a vision of pink and the malaise is extending to food now. Pink Toast for breakfast, this I can manage with a bit of strawberry jam!

I am officially knackered.

First day back in teh office, I have so much "personal" stuff to do like expenses, promotion review, timesheets etc. What do I have scheduled? Back to back meetings all day.........

where is the off button?

Paddle - Not-so-early-morning philosophy No 2: never think about things when knackered, especially not anything to do with kids and espeically not trying to evaluate your parenting.

Speaking as somebody who has next to no maternal instinct though, whenever "bad" days outnumber "good" days I turn to a book. My latest parenting book is The Science of Parenting, and I must say it's brilliant - it seems to make sense, explains plausibly what goes on in those alien little minds, and how to cope with it, and most importantly it has summary bullet points! (The how-to-talk book is sitting on the shelf not doing anything at the moment because it's too wordy... Sorry, no maternal instinct and lazy ...) Anyway bet this is just what you want to hear - go read another parenting book! Seriously though, it has reduced the number of times I feel like exploding and that can only be a good thing. I think.