March chat for locals

[Kewcumber]

for when the old one runs ou shortly

sfx - if I gain a pound every time someone expresses the pleasant surprise that somebody from the backwaters of East Malaysia can speak "such good Chinese" I would be obese by now. Bah humbug to them all.

Just to add to your stress - what do you need to do at the embassy? When I go to the high commission I worry that I wouldn't be able to understand Malay anymore ...

I need to update my documents, my last ID card run out years ago and I could not be bothered to do it again, and I have not been travelling for a while there was no real need.
I went last year but apparently I had the wrong kind of birth certificate and the wrong kind of pictures anyway I applied for another appointment sometime in October I think and was given the date of April 17

Anyway as it is I can't registered as married as it this has not been amended on my birth certificate so I need to do a new ID card followed by changes then a new ID card

• can you see why I hate them?

all this costs money and I might have the right stuff in a couple of years

( well you asked)

Ah! The joys of ID cards and bureaucracy! Imagine the British making us foreigners have one too! > In contrast, it took me just 6 hours to get a new Malaysian passport. And they were friendly at the high com. And they sold authentic malaysian snacks in the courtyard, as the official told me with great glee. We Malaysians have our priorities right. (Sometimes.)

I think our new ID card is all bells and whistles maybe this time they will let me in the USA that and the fact I am now respectable and married to a British man.

I like the snacks idea.
when I am there or talk to my cousins I see things that remind me why I left, the men are far too sexist useless mummy boys macho

not generalising or anything really

sfx - I've just realised I don't know which country you are from

I am Portuguese, born in Africa grew up in Madeira left as soon as I could

I have just ordered Easter chocolate feeling very indulgent

ca I ask how many of you had your DC's christened (if you are christian obviously). Am having a major league argument about it with my mum

ds was baptised but that's because we are catholic and wanted him to be. It is a commitment to the church and if someone is going to be baptised/christened then it should be because you believe in and are willing to follow those values.

Sorry, I know you were just asking for numbers, bit of a touchy topic

Just reread my post, I sound so preachy didn't mean to!

no not a touchy topic Ros - I can absolutely understand that anyone who is practiscing any religion should get their child baptised christened etc.

My mum think I should get DS chirstened, despite me being an atheist, because he was "enough disadvantages" as it is wihtout not being CofE. And how he should be raised within a Christian family because the values are good for chidlren. I have tried to explain to her that Christianity is beleiving in Christ as the son of God and that raising children to be pleasant and caring is NOT raising them as Christians . She seesm to think that I was raised as a Christian

This from a woman who
a) didnt get me chrsitened
b) doesn't believe in God
c) never once took me to church.

She thinks that not being christened means that he won't be able to celebrate Xmas.

I'm very angry about it but she is saying that she won't discuss it. Just says I am worng. Passive aggressive at it best - cried when she told me how misguided I was...

I realize this is not aimed at me as non Christian but I can sympathize with family pressure re marriage and baptism.

However I don't believe so it would be hypocrisy and not the best example for a young child.
I shall however be careful to tell dd to refrain from murder etc. and do unto others as you would have them do unto you, mainly by example I hope.

I might however condemn her to a life of substandard education

But I do believe you have the right to do what you think is best for your child according to your brliefs

beliefs even

QC we have had all three baptised as you know. I felt very strongly that I wanted them raised and schooled as catholics - partly because I want them to feel part of a christian community and an Irish/Italian community and also of course because I want them to go to the kind of school I went to, which was very lovely.

Is that why your Mum wants DC to be christened? Just think, you could apply to Queens as well then!!!

Seriously, you need to do what you believe is right for him. I can't really see how being a christian gives you an advantage in a practical sense, apart from being able to attend a faith school.

Am I cynical or what?

We live in a multi- cultural society so he is not going to be offered a job becuase he is a christian when he is older is he (unless its a vicar's job of course)? I do agree with you that a christening is a wee bit pointless unless you are willing to raise him as such - and there can be tangible benefits if that were the case: ready made community with strong family values, access to good schools, strong christian community ethos etc. But then there are lots of other ways of giving your child those benefits, as you say, without having him christened.

BTW SFX Ben 10 is a cartoon character, who now has a book written about him. Written and "illistrated" by my DS1 [proud emoticon]

Am off sick with "man flu" myself today

Feel absolutely terrible

CoV I have to admit I quite enjoyed making DS1's costume in the end and especially enjoyed cutting DD's witch wig into a Bob hairstyle for her costume!

no tis aimed at you too sfx - did you get DD christened.

My mum knows I am an atheist (as is she is she doen;t beleive in a god!)

No foxie she's not concerned about getting into schools but about the fact that DS will be "different" to all the other children locally who will be christened and CofE She says that will mean I will have to take him out of school assmeblies and he will not celebrate Xmas with the rest of us (who are obviously all good practising christians?)

the reason I'm so cross about it is that she gave me a three page letter pointing out all the things that I obviously hadn;t considered and then refused to discuss it.

Taken out of school assemblies and not celebrate Xmas? Where's the disadvantage then?
(Sorry being flippant Kew, but really cannot see how DS is disadvantaged. He can come and be disadvantaged together with my two.)

(What's assembly anyway? Doesn't sound like an incentive, whatever it is.)

KC

I understand the community side of it but I think a strong reasoned sense of ethics and a humanistic approach should do just fine.
there are things such as charity work, sense of duty to the wider community, sensitivity and compassion which I feel can be passed on without a belief in God

The Bible is a book I hope she becomes familiar with but it is not the only one I want her to read and think about.

what we need is a bunch of atheists getting together and starting a school, although that might be just as likely as the Lib Dems forming a government,

well obviously I don't think he will be disadvantaged. I think that a chirstening is a religious ceremony and doing it for any reason other than that you beleive it makes a mockery of it and you.

Given that just about everyone in the family and frineds know I am an atheist I just can't imagine standing up in front of them all anyway.

Her view is that he needs as much normality as possible and that being christend is "normal". She listed as one of the reasons that he is not normal as "how his mother looks" - I hope thats just a refernece to being fat and there's no other subtext going on there!

A letter and I thought my aunt was passive aggressive

I don't think how anyone can fully understand western culture without some idea of the Bible and Greek/Roman mythology - honestly!

and as for celebrating Christmas does she mean the fully commercialized greedfest?

the most ridiculous thing sfx is that I am the only member of the family to have any prolonged involvement in charity work, morals (just kidding there) even with a CofE charity. And the only one not christened.

yes that Christmas sfx - the christian festival that we celebrate in our family by the religious ritual of spending money, eating too much, watching TV and going for walks. I wonder which one she thinks he will have to give up?

I do need to calm down as I am actually very very cross about it.

It is an emotive issue but she is entitled to her beliefs, she must have anxieties of her own just would be best to express them in a different way but parents hey

my aunt goes to mass but refuses to go to confession and has not taken communion since she was quite young, she does not like priests

• now there is an interesting psychological insight

she is absolutely entitled to her beleifs and I would happily discuss them with her. but I bloody object to being given a 3 page letter of her view on the problem (one of which list me!) and then a refusal to discuss it.