Moving to NJ from the UK

[mumdone]

I have the possibility of moving from Surrey to NJ, with work. I would have a relocation package and salary in the region of 300k, my husband wouldn’t work for a while and we have 3 children 13, 10, 7. My office would be in Whippany and I would need to be there 2-3 times a week. Is this enough of a salary? Where is a family place to live with good schools? We live in Surrey in the Surrey Hills and live the countryside. I am worried about the politics and crime. Any advice welcome

Gosh, really interesting discussion, and of course I would be seeking a specialist help, it comes as part of the deal, but I wanted to put initial feelers out there without engaging with a specialist yet, so thank you. Lots of food for thought.
We hear the news; but the news is always bad news, whatever country you are in. Having people that have done the move or live that is what I wanted.
Schools and my children are my biggest concern, I need to think of not just the now but their future. If we go and leave my eldest would be past GCSE age but my middle one in the thick of it.
its not just schooling but it’s financial benefit and long term career progression too, what I do know lays the foundation for a better career path in later years and affording to give my children a better start albeit schooling, getting them on the housing ladder etc. I am both long and short term focussed. I personally think it would be a wonderful adventure and we would adapt to whatever life throws at us, together. No crystal ball to see what happens in a year or 3. Thank you for taking the time to respond with practical, useful advice.

Have you floated the idea with your family?

What is their initial feeling on it?

It will be a wonderful adventure. My friend divorced took a leap with her daughter 30 years ago. She had a great career in NJ. Met, married a southern gentleman. They retired last year to New Hampshire. Her daughter and family settled on an island off Maine.

They had a backyard with a huge pond, trees, amazing wildlife a great place for children. The schooling was excellent.

With money, you will be innured against any troubles as you are in most countries.

Long term it's good for your career.

Go for it I'd say.

3 decades ago. Relevant.

Now*

I think it’s important to clarify whether it’s £300 or $300 to get more specific advice. And if your husband will be able to work.

And yes - outdoors activities are very different. It was my husband’s favourite discovery about moving here (he grew up in rural PA). The odd thing is that rural areas don’t have any more outdoors access than anyone else unless you own a giant area. Land is either private or its state parks and such, not like Scotland where there are woods and lakes and hills everywhere. I don’t know Surrey to compare specifically however.

Of course there are plenty of people living totally normal lives and lots of lovely things and experiences. It’s just a very odd time to be in the states just now - people are scared and angry and it’s starting to affect everyone, even people who have had all sorts of privileges before. And you’ll be right in the middle of it as immigrants yourselves so it would be disingenuous not to mention it.

I think it’s important to clarify whether it’s £300 or $300 to get more specific advice. And if your husband will be able to work.

and how compares to current salary!

I like your spirit - I’ve had a lot of adventures overseas with my kids that people have raised eyebrows up but we’ve always had the best time and don’t regret any of the opportunities that have arisen. We are all richer for it.
good luck with the schooling thing - I think if you sort that to your satisfaction then you’ll have a brilliant experience

I’m from New Jersey but live here now. I have my family there still and visit often. What people see on the news gives everyone an uneasy feeling about the US (myself included). However, when I visit it’s not that that different to when I lived there. NJ is generally affluent, good states schools, etc. Americans there are very community oriented so you will be welcomed. The schools are good, and the houses are lovely- you will drive everywhere, shop at strip malls on highways- it’s a convenient lifestyle. I went through one of the top public schools in the state and it was competitive. Academics seem more rigorous here but in the US kids are more well rounded- sports, the arts, music, etc in high school are a big deal!

300K single income salary if USD after taxes- honestly not sure it’s that wealthy these days but it’s okay. I’d negotiate in some other perks especially with healthcare. Make sure they’re offering a low deductible premium plan and ensuring your salary will cover the high monthly payments. Maybe they can give you a lump sum to cover the deductible for a few years. If your kids go into the US system they may want to attend university there and that is astronomical- Americans spend years saving for that and they have to set aside their deductible amount each year just in case- Brits don’t have to set aside as much as Americans do. Groceries are expensive now too. Material things like clothes and furniture are cheaper. TV cable and phones are more expensive. Americans also don’t get near the number of perks Brits do at work- not just PTO- like all the hidden humane things like paid sick leave, bereavement, etc. Work environments are a bit more cut throat in the states too, just be aware of that- ie. it is frowned upon to take the PTO you do have and workplaces sometimes have unwritten rules that you can’t take more than one consecutive week at a time. Be sure to have some stipulations for PTO to return to visit the UK for multiple weeks. Hope that all helps!

She can’t win with you can she

Oh don’t be a spoilsport, it’s a growing sport laughing at the hysterical hypocrisy of the lefties.

Personally, right now, I wouldn't. It doesn't feel ethical for one thing, and I also think that what we saw yesterday and last week in Minnesota could only be the beginning of something much, much worse and more widespread.
My US based relatives have said not to visit them right now; of course the chances are that everything would be fine fo a short trip, but there are palpable nerves in immigrant communities, even for those with longstanding residency, American family ties and all the right paperwork.

This. You couldn’t pay me enough to visit the USA currently, let alone move there. Aside from the frankly volatile political situation, I would be more concerned about putting my kids in the American education system. Not just the level of teaching but the mass shootings.

Things are absolutely insane in the US at the moment. I wouldn't even visit right now, let alone contemplate moving. I was reading a really eye opening article recently about the amount of school shootings that happen there regularly. It beggars belief that this is the 'norm'. Horrible.

Of course 300k a year is good you know that it's good especially with all insurance included

What's not good is you even entertaining moving children to that mad man's country without even asking their thoughts

I would not consider taking school aged children to live in the USA and i love the place!! If you are set on taking the job then commute, its an easy flight to Newark or other east coast hubs.

Unless money burns a hole in your pocket, I suspect that you won't feel any better or worse off than you do currently. You will just spend money on different things.

If you have a full expat package, you won't need to worry about healthcare, holiday entitlement - they tend to give you the best of both worlds. I know some people will tell you to be cautious about holiday entitlement, but someone on an expat package will not have just 2 weeks holiday. They will slot you in with your peers. It's the same with housing entitlement - you should get the kind of place that someone on your level has.

If your hubby doesn't work, he should make sure he makes voluntary NI contributions in the UK. Your company should pay yours as part of your package, but worth double checking.

The elephant in the room is your children - where they are educated and how they slot back into the UK. You mention school fees - is that so your children can go to international school? It's unusual for a company to pay school fees in the US as you would be living in a top school district.

As for living - you could easily replicate your Surrey Hills lifestyle. However, the US is very much a suburban nation, so if your really want to experience it, you would rent out a house in a swanky neighbourhood, with nice shopping nearby (it won't be walking, but neither is Surrey Hills). Your would join the pool club, and sign up your kids for all sorts of clubs. You can take all sorts of trips on the weekends - cities, beach, forests, mountains.

It's a nice and easy lifestyle when you can afford it, which you can.

She lived there until last summer. Owns an international realtors selling homes to clients worldwide. So yeah relevant.

Tricky one. The younger ones would probably be fine with the move, or your commuting but the 13 year old ( unless they're super-human) needs stability of schools plus a present mother. I've seen, over my 40 years as an adult, so many women who work as the main bread winner, who struggled with teenagers. They need you more 13 to 18, than they ever do as toddlers then little ones. Also your taking them out of schools and peer groups they know can come back to haunt you. Never been in your position, but I know many women ( working in TV drama) who worked 12 hour days, who jacked it in for the teen, GCSE and A level years, as they had to be home. Exam concerns, friendship angst, boy issues, aren't easily shared on facetime.

Not for all the money in the world

Just wanted add something as relates to schooling if it’s helpful. The US doesn’t have GCSE’s but a standardised test that all kids take age 17 before their final year of school called the SATs. This along with grade point average, an essay and extra curricular would be what you are assessed on for US university entrances. What I’ve seen in the UK is if you don’t have GCSE‘s an are applying from another country that they seem look for an equivalent grade point average. Another thing that is also helpful is in the US is taking AP (advanced placemat) classes which is more advanced and looked on highly by universities, it is more challenging and a bit more specialised. Either way, for SATs in America there are a lot of prep courses you can take, tutors etc which is helpful! And you are always with a school guidance counsellor too who can help you.

If you decide on your kids staying for university in the US (though I would just caution it’s expensive!) I know some employers offer a tuition benefit too which might be worth asking about. For example they might contribute a certain amount to college tuition per child. State schools would be more affordable and out of state would be more expensive but of course there are scholarships etc.

I also agree with previous posters who advised on getting the most out of your medical package as that’s the place you see really high costs for a family in America. Another thing you might ask about is whether or not they would contribute to leasing a family car as a lot of US companies will definitely do that. Good luck and all the best OP with whatever choice you make!

Yep
on the basis of this extra info…. Relevant!

For me it depends entirely on current salary and circumstances. For an uplift of 10%…. Nope. For an uplift of 120%…. Yep

But @mumdone keeping that card close to her chest so difficult to give a view

It would have to be a massive uplift for NJ to work do me though. Ie at least 100% increase

The children have a father who won't be working.

I relocated to NJ with my family at age 6 for 4 years due to my dad’s job. I absolutely loved the experience and feel it really added to my life - but - that didn’t factor in the current political climate as this was 30 years ago!